KJ 17h
Is it possible for heartbreak to cause physical pain in your chest?

I can feel it burning,
scorching
its searing pain
deep inside.

How am I supposed to breathe when I'm weighed down by it?

My lungs try to expand
but,
they get stuck.
No air comes.

I don't think I will ever find another who cares like you do.

Your love suffocates me,
I am
floundering and
drowning in it.

I know that when I end this, I will never feel love again.

How is it
that even though
I'm the one ending it,
I'm the one broken.

I asked you straight to your face, how was it so easy to lie?

You lied to me
over and over
time and time
again.

I knew this would never work, I ruin everything I touch.

We should have
just stayed friends.
Nothing will ever
be the same again.

I may be imperfect and flawed, not worthy of much.

I expected more from you,
a self proclaimed
knight
in shining armor.

You screwed this one up, my darling.

I miss my best friend, but I won't rely on your devotion
and misconstrued idea of love.
Kat 1d
I'm hurting lately
Is it just me?
I keep breathing barely
Is there a good excuse?

I'm quite tired these days
Should I get medication for that?
My nightmares are showing me new ways
What's the deal?

Cut. One small thought I had as well
Where did that come from all of a sudden?
In our bathroom is that certain smell
(I can't stand it)
Am I doing this right?

I think I left my confidence at home
Or is it hiding under the bed?
Guess we got separated, this girl is one, lone.
Or is she?

I made new friends in the meantime
Is Anxiety coming over?
We gonna have another slumber party, “I seem fine”
(That's going to be the theme)

Don't forget about Self-loathing,
the party doesn't really start without them, does it?
It's gonna be a sick time with a bunch of loafing,
Sounds pretty good, huh?

Might as well make this my invitation,
to my awesome sleepover
though there's an ongoing renovation
so please don't mind the noise.
Not sure what I did here. Just some random thoughts written down in the heat of the moment. Let me know what you think.
Geanna 2d
Losing control of my own mind
It's all darkness, nothing shines
They yell and scream, they feed me lies
The pain it hurts so much inside
You think it's time I finally die?
~ G.P.O
Geanna 1d
Have you ever missed something so much,
It actually starts to hurt?

I miss the beautiful artwork I would create
on my body, the old ones are still there
But I want to create new ones

I miss painting the lovely color of
Dark red on my light brown skin
I miss the after look,
To see how far i've gone
I see the old ones and admire them
While others see them with such sad eyes

They don't understand
I don't expect them to
If only I can do it again
And again
  And again
    And again

To never get tired of it
My lovely artwork
My lovely scars
       My lovely blades
Oh I miss you so
~ G.P.O
“I’m Okay!”
Is just my favorite Lie,
It helps to hide
And
Pretend that
I’m perfectly Fine.
It’s 12 AM, what do you expect?
Geanna 2d
Me
It hurts me to tell them lies
To tell them "I'm fine" when i'm not
  To fake a smile and a laugh  
   To look them dead in the eyes    
    And have them believe me      

It also hurts me to tell them the truth
To watch them cry
  For them to ask and ponder what they did wrong  
   To see the sadness in their eyes    
    To know that it's my fault      

Because it is ... My fault
   I did this  
      I created this      
         Me ... I did it
~ G.P.O
"You need to chill."
"Why don't you just relax?"
"Why are you so sensitive?"
"Why are you depressed?"
"What are you doing about your depression?"
"Why don't you just eat something?"
"Are you even trying to get better?"
"Why don't you try harder?"
"You should workout more"
"Why don't you grow your hair out?"
"If you lost more weight you'd be really sexy"
"You need to learn how to entertain yourself"
"Everyone has problems"
"Would you just stop talking"
"You make everything about yourself"
"You're just confused"
"We've plateaued"
"My mom thinks you hate her"
"You don't listen to feedback"
"You make jab comments"
"You take everything as a jab comment"
"If you can't see I'm trying to help you then, sorry"
"I don't have the mental fortitude to deal with you"
"You're not supportive enough of others"
"I give up"
"You complain to much"
"You just sit around and mope all the time"
"You're always on your phone"
"You bring up the past to much"
"You don't do enough around the house"
"You should be grateful for what affection you get"
"Why are you anxious?"
"You make me crazy"
"I don't care"
"You're too needy"
"You need to just get over it"
"I give up, there's no talking to you"
"I can't say anything to you without you getting upset"
"Just stop crying"
"You need to be nicer"
"You're impeding my progress"
This is the shit that plays though my head every minute of every god damn day and people ask me these stupid fucking questions like "what are you doing about it?" FUCKING EVERYTHING, number one, trying to ignore all this regressive shit the ones I love have said to me.

PSA: NOT BLAMING ANYONE HERE. If you can't see that I pity you. But since some of you don't get it let me explain the fucking poem.
Fault - when depression hits it effects everyone, so fault is spread throughout. Some is real, some is not.
Quotes - sometimes when people think they're helping you they say the wrong thing. Sometimes this could equate to a microagression sometimes it's just something harmful.
Depression - depression effects everyone. I am in therapy, I am working toward bettering myself and doing everything in my power to heal so I can be the best mom and wife I can be. So when I am struggling and someone cynically asks me "but what are you doing tho?" it makes it feel like the months of hard work I put in were for nothing. That hurts.

So, do not for a fucking second think this is some woe is me fucking poem. This is the rude ass shit people have said to me on my healing journey. MY JOURNEY THAT I AM WORKING ON.
There's only so much that you can do,
so be honest about it. If you are in
a situation where you truly can't
help them, at least have to
courtesy to try and not
hurt them.
I reached 100 of Lesson Learned! I did it! I did it! Gaaah! I'm so fricking happy! And holy hell, 91 followers?! I'm so happy I could jump to the moon and back! Thank you so damn much! HP is the best, I swear!

We're all human as as humans, we all have the power to hurt people, internationally or not. We have the capability. I've been on situations where I knew I wasn't able to help people but I did so, and ended them harming them in the long run. I've learned the importance saying the word, 'no'. Do your best as a human and as a persom, ok?
Thanks so !uch, everyone.
Be back soon!
Lyn xxx
Bee Jun 14
some might say i'm a masochist
because i kept letting myself get hurt
but it's not that i loved the pain

i just really loved you


x.
Audra Jun 14
Can you hear me?
My words are not like the others
They will not criticize or mock
They just want to be heard.

Can you hear me?
The walls are caving in
And you haven’t gotten out;
Can you hear me?

I’ve never been here before,
And I can’t see where you are.
I know you’re hurting, but
Can you hear me?

Can you hear me?
I’m here for reassurance
Not to give you pity or sympathy
Or to tell you it gets better.

I’ve been worried sick,
And I want to show you love.
So just answer when I call:
Can you hear me?
I’m not quite sure what to say yet.
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