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Cat Lynn Apr 17
I am not here, I am not there
You will not find me… Not anywhere

I have not run away, I have not disappeared
I am close. I am closer then I appear

Not sure how to type what I feel
When all of these feelings just make me feel so lost and ill

This is not a rebellion. This isn’t out of frustration
You are not the enemy; I have nothing against your radiation.

In the night I have gone like the wind
But I am alive and well, this is not out of sin.

I am not gone, just hidden away for a while
You know all my locations, all my places, you know my style.

I could be anywhere, but you know where I go
I am not gone; I’m just no longer home… I’m solo

My number code now a mystery, but you know my accounts
You know and have more then what you realize. You have the amount.
You know my people, you know my spots
Although I am physically cold, my heart is burning hot

Forgive me for the pretty little lies, and for my acts and stories
My wrong, my bad, I am sorry. I greatest my apologies.

I am not fooling around with strangers, or with the fools of this earth
I am safe, and I am close by. I am not shutting you out, I’m building my own turf

Watch the black now fade away, the spikes dim and become dull
For I am independently going on this journey on my own, it’s quite the hull

I’m sick of disappointing, I’m sick of the back and forth, I want to truly know
Jesus in the desert for days, Moses on the Mountain, and Elijah with the birds sought Him alone.

Days, and weeks of isolation, alone with Him.
I want to know!!! I Need to seek and find!!! I am so sick of guess’n!!!

As far as I can tell, this is God’s leading, and if it isn’t, He can work it all out
I won’t know until I take the first step into this unfamiliar world. I promise I am safe and sound

Trying to be discerning, and wise with every step I take, as far as I can tell
I can’t hear him when many are shouting. When too many feel the need to yell.

Not abandoning the problem. I’m not abandoning His Call
I am looking for peace and answers. I want to be his Princess. He won’t let me fall.

I don’t hate you, there is no anger or disappointment in this heart
I swear I leave in peace and love, for I am hurting with this part

Dad, I know everything you said and did was only out of love
I know you didn’t mean to hurt and scar me, so I hid my scars with gloves
I know I disappoint, but I contain no anger. I need a moment and time
To ask and then receive, and to seek what I am trying to find
Answers

Mom, you are wonderful and beloved, I’m sorry if I made you feel so worried
I promise you; I am fine and safe and treasured and in good care. Please have no fury
I loved working alongside you and doing what I could to help
You did so much for me, and prayed like a warrior, breaking every spell
Blessing, that is what you are ♥

Rachel, it’s time for me to be trained on how to be a woman of service
I am on my knees like I’ve seen you done so many times. I’m encouraged
I’m sorry… But He has shown me his leading… So, I am just walking forward
I may not know where it takes me… But I swear it is HIM I am walking towards
Boldly

Dennae, I am praying for you and the things you struggle and ache with. I know the look
I’m going to miss your *******-up phrases and your unintentional jokes
But I need to go on a journey with my Savior for a while to know Thy way
He will change your heart, and your desires, you keep seeking His face.
Everything will change when you pray

Amy, I am sorry, but I tried to do what I could to be there for you
I tried to be the big sister I needed to be. I did what I could so you could see Him through
I love you little one. He has an amazing job planned for you ahead.
He has not forgotten nor abandoned you. Because for you, he bled.
Remember His Love

You can come, and see, and visit! You know where you can stop by
I am not dead; I can assure you, that I am very much alive.

Take care of my baby fluff, and the fish down below
Trying to follow His leading, and not drench myself so low…

Time to grow up, time to discover and learn.
He is the greatest teacher; He will protect me from the fires that burn

Gone indeed… But to really seek and discover what is in store
Alone and Solo, I depend on Him to really speak and show. My body on the floor

Don’t be worried, scared, or frightened, for I am in good hands
I love you; I miss you. You are not locked away from my stands

From the darkness, I escape, but only to seek the light
Forgive me, my beloved family… but I need to take this step… I’ll be alright

I may have crossed the line
But I know as long as I seek Him… and Surrender to Him, He’ll make everything fine…

Till I can see you again, Beloved Family
April 13, 2019 - 1:00 am

My Move-Out Poem Letter to my family before I left...
Kivanc Feb 7
Sky
I will dive into desolation before sundown,
If the weather gets darker, I will be lost before tasting
One who likes daylight in sweet sound of tune.

We have to look up to sky to see what's inside of it,
Temple of breath is shaken cause of the sadness,
And excuses disappear in sound of love.

I didn't realise when moment explained fact of separation,
Necessaries of love is appeared slowly with effects of sadness,
I have to lose you and me in sounds of instruments.
Amanda Nov 2018
Your photo is a
Reminder not everything
Is as it appears
So many things in life are not what they seem on the surface at all
Johnny walker Nov 2018
02:55 am Friday morning
woke from a Dream cold
sweat-damp pillow from
what I remember was
dying In a hospital my time
had come
But strange was
totally unafraid not a care
in the world, Helen was by
my bedside, just as I had
been for her she was
smiling when
I awoke
I stayed with Helen till the end It would appear from my dream Helen will be there for me too
fearfulpoet Sep 2018
objects in the distance may be closer than they appear  

how many thousands of times
these words mirrored blankly upon my eyes

only today did I-read them accurate

from the nowhere    from a great void
someone stepped and lifted me from a
rubbled prone
where there were no options
asking for nothing
over and over I beseeching

now I see
in the mirror
those words

I see only them
in the heart human
the object so close
it writ upon my face
proudly
Eric Babsy Sep 2018
The eyes that follow.
Down the hall I deeply swallow.
Is something trying to hurt me?
What are they trying to tell me?
The eyes that follow just beyond my bedroom door.
Do I dare to follow in horror?
I feel dizzy.
Quick has something stricken me?
The phantom questions that are neither seen nor heard.
I dare to question every spoken word.
Am I among the living?
What am I seeing?
Apparitions appear to me.
They are sending a message apparently.
They infiltrated my mind, body, and soul.
I used to take refuge in my home.
Now everything seems different.
Tell me who or what sent this.
My body has been taken over.
All I hear or see my system can not recover.
The eyes that follow have not released me.
Now my feet have hit the ground fleetingly.
As I try to flee.
The eyes that follow so evenly.
I have finally made it out.
The eyes that follow will they ever find out?
Danial John Mar 2018
Just so you don't misconstrue
I still care deeply about you
It's just self preservation that makes me push away
Still, we can be cordial, I'll be there on that day

The day when you decide to put the demons at bay.
You can keep ******* around til then.
However, be warned, if you don't try then they'll always win.
I hope to see you again, the real you, someday.
purpu Nov 2017
lend me other rooms
leave my mind extending
willingly i take
but consciously i'm fading
NURUL AMALIA Nov 2017
someday in the night
the moon will a little bit more radiant
stars will appear many more
and you will forget that you are alone
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