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A lot of you
Would agree
That this world 
Would be a
Better place
Without me

I don't disagree 
In fact, I've been
Wanting to leave
It behind
For as long
As I can remember

So this is
The part where
I'll never recover,
The part where
Life takes me down,
And the scene
That scars
Forever
Kushal May 18
One day I stumbled forward,
Falling into a bed of roses.
The thorns ceased to ***** as before.
They cradled me so cosy.

I found myself at a loss for words...
How could this be real?
After all the Hell I'd travelled through,
Set afire in search of a Heaven,
I'd so easily fumbled my way through its gates,
And seen a beauty I could never dream nor feel.

No, that's not it.
Maybe Heaven had found me?
Why would the Gods have blessed me so?
Why now? Why here? Wh-...

She held my hand,
And pulled me in close.

My questions quelled,
And I found an answer beyond any words my head could think.
We all find love. Sometimes we look and we find, sometimes we look away and find it, and sometimes, it finds us. As long as we are willing to love as we wish to be loved, Love will find a way.
Janay Nov 2021
You keep smiling
Keep dancing
Continue laughing
Keep staring at the stars
Continue looking up
You’re still growing darling
You’re getting close but still missing a few steps
Maybe you need to mature a little more for your new destination
Don’t settle in your own ways
Don’t settle in your old ways
Hey you…. Over there
Keep living in freedom with nothing to despair
Relax love,
There’s nothing that can bring you back, you’re free now.
Don’t settle in your own ways
Don’t settle with your old ways
Janay Nov 2021
Time is....
Ethereal
Elusive
Explosive
s y kalindara Nov 2021
A string of unrequited loves
invade my mind amid restless sleep,
four AM dreams under starless skies occupied by
pretty schoolgirls with rosy cheeks.
Seven years flowed under the bridge,
yet one of the many unspoken faces stands out
uncloaked in the mist of corridors and the early stir
of shuffling feet and uniform skirts,
my breath catches in my throat as I think of her.

I think back to our interlacement inside those four solid walls,
how I had met you through gossiping whispers and scribbles on bathroom stalls,
our paths had crossed in late winters and spring,
but those summer conversations changed everything.

By now the details are coated in dust,
but I remember the shifting air around us
wrapping me in enchantment,
and I knew I hadn't known euphoria
until I'd tasted my name on your tongue,
and I've only ever been sober
but the sound of your voice could get me drunk.

You wore a shell unlike whatever held your notoriety
and I never saw it coming, like an English storm brewing,
getting caught in the middle of it all until
it became this game of counting midnights, pacing, waiting
for the day our fingerprints stamped the same staircase railing.

I'll bet my eyes that your deathless beauty is just as haunting
as it was when I looked up at your raven hair against jasmine skin
and eyes rimmed with shadows that got me thinking
how close can our skin skim before it gets too intimate?

Transposed to a time when
what made me float the most
were your glances,
brushing hands and
hugs between classes,
and all your excuses
for patching my bruises,
to wiping blue paint off the curves of your face
and suppressing the urge
to crop the space
between our flustered breaths and parting lips,
I'd still give anything to have that kiss.

These days, I recite your letters to my bedroom ceiling at every turn
and they echo back to me in harmonies, as sacred as scripture.
How do lost words in stale, stained ink still make me yearn, crash and burn
until I'm screaming to the sea before me that you slipped through my fingers?

In retrospect, I think it's fair if I called it love
and that's something I won't apologise for.
Perhaps someday, I could stand up with a hurdling heartbeat and tell you
that I loved you the way Emily loved Sue
in glistening pink, purple and blue.


Copyright © 2021 by S. Y. Kalindara. All rights reserved.
Apparently the major crush I had on this girl I knew back in highschool wasn't a phase. I'm bisexual, which isn't as hard to admit now, but it was back then. I was 14/15/16 & growing up in a really religious & homophobic region & all these thoughts I had, felt so shameful to me. I'll still never admit them to her even though I think she felt the same way, it still feels way too risky to say. And my sexuality is something I keep hidden when I'm back home but I feel comfortable sharing it online & in poems, so thank you for reading this if you've gotten this far. **


(P.S. you can follow me on instagram, if you'd like to @sykmusings ♡)
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