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Supine to the sky and the stars scream your name.
I listen to your voice the way I like to hear it.
my version of heaven
I let the words pour out of me
Like slicing open a vein
Blood letting, to rid me of the disease
In repetitive disdain I’m dissed again
What a lewd thought to think it would let me go

Still, a flailing hope
A grasp of desperation
as my essence drains from the inner highways of my heart
A hope that it may heal the hurt
That maybe somehow the delivering and uttering
of pen and paper will relieve me
Please, just a little relief from the agony within
A cathartic reverence that will send me into a seizure
For a life that’s seized is my daily torment
A ravage beast who tore through men
and me just a boy
A white rabbit for the slaughter

And with Dr. Lecter psychotic patience
You did not devour me quick
Took your time
A new toy
Minutes turned into hours
your playful taunt and tease
To the unknowing
A provocative game entrenched in innocence and desire
I know, to juxtapose the two is almost paradoxical
Only a dark spirit, a shadow wraith, an entity of the night
can deliver such torture and delight

A delicious tour makes me quiver
both with fear and excitement
Fire and ice
Drops of hot wax while bathing in ice cubes
You bath me with your love
You burn me with your spice
When I wince or flinch
I see upon your face
With satisfaction a smile appears
Grinning broadly from ear to ear

Wrapped around your finger
as if there ever was a doubt
Eons gone and warped through space
my mind you warp
my thoughts you erase
Like a hunting trophy hung to dry the flesh
Both arms and legs are bound up tight
There I’m hung, served up for you upon a dish

Blood cut off, feels like atrophy in my tissue
I am your servant offering no service
A visceral charge within me
The rushing thrill of fear
I see the blood in your eyes
the fangs in your teeth
but I do not cower away
Lunging towards you for relief
A parasite inside my brain
Narrow sighted
and choosing sides
Forever by your side
Do it now!
I want to feel your fangs sinking deep into me
and drain me of my life force
Taking every drop I have to give

Offered up, I am your nectar
Dancing the line between life and death
A euphoric Hell
wrapped up in your spell
Enslaved to you for eternity
Inserted into the ignition you turned the key
the motor roars
with thunderous sounds
Screams and cackles like wild animals
Deafening shrills
and the most unnatural of notes
until a resounding silence

The storm has passed
but the clouds still remain
The ominous is drifting about
uncertainty with such certainty
A certification given
with a two-ton weight
****** upon my chest
from where you ripped my heart
and now on your pain I live
An accepted compromise

Like an oscillating frequency
or a voyager forever caught between two storms
This is the fate I choose
I will endure the pain and abuse
A tribute to you my love
to show how much I care
Infinite reassurance I must fulfill
but upon fulfilling the role of assurance
No insurance needed
A guarantee
I am splayed out and crucified for you
and our delightful game we play again

My reward; your gifts
A ward to you
at beckoning call
My beacon
My lighthouse
The world had turned black
Living each day in horror
Pulled me from that abyss
only to throw me back in from time to time
but I bide my time
for the time in between
when I’m in between you
The taste of your kiss
A Utopian bliss
You retract
take it away
Like a fiend needing a fix
In agony I miss
No limit
Tear me limb from limb
Rip me apart and make me die in agony!
No price is too great
would pay anything
Give up Kingdoms
for this
Written: February 20, 2018

All rights reserved.

I'm re-releasing this. It was written a while ago and at some point I took it down (I honestly don't know why). I like it and thought I would share. Hopefully you enjoy it.
Lyrical Dream Sep 26
dear diary,

i flew today

and as my amethyst wings split the multicolored skies
and the golden cloud's kiss left the sweet taste of euphoria to bless by tongue

i flew,

the sun's warm glow bathing my features
as the sea below waved a wave as calm as the mighty screams of chaos

and, in return, i offered a sway of my hand.

i could feel the burn of icarus's ghostly eyes scorching my flesh as my arms reached to the beauty of heaven's flaming heart

and, finally,

i touched it.

it dripped like honey between my outstretched fingers,
puddling in the cracks of my skin,

ethereal,
golden,

it seeped into my bloodstream, breathing life into my dead veins and rhythm into my silenced chest.

it's warm touch trickled into my soul and
kissed my anxious thoughts into oblivion

and,
as i fell,

she whispered her name into the icy breeze.

"euphoria,"

the goddess spoke,

then,
something grabbed my wrist,

something darker than death,

something more silent than a corpse.

dear icarus,

is this how it feels?

to die a euphoric death at the hands of the sea's blissful waves

or, am i only suffering a godly insanity?
Casey Sep 25
Prompt: Explain the story behind a picture from your camera roll
(date of picture taken: August 30th, 2019)


The picture is a simple mirror selfie, but the story has more to do with what I was wearing.
Earlier that day, I went to the mall to shop for my homecoming outfit with
my friend, (REDACTED).
It seems trivial to someone else, I guess, but to me, it was a big deal.
It was because I could drive and because we were at the mall against
my dad's wishes that added to my nervousness of it all.
I went to the boy's section of the clothing store because I'm really short,
and (REDACTED) helped me pick out a suit.
My first suit.
Just wearing the suit jacket, I couldn't help but smile like an idiot.
It was so....right.
I don't know how else to explain it.
It was as if all those little pieces just fell into place and everything felt
all right.
For once, everything in that moment felt good and perfect.
I didn't care about the curious looks from the middle-aged moms.
I felt....euphoric?
Euphoric.
Gender euphoria.
love inspires us
but I rather choose
its euphoria
to its misery
07.23.19
I know you're not happy with me
This is sadly the truth

The euphoria of love is over
And I am the winner

I wish I could be different for you
The perfect lover as I pretended to be
08.25.19
Anastasia Aug 17
You are bliss
Definition of euphoria
Taste of never-ending perfect
Oh, how I wish you were mine
A kiss from you
Melting me
Into a pool of warm ice
And honey blossoms
Drowning me in dopamine
Flashes of adrenaline
Pulsing through my veins
Laced with sugar
And your perfume
Absolute perfection ❤
JasFow Aug 7
Watching shows like Euphoria
Zendaya’s character speaks wisdom
Years beyond me
It feels good and hurts at the same time
Listening to her talk about
Everything I’ve been through or I’m facing
What’s going to inevitably coming my way
A lot hurts
But so much is numb at the same time
I wish the one person I feel is my family
Doesn’t want to hug me when I need it the most
They have their reasons
I just wish they felt my ache when I don’t feel their touch
Each day that passes without the simplest thing
Pushes me more
Towards letting go of the wheel at full speed
Kids these days like to say “just send it”
I think about that a lot
Maybe then it’ll all hurt less
Hundreds of ants in my brain
I am floating in the air
I am escaping from my body
Deep and intense breath
He is taking control of my inner thoughts
I lose myself in his mouth and tongue
Heaven's doors wide open

Shine on you, crazy diamond

Naked every second of the night
Sobriety makes me see things different
He is my antidote and I'm afraid of him
When curiosity meets mystery
He knows that he shouldn't but
Euphoria of love above us
Magic powder makes us fly away together

Shine on you, crazy diamond

Please let me cry of fear
Slowly entering the cage of love
I can hear his heart beating from miles away
My mind is distraught and powerless
Butterflies in my stomach
Getting bigger and more numerous
Will they have enough space to fly freely?
07.24.19
Emir Jul 16
I love you to those who are still with me
I love you to those who are not
I love you for the lessons you’ve taught
I love you for what you have not
I love you for your companionship
I love you for a year of good memories
I love you for the blessings you’ve given me
I love you for being a part of my life
I love you for meaning something to me
I love you for our problems, for us working through them
I love you for your acceptance and respect
I love you for existing
thank you for being alive
friends. and friends who have become family.
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