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Max 3d
I was terrified,
But I’m my empty hands I hold freedom
In that I have nothing to lose
I have burnt all my bridges,
Lost everyone who cared about me
The fresh air doesn’t taste like freedom
It tastes like ash.

I was so scared,
But now I don’t feel anything at all.
There is nothing anyone can take from me
I promise, it’s already gone
This is not the perfect freedom I imagined,
My child, forever isn’t build upon dreams
The real ones don’t dream at all
Is this the only freedom I’ll ever know?
Max 3d
I told everyone I’m getting better
Told them I can see the sun
Makes it so much harder
When I let them down again
When I have to tell them about it all,
How it was never going to happen

Aren’t you sick of me?
Tired of my relapse?
Tell you I’m getting better,
Only to find a text from me
Talking about goodbye
Giving up on me is easy
Be free of my relapse

You want to see me
I’m to scared to go outside
This is the game we play
Pretend I’m ok
Until I’m not agin
This is the way it always works
This is my relapse
This is the game we play
WistfulHope Sep 2
don't worry baby it was just a game just a game i know how much you like those i know how much you like the pain and the tragedy and the mother ******* insanity why else would you talk to yourself so much why else would you **** everyone else as often as you **** yourself we know you're self aware don't play stupid even though you really are stupid if this is the game you choose rattling pills like dice hoping at least one of us will be nice but sorry sweetheart that's not how it's played no one loves you that's why none of them have ******* stayed but don't worry at least you have the voices in you head for ******* company i know playing the game is no fun when your alone so just keep tally until we're done and don't worry i won't tell any of them how much of you is really real and how much is pitch black sin you paint brightly to conceal baby don't cry when i'm here just because you want to die if you hate me so much then why don't you ever leave if you hate me so much then why do you garden with me if you hate me so much then why give me ******* roses you know i pluck the petals and watch them decompose baby why play the game if you can't stand to loose you don't have to stomach it if you choke yourself on ***** but that's never been you that's not the ******* good **** that you crave but drink it any way and choose any bottle for the chase baby it's so funny how sad you pretend to be when we both know the scary part is you don't feel a **** thing so let me help you remember how deep the losses can go baby just remember not to let them show
I'm not your ******* baby. ****.
Thomas W Case Aug 26
I take 3 steps forward, and 1 step back .
I was sober almost 4 months.

Doing swell, the job, prolific writing.
and then, wham, A bottle of Absinthe in two hours,
Not even Van Gogh on the box or the worm wood could
make sense of the garbled words I wrote.
**** Hemingway and Fitzgerald.  And Stein can go to Hell.
uselace Aug 12
Across the table
my grandpa asks me why
i don't eat cinnamon toast crunch anymore.
The last time i saw them
i loved it so much
that he tried it, and got hooked
but now i don't touch it.
And i don't know how to tell him
how to tell him
that the thought of all that sugar
paralyzes me.
So i just sit with my corn flakes,
avoid his eyes
and hope he doesn't notice
how desperately i wish i could eat it.
cinnamon toast crunch is objectively the best cereal
Armand Jun 8
Can't go to sleep again
This is when I miss c*caine
Or anything else
In my brain
In my veins
To numb the pain
Before I go insane

But I've come this far
Hanging by a thread
Looking for a missing star
One amongst the dead

I wish I could show you
The real person inside me
The things I truly can do
And who I can be

I've always been lurking
As well as searching
Through the darkness
Of my soul's promise

"We'll be united once more"
Oh how death I would adore
To melt down to my core
Or wash up cold ashore

See the expressions of apathy
And see mal-sympathy
I've broken and I've torn
Around me ever since I've born

I miss't to feel numb
I used to be so fun
Nowadays I've been shunned
From all that I want

So this' what I've become
Someone with seams undone
So I'd understand
If you'd reprimand
All that I am
And ever will be
For I'm only sand
Blowing away at sea
I see you in my dreams, your voice sounds so real, so true, so much... Here. Then I wake to you being nowhere
Morgan Vail Apr 17
Like the choir in heaven,
Like the death of my eleven,
Like the many who have tragically died.
There’s a devil over yonder,
And she’s getting a little closer,
And what’s the point,
If it’s not played,
In blue?

And the trees outside keep dying,
My shattered windows keep lying,
I keep myself alive like god sleeping on the seventh.
Stray cat, come back home.
You’ll step on glass if you roam.
God, what’s the point,
If I’m not there,
With you?
Zan Mar 30
Whats wrong with me?
Why do I feel like this...
Dropping to my knees....
and tears dropping down into an abyss...

Why can´t I just be normal?
and ¨buckle down¨ like other people.
I dont want to feel awful..
and I am just a *******.

I can´t get anything done
and I dont understand why.
This weight on me feels like a ton
and theres nobody nearby.

I hate myself because...
I dont understand myself...
why I do what i do..
why i feel the way i feel..
why i think my thoughts...
... the sharp edges control itself...
*singsongy* iiiiiiiiiii dont likeeeeeeeeee dEpPppPrEssSssSiOoOonNnn
Julia Celine Mar 15
Don't you miss the feel of it
Like rain against your skin?
Do you jolt the thoughts into your brain
To breathe them out again?

Do you raise your hand to sink down where
The burn becomes a cool?
And lay your heart to float out where
The drops become a pool?

Because I used to wrap myself up
In the comfort of no time
And indulge myself in the thought
That no one needs to be alive

Well for a while I was able to freeze
The hell inside my mind
And now I'm left to ponder
All the warmth beneath the ice...
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