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Jun 2021 · 903
Tied up
Wilder Jun 2021
*******
Staring in a mirror. Again
It makes me feel worse just to see

I braided my hair so neatly
Now it's falling apart at the seams

There's a comparison there
Let's not look into it

If I stick pins in
Tie up all the loose ends again

It'll look neater, sure
As long as you don't look too close

Cause there's a glittering metal barricade
Of a halfhearted hairstyle I tried to save
This has been sitting in my drafts for a bit now
#mirror #comparison #falling #braided #pins #loose #barricade #hairstyle #save #seams
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Mar 2021 · 5.1k
bad at flirting (but only with you)
Wilder Mar 2021
bad at flirting (but only with you)
You told me you'd never
flirted with a guy
I laughed
I told you my tricks

You smiled and I froze
because I suppose
I figured you'd realise
I've used them all on you
a short one.
be brave and maybe ask people out. flirting is just talking, but really nice. it's hella confusing.
#flirting #smile #girls #lgbtq #wlw #nblw
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Jan 2021 · 425
downhill
Wilder Jan 2021
downhill
I hit my peak so long ago
I was six, on top of the world
On top of the jungle gym,
Not that it was different.
But since then,
rolling downhill
.
um so I'm not gonna post that often anymore (not like I ever did, but) I got a ukelele and it inspired me to finally put music to the poems I write (which usually I have a tune in my head when I write them) I've been meaning to start writing music for a while, and I'm finally doing it :)
#six #downhill #different #world #alongtimeago
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Dec 2020 · 495
There
Wilder Dec 2020
There
Sometimes
when I look in the mirror
i'm startled to see
me

When
I scrub off the pen lines
odd bits of makeup
all that's left is me

I stand there
bare and trembling
these are the pieces of me
and maybe I'm starving

but at least
I can feel myself smiling
because
these are the marks of my survival
so this how I've gotten this far
#there #marks #survival #pieces #starving #smilinh
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Dec 2020 · 1.3k
The Perspective (alt. title "Makeup tutorial")
Wilder Dec 2020
The Perspective (alt. title "Makeup tutorial")
Sometimes,
when the face in the mirror isn't who I want it to be

and those thoughts,
those ******* disgusting worms crawling out of my brain,
to simply drive me insane

I think it's subconscious,
I never quite think it,
before the thought is reaching my hand

A little mascara
brush through my hair

(I want to feel pretty
again)

A dusting of powder
touch up my chapstick

(this face
THIS FACE ISN'T RIGHT
THIS ISN'T THE PERSON I WANT  TO BE-)

-
It's ok to be.
-

Switch up the perspective:


I Will fix my issues,
one brush at a time

A swipe of lipstick
layer eyeshadow

Please don't clump, mascara
Add some concealer

(I NEED TO FIX
THE VOICES IN MY HEAD)

Some brow gel
Some eyeliner.

Top it off
With a



[[I hear voices say,
voices far away
"say cheese!" click]]


I-
I'll be O.K.
someday.
and hey, you made it this far, smile! :)
#ptsd #perspective #makeup #mirror #insane #thoughts #pretty #right #person #makeuptutorial
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Dec 2020 · 730
Long after
Wilder Dec 2020
Long after
You told me I broke you
That you fell apart
Without me you were wreckage
Broken bits of a heart

And then you moved on
You found some new parts
Started making the repairs
Built your own heart

Tell me is it wonderful
To be whole again
The guilt has destroyed me
Long after you didn't
I'm tired of writing about you
I'm tired of wanting to love you
#breakup #heart #wreckage #broken #repairs #wonderful #guilt #destroyed #you #after
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Dec 2020 · 1.3k
this
Wilder Dec 2020
this
this is me
screaming into
the void
a whisper
i am deserving and worthy of love

this is me
constructing pieces
of boundaries
i can't put up yet

this is me
speaking words
that are not lies

this is me
preparing for the worst

this is self-preservation
im tired of biting my tongue
i can't wait to leave this town
#selfpreservation #screaming #deserving #worthy #love #boundaries #words #lies #worst #me
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Nov 2020 · 427
to my best friend
Wilder Nov 2020
to my best friend
hey i heard you are doing better
im glad
for you

im not doing better
it's worse


im tired of drawing lines on my arm
running out of time all along

they told me it'd be ok
well what if everyone was wrong

?

do you still need me

you sent me a post
"send this to the person that saved your life, even if they didn't know it"

im glad you're better
im glad i could help

but dear god i'm still falling apart
she has anxiety. i have anxiety (plus gender and sexuality issues~)
she's getting a therapist. i still can't talk to another person about my mental health without breaking down.

i am getting better though. it's a process, but it's coming along.

11-6-20
#depression #better #bff #healing #mentalhealth #need #saved #help #falling #apart
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Nov 2020 · 3.8k
Genderfluid (not female)
Wilder Nov 2020
Genderfluid (not female)
I know my face is feminine
I know everyone 'knows' I'm a girl
I know in this confusing christian society
You have to keep to the binary

And so I don't expect them
To look at me
And say "He"

But just once
Maybe they'll hesitate
Before saying "She"
That could be enough
#genderfluid #feminine #binary #he #she #them #hesitate
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Nov 2020 · 2.1k
A windy day
Wilder Nov 2020
A windy day
I wrote a poem into the wind
Improvisational melody
And promptly forgot it
I think the wind kept it
Unrelated:
um you might have noticed I changed my gender. This is a kinda new thing, and I can't promise it'll never change again. (but then, changing is kinda the point, genderFluid)
but yeah. :)
#poem #wind #melody #forgot #kept #windy #day #genderfluid
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Nov 2020 · 649
Reconnected
Wilder Nov 2020
Reconnected
I forgot how much I missed you
Until we started talking again
I've been through lots of painful things
But not many compare to losing a friend

You texted me a week ago
You tried to apologize
It wasn't your fault
(You liked looking in my eyes)

Said you found this jacket
In the picture, it reminded
Me of a 80s quilt
I said you should get it, you did

Adults keep pulling on our sleeves
Telling us to grow up
Keep only what you need
Well I needed connection
And I needed a friend
You were running low on those too
Maybe life's out to get us
Maybe they just don't care
I know it's easier
If I have you there
Alt. title: The aftermath of "Cut off"

I'm glad we're friends again
#missed #friend #apologize #jacket #texts #growup #connection #easier #cutoff #again
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Nov 2020 · 2.4k
Recovery (or "a collection of thoughts from a cold")
Wilder Nov 2020
Recovery (or "a collection of thoughts from a cold")
I think the funny thing
It's not the
Staying in bed for days
Awake and then
Sleeping in few
Hour increments

(and certainly not the night I woke up at two
to the sound of the darkness
how I could hear it whispering my name
I didn't fall asleep until I saw the sun)

but
I think the funny thing
Is how even after days in bed
My every need passed over on a platter
(From six feet away)
Recovery is not a steep *****

Over a week, and I'm still hacking up phlegm
(I realize that's disgusting to picture
Trust me, tasting it is worse)

Oh, so I should be grateful
"It's not covid, so you're fine"
(Not that I got tested,
I have a sensitive nose
It bleeds very easily.
Decided it was safer to stay home)

"I'm sorry, but we have to cancel
Thanksgiving.... No, we don't think we're contagious, but we want to be sure.... Thank you for understanding!"

My sister was showing symptoms
The strep test was negative
A doctor says it was allergies

That's nice, but a 99.8
Isn't allergies

So yes
The funny thing
Is the recovery
But only because there doesn't seem to be any of it.
words tumbling in my head got too loud again.
stay safe guys
wear a mask
don't get sick, it *****
#sick #sleeping #sixfeet #recovery #covid #cold #fever #nose #symptoms #alone
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Oct 2020 · 896
I'm hurting
Wilder Oct 2020
I'm hurting
And I'm hurting
And I'm collapsing in on myself
And I just don't want to hurt you

I want to shield you
From a world you're accustomed to
I want to protect you
From things that you've already seen

Because maybe you've been around the world a thousand times
And maybe you've already been cut into pieces
But I haven't
And maybe
Maybe you're the one protecting me

Clasping my hands with yours when I get nervous
Holding me close and hugging me till I want to breathe again

So please, let me stand in front of you
I'll take the brunt of the blow
And I'll know you'll be there to catch me
It's a little bit of love and mostly coming home to you.
#hurting #protect #shield #world #cut #hug #holding #breate #catch #home
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Sep 2020 · 444
Living
Wilder Sep 2020
Living
The smell of the ocean
The all consuming stench
Salt and sweat and maybe
Something along the lines of freedom

Water and sand and seaweed
Twisting and tying knots
Around feet and ankles

Blinding stunning light
Piercing and painful sunlight
...



Tasting salt and tears
A cold sweat
Blankets twisted around ankles
The dark stifling heat of night
...

I miss living
I've noticed that the more vague and chaotic my poetry is, the more people see and react to them. I think that's interesting, and it makes me really happy when people like my poems.
(Written 8-18-20)
#ocean #salt #freedom #water #sand #seaweed #sunlight #tears #sweat #night
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Sep 2020 · 248
I suppose
Wilder Sep 2020
I suppose
I'm falling. And if
I tell the world I am down
No one will help me

I suppose it's sad
Tragic. lying on the floor
But surely I fell

Of my own doing
So I must stay here broken
And very lonely
Depression from repressed emotions I guess
#tragic #falling #world #help #floor #broken #lonely
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Sep 2020 · 337
To love you
Wilder Sep 2020
To love you
Please, tell me to love you again
For I will
I will love you with every breath
Like I'm a dying star and
You are the brightest light

Please tell me you love me again
And mean it
Love me with every one of
Your broken pieces and
I will love with every one of mine

Please don't walk away
Without saying goodbye
My heart is fragile
And it wants to love you
Yet I don't want to let it

So please give me a reason
Tell me it's ok to love you
im feeling really emotional and I don't like it. And there's too many words inside of me so I don't know where to start writing. This is a start though.
#love #you #breath #light #broken #goodbye #heart #fragile #reason #ok
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Sep 2020 · 313
It's A
Wilder Sep 2020
It's ***
A repeating line of patterns of something deeper then memory
It's the motion of waves of wonder of maybe something like pain
A wanting to lessen to soften to gently lay my head down
It's not what's happening now
This feels unfinished, but I suppose most things do.
#its #*** #line #motion #wanting #not #now #wonder #pain
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Aug 2020 · 602
the waiting
Wilder Aug 2020
the waiting
Reached a point
Now it's just the waiting
Stay in line
Stay behind
Just the waiting
Sure ok
Swear in my face
It's not my place
It's a point
Soon it'll be revealed
And everyone will see
Who's really me
But for now
Just the waiting.
(I don't want to call it hiding)
There's a point
You're getting there
(I'm already past it)
But I'm ok with
Just waiting
Um the last 2 lines say i'm ok with waiting but I'm getting really sick of it.
#waiting #wait #line #behind #ok #swear #face #place #point #hiding
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Aug 2020 · 361
Scared of the dark
Wilder Aug 2020
Scared of the dark
Say it's ok
To admit
Fears and feelings and I'm kind of freaking out
Maybe I'm still scared of the dark
I've never had that peace
A walk in the park
When it gets dark

Can you
Please stay
For emotional confessions and awkward conversations
Maybe it's ok to trust you
When someone loves you
You don't have to be
Scared of the dark

Promise we
Can dance in the dark

By the light of the moon
You and I spinning slowly
A waltz
A dip
The softest kiss

Maybe we will be alright

When morning comes
If you're by my side
Everything will be fine
Promise to stay
Don't ever stray
I think
We'll be ok

And sometimes I'll be lost
Sometimes you will too
It's dark at night
Hold my hand
And it's all ok

Maybe we will be alright
Uhh this is pretty sweet and I don't know where it came from but I'm not complaining.
#dark #fear #alright #hold #love #promise #feeling #peace #stay #dance
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Aug 2020 · 574
Cut off
Wilder Aug 2020
Cut off
Heartbeat
Racing pressure
Under my fingers

Good God I'm tired

Loaded
Bullets ready
It wasn't me

Drown
Down in the shadows
Deeper then our last talk

Blaming
It won't get you far
Push me away, ok

Toxic
I guess it was me
Radio silence



I miss our last talk
I wrote 2 poems about this, but the other one's overwhelming so here's this. It's calmer, I think.
#cutoff #me #heartbeat #deep #shadows #blame #toxic #radiosilence
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Aug 2020 · 2.5k
catalyst
Wilder Aug 2020
catalyst
It's like a catalyst
Where I'm running out of words
Because the words I can't say
Aren't there
It's the
Feeling old while I'm drinking coffee
Feeling young absorbed into a book

Almost feeling me when I
Reach that space
In between

There's a moment staring at the tv
Excited because someone got kissed
Seconds when I write a sentence
Knowing it's nonsense
But there's a pause
And falling to one side
(My back acting up)
(Giggling while I run)

Searching for a domestic peace
Being pushed to the side
Searching for

Growing up
Maybe

It's hard

Tensions that shouldn't exist
Tensions that aren't seen by anyone else
Pulling away in an effort to walk the line
Searching for a balance
In between the tension

It feels like a catalyst
Like something I don't know yet
#catalyst #tension #balance #walk #peace #words #old #young #between #growingup
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Aug 2020 · 460
Break
Wilder Aug 2020
Break
Something inside is
It's almost going to
There aren't words for the pull
about to Snap

Unknown explosion
Without explanation
Not sure how to loosen the threads
it's Breaking

What to do
Who's taking the bullet
My fault my bomb it doesn't turn off

sorry
It's going to hurt me
more then it already hurts you
Music usually helps. Writing nonsense helps more.
#snap #break #breaking #explosion #threads #bullet #bomb #hurt
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Aug 2020 · 400
Dear girl from my dreams
Wilder Aug 2020
Dear girl from my dreams
I want to write something
For you

I keep dreaming of you

I heard that one's mind can't make up a face so everyone you seen is someone you've seen

I hope I'll see you again

I remember how your hair fell over your shoulder
When you grabbed my arm

I remember kissing you
How it felt like light exploding
When our lips met

I remember your smile was the first thing I saw
My only thought was to hold you tighter
Before I woke up
Light still warming my lips
Hufhokhfugbvkvkkf Women-
#dream #girl #kiss #light #face #smile #wlw #women #lips
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Aug 2020 · 471
Quiet trembling
Wilder Aug 2020
Quiet trembling
Hey
I didn't realize this was
What it's like

Sitting
Next to you
And you're trembling
It's quiet

You know,
Your boyfriend came to get me
Told me in a hushed voice
"[She's] having an anxiety attack"

I paled
I should've researched what to do
But I sat there
Next to you

He handed you a rabbit
I remember you giggled
When it tried to eat your necklace

It was quiet
Soft smiles and trembling
I couldn't help you
I didn't know how to reach you

I didn't know that this
This is what it's like
I've seen this

Quiet
Trembling
Deep gasping breaths for air
That doesn't help

Quiet
Thinking
(I have to go)
(I've had this)
(I had gotten worse)
(Panic attacks)
(Anxiety attacks?)
I feel like sobbing

It's quiet
You smile
We both pet the rabbit
You stop trembling
I don't.
My friend had a really bad anxiety attack recently and I just remember watching her and thinking "if this is really bad, then what are mine?"
#quiet #trembling #smile #panicattacks #anxiety #attack #panic
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Aug 2020 · 219
Positive
Wilder Aug 2020
Positive
Please give me something sweet
Something nice
There's not much of that in my life

I hope for the positive
Only do the negative
It's nice to see flowers untainted
(This was in my drafts. The date on this was Aug. 2019. kinda seems finished though and I like it so I'm posting it)
#positive #negative #flowers #nice #untainted #sweet #life
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Aug 2020 · 3.1k
I will be me (soon)
Wilder Aug 2020
I will be me (soon)
Tell me your secrets
Don't worry, I'll keep it
After all, I've managed to keep my own

Boys are noticing me
Could a girl maybe notice me
Instead?

Yes I know I'm pretty
(I'm gorgeous actually) No,
My shirt doesn't give you permission
To stare at my hips

Stunning
Iconic
Wish she
Would cover up

Get your eyes off my face
Get out go away

Stunning
Iconic
A modern
Temptress

- call me a ****
I dare you

Give me a crop top
Clean eyeliner
This is only to prove
None of you deserve me

Call this an exaggeration
Complete exploitation
A collection of not-quites
Piled into a finished
Song

So I'm sorry for trying
To fix in the bubble
It wasn't a bubble
But a box

Don't tell me you love me
You can't possibly love me
You don't even know me
I'm just a face for
Your ideals

I don't agree with you
"We're still friends after this,
Right?"
-
Gods no

Does God know

How you hate his creation

?
-
"Yes, of course we are!"

Bite your tongue
You don't have time
To drop these people in
Your past

Keep friends close
Keep others closer
Wait until you're older

Can I possibly wait any
Longer
Anyway. This is a complete disaster
(I'm starting to notice a pattern, poems about girls are short and sweet, poems about boys are messy, incoherent and inconsistent)
Also the title is supposed to be a play on "boys will be boys" but it's kinda subtle idk how I feel about it yet.
#boys #secrets #gorgeous #stunning #deserve #exaggeration #box #love #friends #wait
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Aug 2020 · 532
How can something so beautiful be a sin
Wilder Aug 2020
How can something so beautiful be a sin
Sometimes I wonder
How someone could ever call something so incredibly beautiful
A sin

Check your bible my friend
Your translation is twisted
We're all sinners

Equal in the eyes of God

Did you forget
His entire thing
Is loving us All

So say it's a sin. Tell the world how you hate us
(Hate is a sin)
Say you're not one of "those homophobic people"
But tell me it's wrong
Right to my face

My friend, you've become
My enemy
But I will love you
(God says that's something we all should do)

So I will pray earnestly
For the day
You realize I'm "one of those awful sinners"
And maybe you too
Will understand and accept my God
(Because he accepts and loves Everyone)

Until then,
I won't tell you if I get a girlfriend
(But I swear I'll love her)

And I'll expose your children
To all the "horrors of this earth"
(Because I believe they're beautiful)
And really, how could anyone call something so beautiful
a sin
"Love covers a multitude of sins" (:
(Also this is the fourth poem I've posted today? I think? So oops didn't mean to spam, just have a lot of feelings today) :D
#love #homosexuality #homophobia #girlfriend #beautiful #pray #god #sin #sinners #bible
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Aug 2020 · 802
I thought I was done with you
Wilder Aug 2020
I thought I was done with you
I.
I got
So ******* hung up on you
The highs, the lows
Everything was you

So far
I was completely smitten
Every word was lyrical
Everything was you

II.
And I
I thought I had moved on
From all the pain you left me with
But still I saw
Everything was you

III.
Do you remember, how my friends
Were your friends
And our friends always spoke of how
Great we were

Do you remember, how my friends
Weren't your friends
The second I said it was over

They still say how
I can do so much better then him (you)
I'm a thousand times better then him
(Everything is still you)

But in the aftermath
Before their questions were answered
They still spoke of how
Wonderful we are
We were

So I'm sure they're lying to me
Do your friends lie to you
About me too?
Do you still have friends, after
I took our friends
And made them mine?

IV.
I called it a
Mutual ghosting
That neither of us wanted us
But I really thought you wanted us
I still don't know why you let me go
But I said I wanted to let you go

My friends asking me who I like
And I Have moved on from you
Surely I'm done with you by now

V.
I've started seeing girls in the street
God they're beautiful
(Like you were
Two, three years ago?)
Girls are pretty

I thought you were pretty
I thought I was done
I thought I was fine with the way we left us
I still write about you
Surely I'm not done with you

VI.
Sometimes I wonder if I ever really liked you
Or if I just wanted to be your friend
And my friends called it affection
I'm not really sure

VII.
I know I could've loved you
We were perfect in every way
Except I didn't have any trust or love
Because I was scared of going too fast
We were comets
If we got to close surely we'd collide

I want to be done with you
There's empty pages in front of me
I'm ready to write on them
As soon as your ghost leaves me
Please leave me
I want to be done with you
I want to move on
We were barely an us
How does that warrant this obsession
With how beautiful it was to talk with
You
A collection of scattered thoughts about the only person I've ever solely written multiple poems about.
#done #you #him #almost #us #pain #friends #girls #pretty #comets
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Aug 2020 · 862
sorry for trying
Wilder Aug 2020
sorry for trying
Someone told me to stop asking for attention
I wasn't asking for attention
but for help.

So I deleted my ambition
I sat still and just listened to what they said.

A pathetic excuse for a person calling people, normal beautiful people
Pathetic excuses for people

Holding my breath
Count to ten
Stop trying to get so much attention

I'll keep apologizing for trying to be me
So I'm sorry I don't fit in your box
I'm sorry for what I didn't think was wrong

Hold my breath
Holding till you can't breathe
Maybe that will teach you

Someone told me to stop.
But you were the one that told me to start.

And god if you tell me to shut up ever again-
I'll probably just apologize

Maybe it's not right
Maybe it's not fair
Maybe you should be the one sitting here hurting
Maybe I ought to tell you that it hurts when you say those things.

But you probably won't care
You'll slam the door right there
Slam the door in my face
Tell me I'm such a disgrace

So I'll apologize
To you
For bringing me into this world.
Because I deserve better parents then you
This got kinda out of hand, and it's because of a lot more people then just them.
#stop #asking #attention #people #normal #apologize #breathe #hurt
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Aug 2020 · 5.7k
a girl
Wilder Aug 2020
a girl
I wanna meet a girl
A girl who will hold my hand
Tell me
"it's ok to love"
And "don't be afraid of love"
"even if you've been hurt by love before."

I wanna meet a girl
To share my secrets with
Forbidden feelings with
Is it ok if sometimes I'm just Them
"please hold my hand
forever"

I wanna meet a girl
Late at night
we will stare at the Stars
She'll tell me
"it's ok to love"
And when her lips meet mine I won't pull away
Um I'm still alive. As you might have noticed by me posting.
bye for now!!
#love #girls #holdinghands #secrets #stars #kiss
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Sep 2019 · 433
Darling child
Wilder Sep 2019
Darling child
Darling child,  take off your blinds and see
Perfect child,  look at all the things you could be
Worried child,  you don't need to hold your future yet
Broken child,  please take the knife away from your skin
Lost child,  take my hand we can find a way
Damaged child,  I swear everything will be ok
You might not be a child but they'll still always treat you that way
Teenagers aren't children. They're becoming adults and if you treat them like a child they won't grow up
#darling #perfect #worried #broken #lost #damaged #child
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Aug 2019 · 284
Stitched together
Wilder Aug 2019
Stitched together
I had stitched every hole
Every worn down place
Yes, I was perfectly flawed
But I was sewn tight together

The waves could come
Shake me if they could
But my stitching stayed strong
I thought it always would

There's something new
Hunting me down
Sharp sharp claws
My stitches fall to the ground

Like a torrent of rain
Just enough to crack open
The floodgates

I am lost in the river and I can't see the ground
Praying for a hand to reach out but I won't make a sound
I feel like everything is great
Except I've had more panic attacks in the last week then the rest of my life?
And like I just don't want people to think i'm trying to 'be cool' cause 'everyone has anxiety sometimes you aren't special' but like, hahaha a therapist would be nice.
#anxiety #stitched #hole #perfectlyflawed #floodgates #lost #ground #stitchedtogether
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Jul 2019 · 279
"Do you even have a heart?"
Wilder Jul 2019
"Do you even have a heart?"
You said I couldn't understand
You said my heart couldn't even feel
You said I could never love anyone

Unfortunately
I do.
And I do know how it feels to be
Torn
Apart
Because I couldn't control what someone had taken out of my hands

But I've never told you
The way it was
The tension spiking as the question
Popped out of his mouth
We were young
Still are
But
My heart
Is growing old
Of the feelings it cannot hold

I. Refuse to admit it
I. Never will
Because I said no
And he turned away
I still see him now and then
But I built a wall between us
All cause I didn't want to see his
Blood
On my hands

In a twisted game
Of telephone
I never meant to start
He heard
"I love you"
But I'd said
"I used to"
And from that moment on
It was a tangled loom
On which we wove
A tapestry of feuds

I still see him now and then
But I built a wall between us
And nothing will ever be
The same
Idk what to say about this one. I wrote it a couple months ago
#heart #walls #love #apart #control #hands #young #feelings #blood
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Jul 2019 · 980
Loved the left
Wilder Jul 2019
Loved the left
It gets cold at night
I close my eyes
Try to see
The loved ones who've left me
Faces growing dim
Tears creep
Down my cheek where they seldom
Fall
Fists clenched
Heart tight
For its been
Too many a night
Since I've seen
How their eyes shine

Too many to count
With one hand
Forgotten memories fade away
To return in a frightening manner
Unexpected
Dead people like trying to haunt me, I guess.
#night #eyes #loved #faces #dim #tears #cheek #fall #fists #shine
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Jul 2019 · 410
Run child
Wilder Jul 2019
Run child
Run fast dear Child
for far too soon,
Fire will rain
and Heaven will come crashing down to Earth
I recently had a friend almost commit suicide (he's much better and going to therapy now) but it just hurts to be shaken awake to the darkness this world is becoming
#run #child #fast #fire #rain #heaven #earth #friend #hurt #darkness
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Jul 2019 · 226
Return again
Wilder Jul 2019
Return again
It's been a while
Dear old friend
But I wish
To open you again
My mind has been emptied
Into the fold of my notebooks
Instead of here
For over a year
So one may hope
That I've grown
As I return
Again
I forgot about HP for so long and it just helped me through some really dark stuff...
So yeah. Ok, now watch me close this and forget about it for a couple months lol
#returning #again #yay
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Aug 2018 · 427
Invincible
Wilder Aug 2018
Invincible
Give me a choice
One immunity
It will not be
Pain

I still need
Something to remind me
I'm still just a mortal
Need saving

If
I gave you
The choice
To live or
Die
You would choose live
But I would choose die

Cause I don't know
What's going on
But I want to know
I'm not immune
To reality

Throw me away
I'll bounce right back
This home I've made
I know won't last

I just
Don't want
To be
Invincible
Once, one of my friends convinced a little kid I was a superhero. I hated it. Cause, I'm not actually one! If I was, I could've done something, I could've saved people. People that are now DEAD!
So yeah. I would love being a hero, but they aren't real. So I just keep moving on.
#immunity #pain #mortal #live #die #reality #throw #invincible #home
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Aug 2018 · 464
My worlds below
Wilder Aug 2018
My worlds below
My face,
Sitting above
A collision of worlds

One, heartless, cold and empty of love
Waiting until the knife can plunge
Deep into an enemy's soul

Another, sad, full of depression
Wondering when it all
Will end

Yet another, sits on the water's edge
Playing with the waves
But stuck on a cloud

The next, with a sword at hand
Charging through the enemy's land
Ambition coursing through its veins

One is sitting on a throne of glass
Fantasy running free
Imagination the king and queen

There is still more, smaller lives
They lead me, day to day
As they sit below
A poker face
Where
Happiness
Plays pretend
A lot of my "worlds" are characters I've written about that I put a piece of me in, and it gives me a life back.
#world #love #knife #soul #depression #water #sword #throne #king #queen
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Jul 2018 · 305
left
Wilder Jul 2018
left
You said you would always be there
Always means forever

So where are you now?
#left #always #forever #where #you #now
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Jul 2018 · 495
Shoot
Wilder Jul 2018
Shoot
A single shot to the head
Bam
All it takes to be dead
#shot #shoot #head #bam #dead #single
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Jul 2018 · 2.8k
Bother to care
Wilder Jul 2018
Bother to care
If I were to **** someone
Without all these witnesses
Someone without family
Who didn't know another being

If that person was dead
Would anyone notice

Maybe if it was an accident
Maybe if I hid the body
Maybe no one would ever know
Would ever care
Would ever want to know,
To care,
About a person
Who had had a life
It was a lonely life
Probably a sad life

But would anyone bother to care?
And what if it were me
#**** #witnesses #family #dead #notice #accident #body #know #care #person
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Jul 2018 · 676
Try
Wilder Jul 2018
Try
Look around and see
People who don't have
Everything that they need right now

Then look at the ones
With guns in our schools
Taking others with them in suicide

So just feel free
To sit there in your chair
Doing whatever you could possibly want

Without checking to see
Where your children went
After they told you that they felt depressed

Yes I know this world
Is still messed up
But could it possibly hurt to try
#look #people #need #guns #suicide #free #chair #children #world #try
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Jul 2018 · 389
Let go
Wilder Jul 2018
Let go
Don't try to be deceiving
Even when the end is near
Just keep on believing
And refuse to show them fear

You can't hold on past your time

You only have so long a line

Strive to stay
Sure to go
Please just stop
Let go
#end #fear #believing #time #you #line #stay #go #stop #please
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Jun 2018 · 260
Fate
Wilder Jun 2018
Fate
Fate lying within
A destiny woven by stars
Trapped and hidden from us
Forced to follow out the course already made
But we all have a choice
To break from the cage
Nothing is written in stone
Just what others choose to believe
I will step out of my trap
I will be who I choose
None can take my freedom from me
It's who I am inside
It's free to be a believer
Choosing who you are inside
But to some the price might be heavy
The Fate is yours to take
#fate #cage #trap #destiny #believe #freedom #choice
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Jun 2018 · 359
Help
Wilder Jun 2018
Help
Someone help me
Help the world
These people, stop them
They're tearing it apart

Someone help me
Help the world
It's falling down
Can't you feel it

Someone help me
Help the world
The echos of a failure
Ring louder ev'ry day

Someone help me
Help the world
Nothing can stand if there's nothing holding it up.
#help #me #world #people #stop #falling #feel #echos #ring #day
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Jun 2018 · 415
Untitled
Wilder Jun 2018
Untitled
And though the memories run deep
There are promises I can't keep

The waves of fortune they run high
They ebb and flow with the tide

The strongest warrior couldn't stand
Against the rushing of the sand

Though wonders far and wide may roam
Nothing beats the comforts of home
#memories #promises #fortune #tide #warrior #stand #sand #wonder #home
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May 2018 · 1.8k
Stray knife
Wilder May 2018
Stray knife
"Love others"
But,
If my heart
Is exposed,
Any stray knife
Could fly right
Through it
#love #heart #knife
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