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As I feel like a man, every emotion is slower and is more potent.
As I feel like a man, everything changed.
As I feel like a man, I feel the responsibilities of being a man.
As I feel like a man, I feel content yet I also feel a pain in my ribs.
As I feel like a man, I feel euphoric.
As I feel like a man, everything is new yet I feel like that feeling have always been with me.
As I feel like a man, I can finally describe the peace I feel when one of my friends wants to know more about my pronouns and what I prefer. I am keeping my full name. Considering I am a gender fluid woman I am keeping both parts of me: My feminine body and my masculine heart.
As I feel like a woman, every emotion rushing towards me.
As I feel like a woman, nothing changed.
As I feel like a woman, I feel the responsibilities of being a woman.
As I feel like a woman, I feel content yet I also feel a pain in my chest.
As I feel like a woman, I can feel people staring at me wondering what gender I am.
As I feel like a woman, I know what people expect of me and I dress like a tomboy. Which they don't expect.
I have always felt different in a lonely way.
My church friends will never understand me or accept me.
I don't know why I keep going to church. I guess it is a habit.
A habit that appeases my mom but not me. The moment I walk into church it is like I am on autopilot. It is as though I am looking into someone else's life not mine. I know I grew up in that church but it doesn't feel like me anymore. I know what my church friends expect of me but I know I am not like them.
I am this boyish looking girl that is proud of who they are as a person. My religion doesn't define me. I define me.
I have a small support system now but I feel amazing.
I don't have to hide who I am around my dad, little sister and older brother because they accept me for who I am.
Tomboy to Boy, one small step at a time I am becoming more me.
Tomboy to Boy, I am a gender fluid woman who is going to take down the gender norms through masculine fashion.
Sure people are already confused what gender I am already and when people think I am a guy it makes me happy.
Tomboy to Boy, I am free.
I am a gender fluid woman.
I normally dress like a tomboy.
Most of the time I feel like a guy.
The thing is I don't know how to explain the lonely different feeling.
The times I feel like a girl are weddings and classy church events.
I am like a grandfather clock, the pendulum swings from one side to next but time goes by.
All my life this lonely different feeling have haunted me. The thing is I am not alone anymore. When I was on cross country in high school I was only tomboy ******* the cross country team. The rest of the girls dressed feminine and really girly. I hung out with the guys on the guys cross country team growing up. I didn't like the segregation of guys and girls. It confused me, the segregation of guys and girls. I have always felt like one of the guys. I have very few friends that are girls. The rest of my friends are guys. All my life I have myself the question, "What the hell is wrong with me?"
Now I know there is nothing wrong with me. I was just trapped in this heteronormative way of thinking for so long but never conformed to it because not only I am bisexual but I am gender fluid too. Gender isn't a straight line divided through the middle but a pendulum swinging from one side to the next as time ticks by. I am not the only gender fluid in the world. And I refuse to conform to society's choose one gender way of the thinking. Gender isn't black and white thinking. Gender is multiple shades of gray.
I don't always feel like a woman.
I look like a woman but I don't always feel like one.
Some days I am a woman. Other days I am a man. My body doesn't change but how I feel does.
Some days I am both man and woman. I feel this way all the time.
I realize all those times I grew up with panic attacks. I was panicking about how I was expressing my gender not about my homework.
I am a gender fluid, bisexual woman.
I am not afraid to admit it now.
birdy May 2022
I'm crying for a girl who never existed.
One who failed but always persisted,
to try and figure out
what makes one woman.
these thoughts about gender felt like a shout,
but this 'girl' was still figuring it out.
Now this person mourns the loss,
of this gender that felt like an albatross.
Kole J McNeil Dec 2021
He
Long hair
Long brown hair
Long soft brow hair

Blue eyes
Blue soft eyes
Blue sad eyes

Pretty dress
Pink pretty dress
Flowery pink pretty dress

A chest
A chest so full
A chest so beautifl

Scissors
Scissors on pretty long har
chop, Chop, CHOP

Blue eyes
Teary blue eyes
Relived blue eyes

A hoodie
A hoodie and black jeans
Black ripped jeans and a band T

A chest
A chest in pain
Chest wrapped flat to body

she, She, SHE
Thats what they see
They will never see their son
I wish I was a boy with short fluffy hair and a flat chest and a deep voice
birdy May 2021
You cannot frame the oceans waves.
Forever changing,
vibrant blue -- ever-changing into deeper shades of understanding.
A never changing struggle between the sand and the water.
I am the ocean -- blue.
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