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Sofia Von Jul 2014
So tired yet so awake
I sit at the edge of an ellipsis
crimping the charred innards of my tattered soul
to make a masterpiece of gore
and internal war.
over the years of self loathing
I finally love myself
but getting ****** up feels ****** perfect
and watching this world unfold anew with each hit
or shot
rocks my mind
unkind but exemplary in it's own fortitude
to prevail my own veils
aside they're cast and fumbled with
as thick smiles seed
and the pace is set for the evening
I can't help but think that leaving
could do me good
but who backs out before the last shot?
who leaves before the deafening toll of midnight?
Cinderella's umbrella of security
and purity
is at jeopardy
and with great haste she wastes away the good looks
for late night *****
and nicotine
forgetting to clean
her closet of supreme validity on
the functioning teen
trying not to be mean,
but completely obscene in gestures
with the barbie's manufacturers groping for caspers
in the utopian disasters of the girl they forged
many decades back, but lost track
of the track that played that summer night
in the moonlight of immaculate humor and love
above all the oozing essence that manifested
now tested, for virtual ******
your cerebellum will tellem the positive
credo
that we all know is hooked on the days drift wood with
byzantine benzodiazapines to guide her haunted spirit
till
the cracks turn to crevasses and prehistoric protons mate with electrons
in the vat that is abrewing to plot the lies
watch the skies fade to grey as it may
be about time for the ecliptic rhymes to find
reconciliation
in the bladed grains of mortality and sigh
for being high in this lowered juncture
of subsisting future
buys you time to mull over such a daydream
as your last breath
flowers that climb to tickle the bottoms of your feet,
falling just to pick yourself up and do it again.
swirl of no-worries, no cloud of darkness
***** hands, messy hair.
something good before the bad
Sonia 6d
I miss the days....
When all I had to do
Was scream your name
And I would know that
You would be there
In less than a second
Because you would never leave my side

I miss the days...
When all I had to do
Was say I had a nightmare
And I would use that as an excuse
To cuddle with you
In bed

But
Those days are gone
And now I have to wait
For you to show up
You tell me that
I'm old enough to face my fears

But
I don't think
You realize
That I'm growing up
And I need you the most
Because I'm facing
Everything I'm introduced to
Alone.
Sometimes, you don't want to grow up
Age
She was a kid struggling in with her
'adulthood',
And he was an adult caged in 'childhood'.
Ke-caster Dec 8
I sometimes look at myself and worry
That inside i'm always going to be that awkward kid
The one who grew up into his face
But cant seem to grow up into his mind
how can you forget,
what made up so many years?
ditch the regret;
the unnecessary tears.

it hits you sort of sudden,
when you're perhaps unprepared.
looking at a memory,
and the joy you shared.

the tug on your heart-string,
the shortness of breath.
this isn't a sad thing-
yet it feels like a death.

a grieving of pastimes,
a reminder of youth.
they stick like nursery rhymes,
the don't give the truth.

who would've guessed
that these ****** things began a
childish quest
now it's bittersweet nostalgia
Rin Dec 3
It’s that moment,
when you realise that;
your father’s words-
didn’t make sense.
your mother’s worries-
had no weight.

it’s the fear.
that you are above them-
your past heroes,
or enemies

it’s the guilt.
that you start to correct them,
as if you were smarter.
as if you were older.

they punish you for it,
“you are only a child!”
the words ring in your brain,
and they seem to be true.

so this realisation.
this new light of dawn,
has to be covered away.

a silent acknowledgement,
of all growing children in the world.
Others may call this realisation, rebellion.
Megan Dec 2
I saw my ex today
after planning out a day to get away to see him. After he told me he'd be in state for the weekend.
And I refuse to say I missed him.

I saw my ex today
after six years of rebuilding myself. After we couldn't make it work when we were so young.
And I refuse to say I still care.

I saw my ex today.
after already being in a new relationship for two years. After my current boyfriend finally told me he feels comfortable with me. And I refuse to say I did the wrong thing.

I saw my ex today.
after writing poem after poem referring to the love we used to have. After I found new life and new love in a new man.
And I refuse to let myself go back down that road.

I saw my ex today.
And after all this time he missed me more than I missed him.
And I refuse to be that little and naive girl again.
I saw my ex, he wasn't just my ex. he was my first everything and he was my best friend. He moved away and it was really ******* both of us. I snuck away for a day to go see him i drove for 2 hours to see him. I drove crying and cursing myself. Why was I doing this? I needed closure. And I finally feel like I have that... Closure.
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