School as now finished
Summer holidays are here
My son is happy


<3 xx

My skin looks old, i feel it in my bones
I am growing weary, can you hear me
Can you give my eyes the gleam, can you help me sleep and dream
Can you bring back smiles, memories playing over to laughter
Instead of remembering every self inflicted disaster
My mind grows weary of constant fights, i just want to sleep at night
I've seen, too many times, the sun dancing with the moon at midnight
The way the moon glances at the night, gets me every time
Even the dark has someone, like the day has the sun
When i ask where is mine they say, your life has just begun
But if this is youth where is the fun, has it gone already
Is it time to grow up, has summer flown by
I am soon to the grave

It sways in and out of my thoughts.
Like a fall leaf on a slim tree limb.
Decisive on weather it should just
hold on or let go.
Risk the drop,
or cling onto the only thing it's known.
I am a leaf and you are my rugged branch.
You were my stronghold for a while,
but now I want to taste the wind!
So, sadly, I must let go of us.
I must learn to fall a little
if I ever want to rise.
Let the wind take me places I've never been before.

All in the name of life, from the moment you catch your first breath of fresh air, that is then delivered all throughout your lungs, all in your muscles making its way to the power house; your brain.  From that point on everything falls in place. You are immediately showered in love and affection. It may be overwhelming to you but you don't know what this is. To you, you see shapes, stretching their faces right up close to your face. But before all this, right when you were put on this earth... it  was mute for a split second then all of a sudden all the immense sounds came rushing into your little compact head filling it up with little tingles in your ears bright lights in your face and from that point on you cried. Screamed, kicked, breathed; repeat. Until you were placed in the arms of an angel like person, the person who brought you into this world. A women who brought you warmth and safety from that point on. She cherished you and loved for you. She would go out of her way in any situation to make sure you came first. Holding your hand making sure you'd be okay. Years passed by and your first day of kindergarten is soon around the corner! You're riding the bus! Like a big kid. That night you and your mom picked everything out from clothes to extra bandaids in your backpack just incase you'd need any. She'd tuck you in and give you a extra big hug and give you millions of kisses on your cheeks. She gets ready to walk out and smiles one last time, it's an unsteady smile one holding back tears and happiness. Walks slowly back to her room and quietly shuts the door and faintly cries. It's as if se was looking at an old memory book. Reliving all the great memories she once had still holding onto. "Where'd all the time go" or "how'd he grow up so fast" is all that rushing throughout her head.

He sat there as still as a statue,
His spring rusty from being forgotten by his loved ones;
Oh, he knew this day would come when he was no longer  of value,
For his old age has dimmed his light and he no longer shone.


His box was sealed away,
The rust on his spring will always stay,
For the children has outgrown him and never stop to play;
So, Jack was left alone in the attic for the rest of his days.

Now that we need him for our children's children,
To show them how fun he was to us as a child;
We did not know his value then,
His heart rusted away, now he can never be beguiled (again).



Jonesy 2017 ©

"Layna, this is Seth,"
Our father breathed into
My ear.
"I think you two should play together
For a while."

We were only children,
Toddling around
With wild fantasies.
I was bashful and shy,
But I always tried
To make you laugh.
And you always gave me
Reasons why you weren't a good
Playmate.

We played tag,
And the wind would carry
Your feet
And push my hair into my face,
I never liked this game.
You always got so far away.
I'd only catch you
When you were out of breath,
You'd stop short,
And I run into you
Hard.
"Father she pushed me!"
"I did NOT! He's lying!"

Our small high voices
Would rise up the chimney
Making imperfect
Melodies together,
And not hearing a thing
The other said,
Too caught up
In our own disassociative
Play land.
"Daddy he won't listen to me!
He ignores me!"
"Father I can't get her
To slow down and think!"

Our amusement
Of one another
Started getting rough,
You didn't like
How I'd started getting more
Boisterous,
And confident.
Unafraid to poke the bear with a stick,
And I loathed your timid
Out look on life.
"Father she scares me! She plays too rough!"
"Daddy he won't take chances! He's still so shy!"

But then there'd be a blissful
Moment
Of perfect harmony,
Under a canopy of tree branches
Woven together,
You'd dare to hold my hand,
And I'd slow down
And breathe it in.
"Daddy why can't he always be like this?"
"Father will she calm down
With age?"

"I love him daddy, he's good sometimes."
"I love her father, she's beautiful when she's gentle."

We built things together,
Crooked buildings out of
Sticks.
You found it funny when they fell through,
I saw it as a problem
To solve.
"Father she's too driven, and bossy. She wants everything just so."
"Daddy he doesn't care if it all falls apart."

We'd wrestle in the grass,
It started out just fun,
Then your pride was damaged,
And so was mine,
And I couldn't let you win.
"Father I don't know if I want to play anymore, she never lets anything go. She won't let me have my way."
"Daddy he thinks I have to be something else."

I would giggle at foolish things,
And sang silly songs,
And you watched me with slitted eyes, Unamused.
"Father she's overwhelming."

"Layna he isn't happy,"
Our father murmured softly.
"Well I'm not happy either!
So he can just leave me alone!"

"What? Why?"
"Because you don't like me anyways!"
"Fine!"

Our inner
Traumatized children, didn't play well together,
And they were determined
To come out
And have their say,
So when they couldn't get along,
I realized,
Neither could we.