It always makes me wake up when it hits;
When a rivulet of sweat runs between my tits.
I wake up thinking some bug is walking there
Because it tickles my manly bit of chest hair.
Guys are built much different than the rest.
We are not supposed to have issues with our chest.
But here I am trying to get some sleep
Suddenly aware my cleavage is too deep.
Stuff is happening backwards that should not
What we supposed to do with this mess we’ve got?
Something’s got the world all upside down.
God must be a freaky circus clown.
Regardless of some nasty radio rants
I have no problem with women wearing pants.
And in life today as I have always seen
The woman is often the boss, big and mean.
And I have heard, in current affairs and state
That men can even, in time, learn to lactate.
But this one situation in which I have boobies
Threatens to unhinge and drive me a bit loopy.
I guess, with time, I will someday get accustomed.
And I know some old ideas need to be jettisoned.
But I never expected that this would be a year
For me to go get fitted for an absorbent brassiere.
I know i tend to fixate on problems that don't matter
Only wishing i could go back before disaster even happened
Some people need to learn, to learn from mistakes made
Hypocrisy says i do that one thing every damn day
In preaching a solution and trying to make it apply
I happily problem-repeat I know the truth not the reasons why
Pushing at an answer for all my unknown questions
I ask too much yet not enough to feel slightly pressured
Second guessing my responses and accepting all the consequences
Similarly, weighing 50/50 on my consciousness
A problem-less probability of dealing with shit peacefully
Is like changing the definition of equality to equity
Everywhere i go i walk slow, just to breathe in the air
Walking with a swagger listening to Marshal Mathers like i don't care
What you think of me, keep talking the talk
I'll stride on by because i walk the sidewalk while y'all just stop and gawk
Staring at my hungrily like a fish to a ravenous hawk
I'm a Phoenix mother f*er it's a competition, of the squawk!
Like it's only my fault, just hoping to live a life
I'm not squatting in the shadows like a motorcycle with no brake line
You're wheeling out of control, wheezing coz of all you smoke
You wanna whittle at it and puff puff but your throat catches and chokes!
Gripping at all your lost dreams like trying to grasp sand
Time up, ticked over, read the back of my packet to understand
Trying always to make the best of a real bad situation
Like pulling rainbows and silver clouds from a city lost to mayhem
I turn to the TV and turn it on, another twenty dead
Because a Middle Eastern man let religion get to his head
That sort of shit sticks to me like glue to overused shoes
A few years old and growing mould, worn and torn under daily abuse
Another case of law and order failing at justice
Because people will talk tall shit just to evade the clutches
Did you know its a 497 cash fine,
For running red lights
Yet some mother got 500 for baby bashing crimes?!
She took straight to the Internet, said she'd do it all again
This stays straight on my mind like wedded couples wearing golden rings
Quite simply put, the system has me shook
Prisoners behind bars and crooks running free like headless chooks!
Maybe you're starting to sense a little something in what I say
If not then just for you I'll become religious, bless you and pray
That maybe someday, you'll glare past the flashing red signs
And meet it with a gaze like a good student meets every deadline
Sophistication is the message hiding behind my words
If you refuse to look further than death and dirt you won't witness the hurt
It takes time for mad rhymes stuck to brainwaves like lifelines
To resign, and reappear from the pen to padded paper lined
And it's even harder putting the pieces in place
This is a jigsaw puzzle, such trouble is a thousand mistakes
But align them like a cosmic balance; and there you have it
Another visionary hole for a dead and dying rabbit
It's clear to me,
You can't see
What is going on inside my mind
So here i stand,
Do what i can,
To show the scars of what claws inside
It's clear to me
You can't see
The cogs turning gears inside my mind
So here i stand,
Pen and paper in hand
To read you the words between the lines
are what i feel when my hands tremble as i pick up the phone
my heart pounds so hard i hear it in my ears as i decide what to do
i pray that you dont answer that i can leave you a message
i dont want to hear your voice i dont i dont i dont
i dont because i know that if i do
ill begin to shake
not shake how i do when im cold or angry but instead
ill shake how i do when im terrified
because the thought of seeing you hearing you merely being around you
it makes me shake so violently
like an iv filled with pure anxiety was stuck into me
yet i talk to you i laugh with you and im around you
not all that often rarely actually
but even still i feel dirty after being near you
and not everyone will see it but the hands.
will begin to shake.
Dripping sweat as the dollies all transude
as I'm striving to reduce my fat
the tattooed drones, oil muscled dudes
abs, so six pack, and flat
The Barbie babes, dance the aerobic dance
checking, each and every mirror
prancing to the hum and beat
hoping their skin will get, much clearer
Machines are full of perfect bods
each tanned and ultimate streamlined
knowing that it's a thought in my head
I just don't fit, as not that way, designed
It's the panoply I detest
the people are the show
perspiring in unity
having that shining
i imagine us weaving through the isles
of a cold gas station store past midnight.
north america. long road trip.
i can't decide if it's winter or not outside.
there's an absence of stars in the sky.
the windows have a thick film of condensation growing on them.
there could be snow on the ground.
we pass each other by the freezers
like we didn't just fuck in your car.
i can't decide how that might look.
i watch you.
the beads of sweat on your neck
and a single iris shifts in pigment
when the neon light outside flickers.
your pale skin is impressionable
bruised with every colour on the spectrum,
you're not proud of your scars
but you never hide them.
i think you like being hurt.
teeth marks on my shoulder show
you're not afraid of blood.
when i get to the counter i buy cheap a mood ring
tonight it might not be black.
it's incredible she didn't pull away
surely she must have tasted
the blood on the tip of my tongue;
the steel of my metal lungs
and the rust.
like licking batteries. residual energy lingers.
i can feel my skin burning up,
surely i'll burn hot enough to melt
her. and feel her flesh slide through
the gaps in my fingers and fingertips.
I don't need no
chains and whips,
sparks fly from
Magic, the way
you move your hips.
Magic, when you
part your lips.
I'm no sage,
but I can enlighten.
You crawl to me,
you are not frightened.
Sweat and blood,
Draw the shades,
don't let the light in.
You kneel before me,
I can't ignore.
You rake my skin,
I ask for more.
I part your legs
and kiss your core.
Falling from you,
what you wore.
We are a version that is dictated
by ourselves, not others dictations.
We write the verses of our own lives,
scripting every contemplation of decisions.
Never rely on the words of others to
push you where you want, need to be.
No one is throwing pennies into the bowl
of pity, only you can rise above your failings.
But you reach with each moment, sweat and
reflections of when you fell down picking
yourself up. Higher than when you collected
back to reality, and believe when you rise above.
"We may get knocked down, but only we
can raise above where we fell,
"Be brighter than the shadows others put upon you,