The body broken --

Waiting to be
     healed
Like the dry scorched land
     waiting for rain

Praying for rain
    Rain rain rain

Each breath
   inner and outer
   streams
   of life

Moments
  of miracles
Moments
  of whole

So, the day the devil met me...
he was dressed pretty funny
and he uh,
he had this stupid smile,
and he saw mine was broken;
so he, so he asked me to stay for awhile

and for awhile, I danced to his tune,
I harmonized with his melodies,
fell in love with his obscenities, and his lyrical,
complex identities

and for awhile, I made excuses-
I thought, not all are to be for not
everyone makes mistakes, and
who am I to refute against them,
when we all must learn through them

and for awhile, I believed in second chances
which lead to two, three, and even a seventh
because I was taught to forgive and I thought,
that's what that meant

and for awhile, I was hell bent and broken,
thought all was lost, all was stolen, blamed
others for my own emotions, and lost myself in all of the commotion

and for awhile, the hate ran deep,
the anger- steep, sleep was non-existent
my mind- incognisant, and my soul damn near diminished
I was waring thin, knee high in my own cesspool of sin

and for awhile, I had no where to turn
I was forced to eat shit, praying that I'd learn,
and eventually, hopefully claw my way out of this pit,
this pit of self-inflicted loneliness

oh and for awhile, he had me by the tail,
a quick wit I thought I was
but apparently, not nearly enough

I gave up, I lost faith, I settled for what I thought I deserved
when I should have been fighting for what I believed in, the very passion that burns within
I allowed something to exist and play on my mental like a mother fucking fiddle

when I am and nothing more

and so, it was not all for not but merely a confirmation that I am, that I can~

and to forgive is not to forget but to forgive is to change the perspectives while forgetting loses the lessons

Thanks God
you were adding
Joy and Sorrow
in our lives
time to time
otherwise humans
would have felt even
superior than you!

love  is ...
praying  for  someone,
inspite  of  
being  an  atheist.

today is this first time i’ve ever really,
really,
wanted to pray.

i’m so afraid, because you’re all i can think about.
it’s all you, and the other things,
they’re important but you, you’re there.

and who would answer me?
what would they say,
when they found a girl, who always wanted to pray,
pleading and asking for clarity.

what would heaven say?
the ground beneath my feet,
seems unstable,
so take my hand and pull me up and let me see the clouds.

help me run, help me fly,
and rid me of these feelings
-this confusion. because i want us to just love.

and if someone else answered,
i’d walk all the way down and ask.
maybe you’d give me help, or i’d find sinners along the way.

we’re both sinners, because our muses (not us) told us we were something else
-beyond the way humans believe. beyond belief.
so, what would think of me my knees,
just wondering something about you.

Excerpt from ‘The Wind on the Downs’
"That you are round about me, I believe;
And knowing you are happy; should I grieve?
And when I leave the meadow, almost wait,"
(Continued by Dani Henderson)
For you to show up where I have placed the bait.
Love is keeping me here as long as the day,
Coming back until I have your say.
This is something I need to know,
Did you want to stay or want to go?
Give me all my prayers to read again,
So I can fix them in permanent pen.
Let me know so I can think of your face,
And not cry, but remember your grace.
Show me you can feel no more pain,
Show me that I am truly sane,
And that I am right about that place,
Because I know you can see His face.
The perfect peace you surely can feel,
I know that is part of the deal.
It will be a while for me, my turn I have to wait,
For the privilege to see the perfectly pearly gate.
When my name is called I know I am ready to go,
But your choice, I need to know!