I have called out often to you
and I have craved your intervention.
Never really sure if you exist at all,
I still sought for your attention.
I searched the faiths a many
and I have tried to understand.
What it was that I must do
to reach out to your open hand.
My faith has wavered greatly
as my time has ambled on.
Yet often did I pray to you,
though at times my faith had gone.
So many times did I reach for you
from the depths of my despair.
Hoping for some magic sign
that you were standing there.
I have looked upon the world and universe,
To see its beauty and its terrors too.
In some unseen and mystifying way,
these things all cry out a testament of you.
I have come to think that we,
are not at the centre of your plan.
Your universe so vast in purpose,
for the tininess of a single man.
Endless chaos and reconstruction,
on a scale that a lifetime can't comprehend.
Recycling endless matter,
on a path seemingly without an end.
Yet you gave me mind and time,
to see this snapshot of the plan.
Giving cause for hope that you can hear,
the prayers of this small man.
Twice in my life I was surprised to find a prayer seemingly answered. Too immediate to write off as coincidence.... though when faith is thin it is easier to believe in coincidence. Unanswered prayers also give rise to doubts. Oddly... even when faith is weakest and doubts are highest... I find I am more likely to seek intervention. Just saying....