I remember lying on my bed late at night
The images of that.. survey
tattooed behind my eyelids

I remember having to check off the boxes that apply
But how can you apply a label to the deep down feeling of being bullied
How can you label the sleepless nights and tempest-tossed days,
Of lying in bed wondering when the world will change

When you want to make a difference
But it’s hard
Because people won't listen

When innocence is dressed as protection
The lines get fuzzy
Because I can remember times when my age cost me my innocence
And my innocence cost me my age

"The resources that we provide
The time that has been generously set aside
You need to pick a side"
But there are too many unanswered questions about this list of what feels like right and wrong answers

But it's okay, because there’s an “all of the above" option

The messages students are sending out are being ignored
We talk to the janitor, instead of the head of the school board
When the teacher who said they'd to help you decides to retire
We are tired

This form is supposed to help us
But it has formed into an endless hole of anger and confusion
We are tired of being told that we are safe when our safety seems to be disguised as a Google questionnaire.

So I lay on my bed for a little while longer
And thought of this poem
To all the girls and the boys
And everyone in between
Who’s ever struggled with self-worth
And even self-esteem
We are in this together
We can work to be better
So we won’t have to lay in bed,
wondering when the questions won’t make us question our inherent value

Because we are worth something
Something more than what we know
More than hair, makeup, piercings and clothes
This is some progress, a movement, a fight that can grow
And hopefully one day... our identities can show
And all of this can start by hanging up a rainbow :)

love with a boy

with the grace of an elephant
i fall in love with a boy
it happens slowly
and then all at once
it is loud and sharp and harsh
like fireworks and explosions
rough hands running over hips
gripping tighter in fear of letting go
harsh love and lust pull closer together
the forms that resemble magnets
drifting closer together from opposite poles
until they collide with touches and breaths
and they lay there
without a care in the world


love with a girl

with the grace of an angel
i fall in love with a girl
it is fragile and new
like a bird’s egg in spring
it is as soft as fresh cotton
and as gentle as her own hands
lips brush in kisses that make you shiver
and fingers intertwine to set
butterflies loose inside of you
begging to burst free at any time
love is scattered across me
like the freckles on her face
and it sits in my heart
light as a feather

my lover twirls grace and beauty
between her fingertips
her golden hair gleams like sunlight
and her breath flows like wind
i can liken her to flowers
but they hold no candle to her
she moves like a river
gentle, slow, and flowing
i understand now the desire
that Eve had that day in Eden
aching to feel the sweet nectar
flow down her chin and to her breast
wanting to taste what she never could have
and, God, did it feel good.