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Monisha 1d
Just like that,
I felt a sprinkle of pain,
You know the kind that gnaws and grows,
And nibbles your insides.

What started it, I wonder,
A buried thought,
a deserted experience,
Befallen, buried, squashed,
Run asunder, but still alive.

It pushes through the barriers to say,
Hey you! Yes you!
I exist,
Don’t think your looking away,
Will stop me coming back, some day.

Huh! I beat it hollow,
and there it’s slimy self crept back,
I had learnt not to feed it as it would grow,
I keep it on such a strict spartan diet,
My oh My! Look how bulbous it looks!

Hmmmm! Pain, were you feeding inside of me merrily while I was asleep,
Chewing my tissues, chomp chomp, burp,
Deep so very deep,
I feel I am missing a bone or two,
you gluttonous pain,
I am sure you’ve gobbled up many cells too.

Dark, gray, silent, doom,
Am I on for lifelong gloom,
Aah! Hrmph! Boo hooo!
What do I do,
So many around me,
Who do I reach out to?

Oh I do reach out,
And they say,
You? Couldn’t be,
You’re so strong,
It doesn’t fit you well, this pain you see!

I laugh, Is this pain
A size smaller for me,
Am I self indulgent,
In saying it hurts.

I start looking around,
And see many like me,
Laughter hiding the pain,
Cloaked well, their touch warm,
The tremble reaching out in vain.

It’s tough, this despair,
Sometimes with valid cause,
Many times so much accumulated,
Unaddressed, unmet, covered with gauze.
It rears it’s **** head
For many
Eating their insides,
It’s canine jaws,
Sharp and unrelenting.

I still don’t have an answer,
Who does really,
Expectations, recriminations, justifications, validations, manipulations, mechanisations,
Eat us up a bit more.
We sleep off some days
hoping to sleep away to nothingness.

And then we arise to the morn,
The sun filtering through, casting its warmth,
A bird in the distance chirping away,
Pain still there but so are my fingers glowing like starlight along the Milky Way,
My limbs stretch and I purr away,
The clocks tick tock,
Reminds me of a chance,
A new beginning,
A fresh start,
A fresh me,
A wounded but mighty heart!  

Facing my pain instead of sublimating it,
Nursing it tenderly instead of ill treating it,
I know you’ll ease out, heal out,
And I will be better each day,
Because this life, this beautiful life,
Is worth living each moment, every day.

When I face you, I shall share you,
Tell your story to those I want to,
And suddenly, you will feel acknowledged and dance way into the oblivion because you’ve been sung to, heard, cuddled and celebrated.

Till then, I trudge along...
This is an ode to so many of us who carry burdens of hurt, unresolved pain, and stories to self which need to be heard. May you seek and find those willing to listen and hold your hand, sometimes that’s all it takes, sometimes you need more, but seek you must. I send you my love and hugs and Godspeed to find your pain and acknowledge it, only then healing starts.
Jay M 1d
Take me away
Far away
To a land of wonder

Soon, I beg,
Soon, I plea,
Lift me up
Dear family...

Hated by the blood,
I know,
But family of soul
Please don't let me go...

- Jay M
October 21st, 2019
Patrick 2d
I should just go to bed
Get you out of my head
But you’re stuck on my mind
And I can’t leave you behind

I should just go to bed
Or do something else instead
But instead I’m clinging to my phone
Because I can’t bear to be alone

I should just go to bed
Get rid of this dread
But I’m drunk and insane
And only have myself to blame

I should’ve just gone to bed
Gotten you out of my head
But I’ve made some mistakes again
And I know tomorrow will be the same
The destruction of silence
Tears a path through my skull
And reverberates the darkest parts
Of my already shattered soul!
Patrick 2d
I spent too long looking at the world through glass
Watching as time just seemed to pass
Until one day I got ****** in
And started to explore the world from within
Everything I saw was cracked
And with my every single act
I tried to fix the world I saw
But everything I touched became worse than before

With every caress the world would crack
And nothing I did would put it back
And then I tried my best to
Escape and reach into
The world I had known
But the cracks wouldn’t leave me alone

My touch no longer broke
But instead it was the words I spoke
So every so often I return
To the glass in a hope to learn
The truth of what I should do
But whatever I do it always seems to hurt you.
The mind is a beast
we are all tasked with

But how? When mine
ducks every lasso, throws
me from the saddle, kicks
dirt in my mouth

Is an ocean of riling blood
beneath the throbbing
bruise of sky

Colliding thunderheads
thicker than smoke threatening
a slaughter of rain

And I:
shipwrecked in its mess

A splintered mast and torn
sail swallowed by a wall of
water black as my most
poisoned thoughts

Sinking like a pearl to the
shifting, tectonic floor of
my own body

Drawing breath through
a mouthful of sand, my pruning
hands bound by the mangled
leather of a pair of reins

Yet reins cannot tame the sea.
Nicole 4d
Away she flew
Swept by the waves
A soul so blue
Now gone in the grave
And what can u do?
Nothing but remember
How she cried to you
On that night in September
Can you help me?
I'm trying to find my place
What I thought was found was always lost
These people aren't real
Just pieces on a board game
Pushing me around as if they know who I am
But I am unlike these players
I don't play games

Can you help me?
I'm trying to escape this dream
I'm not awake but I clearly see
That these demons are killing me
I want to leave but these chains protect me
From seeing who I am truly meant to be
My cart draws on,
But life goes no further,
It twists and turns,
My grip gets tighter,
The path I chose,
Won’t go on for ever,
Yet I cling to this cart,
I can’t hold on much longer.
As time goes on,
My hold gets lighter,
It bucks and kicks,
I thought I was a fighter,
Can I let go,
I can’t go any further,
I don’t want to be here,
Fighting any longer.
My tracks seem to go no further
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