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Vallery 5d
Who am I?
Oh, why, I haven't a clue!

Do I have an identity,
do I have a personality,
or a soul like you do?

Am I defined by Him?
Or am I defined by Me?
Do you decide who I may be?
Oh, my, who am I?

And why can't I
identify that
which makes me me...
My talents
or my failures,
my past or my present...
Do either or neither
determine me?

But, oh, I cry,
is it too late now
to find out how
to become me again?

But oh, who am I
to say I can't begin
to make my name.
When now may be the time
when now could be my time
to make me shine,
and make my self
whole,
new,
and me…

Hopefully...
Phia Jul 5
It’s an odd thing
You know
Having a front row seat
To my own self destruction.
Being so mentally broken
Yet so painfully self aware
I wanna get better
Joshua Phelps Jun 26
Little lonely ghost,
Sitting there all alone

What's got you in
Your head?

The world may be
Burning, but know
I'll be your cover

And protect you from
Burden.

Little lonely ghost,
It's okay to feel
Less than okay.

It's not your whole life.
It's just one day.

Little lonely ghost,
Don't be afraid.

Just know that
I'll protect you until
The end of my days.
Zelda Jun 25
:)
I don't know how to write this
So I'll be honest
I'm not diagnosed
But sometimes I get sad
Really sad
My body is heavy
I drag myself out of bed
I randomly cry
But the water is scolding
It's a comfort
So it's ok
And I stick to my routine
As best I can
While I try to stop
everything everyone's ever said about me
Ruminating in my head
They don't like the shows I watch
They don't understand
I watch them over and over and over and over
To alleviate the loneliness
Because I'm lonely
I've always been lonely
I should be used to it
But I'm starving
For affection, for care
They say
I'm seeking attention
I'm fishing for compliments
But I just want someone to talk to, I'm trying
I know I'm selfish
I know others have it much worse
I shouldn't feel this way
I know
But I do
I'm scared I'll lose the few people I have left
I can take the harsh words
It's just a truth
I'm stupid, I have to work harder
I'm ugly, do I look ok in a mask?
I'm borning
I'm pathetic
I'm not enough
I'm tired
And sad
Been thinking of joining a club
I'm almost 27
It'll be a simple celebration
I doubt anyone will remember
They never do
It'll be fun
And maybe I'll be content :)
Joshua Phelps Jun 22
Look at the streets crumble,
They were just fine.

Now look at you,
The cracks in your face tell me
You can't hold it together,
One more time.

Savage world,
Bitter truth,
It'll do no good to whine.

But it'll do no good to pretend
You're fine.

So you found that
Life isn't fair,
It's full of secrets and truth,
A hidden lair,

That I could still never hide from you
Because it was always there.

Love had its affairs,
And you had it all,
The bitter truth reveals a broken man,
Trying to stand tall.

Trying not to bend,
Or break, or fail,
A man doing his best
Not to crumble like the streets,

And continue to lose it all.
Ashwin Kumar Jun 16
I don't know what wrong have I done
To deserve so much pain
Always, have I been kind
Yet, have I lost a few friends
Suffered, have I, a rather painful divorce
My marriage was a total farce
However, not at all was I at fault
Never, did I deserve so much hurt!

I don't know what wrong have I done
To be taken for granted by a woman
Whom I loved a lot
She cared for me not one bit
Though she turned out to be an amazing actress
Who pretended to be in great distress
And milked me for all was I worth
Really, was she the worst!!

I don't know what wrong have I done
To be so rudely cut off by a woman
Who always called me her best friend
Never did I think our long relationship would end
In such a brutal manner
Especially considering was I always good to her
How dare she take advantage of my autism
***** her and her Brahminical egoism!!

I don't know what wrong have I done
To be rejected by almost everyone
On a variety of dating apps
Sometimes I feel I am being treated like a corpse
What qualities do I lack?
Why do some people only look at my mistakes
And not the good things have I done?
Seriously, with India, am I done!!

I don't know what wrong have I done
But I am not going to be taken for granted again
***** all of you, thanks to whom I have suffered
There may be a time when YOU suffer
I will laugh at you then
Truly, never again, am I going to be taken for a ride
Because Jesus is on my side
Amen!!
Rant on my sufferings in life.
These voices haunt me day and night,
Their mostly mean, their not nice.
I try to survive, they jeopardize my life.
They terrorize my mind, all the time.
They push me off this mountain i climb,
Its harder to climb everytime i try.
I pray to God and ask him why‽
I look up at the sky with my eyes and cry,
Wanting to tell these voices bye.
True story
I cry myself to sleep some nights,
Thats the price I pay to roll the dice.

Should i take my life tonight?
I'm defeated from my insides.

My mind, can not rewind time,
Im denied the prize, of a second climb.

Trying everyday not to lose my mind,
I whined one to many times.

Should be a crime to deny my rights, I'm losing my mind, with these guys.

Inside my head, behind my eyes, they tell lies and become spys.

Their not nice, they want me to die.
Make me cry, every single time.

Your not real, but I still feel,
Only i can take lifes wheel.

And hope for this sickness in my brain to disappear.
F these voices
Can you hear them voices?
That only i can hear?
Whispering Warnings,
Feeling My soul up with fear.

It's hard to be lonely,
When you can hear,
Its like they are roaring,
In my ears.

I'm tired of them coming,
Oh how they just appear,
Mumblings emerging,
They will never disappear.

They act like they know me,
I try to flee,
Wanting to destroy me,
Their all i see..

Wouldn't wish this on Nobody,
Them spying on me.
My brain is lying,
Is this real or a dream?
Schizophrenia *****
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