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I was born to be alone..
As you weren’t there
for all my panic attacks
when I sent you a message
that I needed you right now
as my hands were shivering
to the point that I couldn't yearn for help,
when the doctor was the only one
who patted my shoulder and said;
It's okay, you are safe now…
When I saw a semi-reflection of my parents
through your soul….
Well, I’m here, fighting demons,
As it’s Thursday,
and you didn’t come home.
I know I should do better
and ignore this intense fear of mine.
I should yearn for something else
rather than the idea of
your colorful permanent settlement
in my black-and-white corners.
aspen wilde May 2022
i have felt
like      this  
before

that my being
and          existence
of life

does attack and
physically                 p a i n
them

"we are such stuff
that             dreams
are made on"

but no-one says
that these                    d r e a m s
can go bad
nick armbrister Mar 2022
Modified Bombs
Her eye was acting up but that was fine
For she had a second one to use
This was just fine like her warplane
It had two engines but number one engine
This was like her eye acting up too
No need to worry for Eagle 2 jets are good
Made with system redundancy like her
An ability to function with degraded systems
Right now she was on the way to Moscow
To drop some iron bombs on Putin
A personal gift from a gal who was bad
Real bad *** half Yank half what?
That last bit was unknown but what was
Known was that she would soon be dead
Along with the Neo Soviet leader
Those iron bombs were special
She'd personally modified the warheads
A new historical dawn was coming...
Alex McQuate Mar 2022
Walls closing in, hard to breath,
Staccato rhythmic my chest.
Looking back over every word,
How did I **** up,
Had to,
How could I not,
Dark,
Dismal,
Sinister whispers.

Been a while since I felt this sensation,
Like an unwelcome person back into my life,
****** up,
Had to,
Rata-tat-tat goes the heart.

Forgive me for my **** up,
Twas not my intent,
Words slipping out without realizing,
Hours later,
Analyzing,
Reanalyzing,
Overanalyzing?
No, wouldn't feel this way otherwise.

Apologies not enough,
What if this is the straw that breaks the back,
What if this is the point where it all falls apart?

My fault,
Of course my fault,
How can it not be my fault.
Rata-tat-tat goes the heart in the chest.

Pressure release valve needed,
None to be found,
Reach for my laptop and pound on the keys,
Will words be enough?
Will the prose suffice?
Am I bound for a torturous night of no sleep?

But I deserve it,
How can I not,
Good ol' Rob ******* up yet again,
Can't do anything right,
Could never do anything right,
Deserves all that he gets.

Vision narrowed,
Tunnel of black,
Pinpricks of light that are all that can be seen.
Turning burning eyes into watery blurs,
Rata-tat-tat goes the engine as it screams.
Nyx Sep 2021
When anxiety comes
It whines and groans
Like a coursing river
The sour feelings grow

Cursing and screaming
Within your head
Doubting your reasons
You're better off dead

Like a pack of wolves
Howling in the night
It only worsens as it’s
Accompanied by moonlight

Frantically run as you may
Not a single thought on track
turning every corner
With each you’re attacked

By nothing but yourself
In your Head, going circles about
Silently you lay there
As your chest bubbles with doubt

Panic isn't all but external
Crying and screams
Sometimes it's quietly
Pulling you apart at the seams

Muted by a clogging
Suffocating feeling in your throat
Scratching and clawing
It won't be long before you choke
Will you croak?
Oil and vinegar,
Sugar and spice,
Lust is ****** up,
and love is nice.
Lust can fool you,
to thinking you love,
or she/he loves you,
But be careful of the wolf
that will attack you.
Oil and vinegar,
Sugar and spice,
love is ****** up,
but also nice.
Keep that in mind, when you sing this song.
That love is not the game yet for the lust we play.
How it tricks us into being the fool of a lusters game.
The game of love, comes far and wide, but beware of what will **** you on the inside. Lust is the mantle of the party, keep your heart open and eyes open, for what may **** you is the beast within the cupid tail.
Shevaun Stonem Aug 2021
but I know
just as a cat flinches
when you move to pet it,
so do I.
we both no longer know the difference between
affection and attack.
On abuse and assault
Ryan Seth Cole Aug 2021
You think you got it all figured out. It All make sense in your head. Until that tinglin starts rumbiling in your chest turns from stress to dread.

Countless minutes you will never get back and the problems you had were few to many and you carried the weight of them upon your back.
The problems were few and now they begin to stack.

The gasp will surely ruin you; when it hits, it attacks. You find the closest thing to you and slide down it with your back. Find yourself layed ruined until you find yourself on your knees and hands. This is the epitome of the broken man. The hardest hit to the heart surely would **** the average man. Yea but you keep going and God just praying you can find your way back. There has to be a reason that this happens to me? Yea well I have faith in time you will begin to see.

Listnen," friend to friend " these things tend too surely pan themselves out. I know noones perfect but you can try to be. But if the risk is too high you can find the balance or try to work something out or in between.

But right now the most important thing you can do is just breathe. Heres a bag, put your head between your knees. Slow down, control the pace of your breathe. think only about overcoming this, just breathe.

-RSC
To anyone who has ever had a panic attack.
I feel you home slice. ***** real... Them things can hit anywhere.
Carlo C Gomez Jun 2021
~
I hold still,

let him finish stabbing me

                                                 — I count six,

let him believe me dead,

he moves on to Cecelia.

--

It does not go as well for her

as she continues to writhe and scream

and carry on,

not well at all
                                             
               ­                              — I count eight,

                                                                nine,

                                                                ten...

~
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