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Nylee Sep 26
It was just yesterday I revealed little of myself to you. Then again I changed within hours and discovered a little more of myself.

Standing in the mirror, the reflection and the light flicker. The candle flame added another warm shade as part of me fade away.

A plunge ahead comes with fall to follow, it is easy when we walk slow. The pace of my thoughts is lost, ahead of me in its exploration.

Someday there will be ease, hopefully with more of the inner peace. The sweater will keep me warm, my armour will save me from harm.

So open to the world and vulnerable for a second and more, shields up in moments later. Trust escapes and gets captured in a matter of time.

It is dizzy and not, words in world and too many thoughts. Aging but learning, drowning but burning, the ironies are shining bright.
Hereshecomes Aug 6
Surging towards knowledge
Not its shattering
I obeyed excavated wishes.
And so you make peace with
Your fury holding
A mirror as shield.
There,
Truth or logic
Debris that remain
Or lessons never learnt:
Never to foretell
Never to tell
Never again.
Viktoria May 16
Numb?
No actually better already,
Painful?
halfway, not full I suppose.
Thought I was so very aware,
Turned out, I didn't know half of the truth.

Fears chasing me, yet again.
And I try to stay in the moment,
Maybe that was the mistake,
I held on to it, with force.

I was convinced, my inner state,
Must feel all pure and harmonious,
Every time I have made it into the
Present moments.
But very possible I was wrong,
And I covered my fears with an image,
Of how I would think,
A moment in human's life should feel.

Sounds bit complicated, I know.
But I know what I talk about.
I am tired of hiding the unpleasant,
I better live with, not without it.

In fact without it, that's not possible.
At least till I have cleared it up.
It can't disappear, it's emotional,
And I used to cover it up.

It was a part of my perfect thinking,
I idealized myself,
In my view, I am a real warrior,
A hero for the weak and dead,
I put this expectation on myself,
I carried it around like a shield,
And though no arrow really got to me,
I still got traumatized, stopped to feel.
In fact behind the shield I was just hiding,
I hid my fears, my worries beneath,
I am still very sure that they're my weaknesses,
I tried to be different, and the result was this.

I truly stopped to feel real pain,
I fell to ashes and got up again,
But through the journey,
I lost who I was,
And my humanity got lost.

Now I am standing here,
My shield, still in my hand,
But I have made a hole,
To look through it instead.

I am not ready to uncover,
How damaged I am underneath,
I am not ready to discover,
My truth and my uncertainties.

I'm wounded, but I am alive.
I see it although I still hide,
Under the shield,
A perfect game,
The sun, the rain,
They're all the same,
No light comes in,
And storms stay outside,
But I am here to live,
And I have to decide,
Can I let the illusion go,
Am I ready to meet with my soul,
Am I ready to show the world,
Who I am and who I'm actually not?

Truly, I didn't even know,
I held this shield through it all,
I just saw it in my hand and realized,
I am not as much a hero, as I fantasized.

In fact I feel really hurt and blind,
For the waking up is cutting within
At the same time I realize,
It is time to let life and light in.

It is a very small, though heavy step to make.
I am still shaking insecurely, I have fears.
I need more courage now,
Than I ever had,
And I'm glad, that now I understand that.
About my deepest truth, how I am hiding behind some image of myself that seemingly doesn't get hurt.
Poetic Eagle Apr 15
l act like l don't care



but inside I'm screaming
who else dos that
Jessi Apr 6
tell me, love
does the world end for you
as it does for me
over
and
over
and
over
again

does it's genesis
startle you awake
the next morning
as you feel for the empty space next to you
things were too good to be true

but nothing surprises me much anymore
and the cups of meloncholy lovers have
overflowed before
into puddles of what shouldn't be

don't make it hurt
my love
please
be gentle with me
my shield is not yet fully formed
you see
Chicken Mar 18
Protect yourself from me
I am the raining dead
The fission's, and
The fighters, and
Those who bled in dread

I can heal you,
but not
in the absence of your shield
I'm here,
right
by your side
Out in the field
Out in the field

I didn't do what you asked
Never look back,
my ****
Never look back,
Oh my big ****
I'm coming back to get you.
Two close comrades. Out on the field, in battle, running... one comrade always told the other, 'never look back' and 'run with your gun' in case human compassion washed over and one went back for the other, killing them both.

Guess who didn't listen.

It is the story of two best friends.

One always trying to protect the other, and vice versa.

In another life, they (enough congregation of their particles) meet, and all those memories come rushing back.

Written from a healing perspective, everything in oneness. it is powerful, utmost self care is necessary.
Farheen Khan Feb 14
In the process of shielding
My heart
I broke it
Thousand more time
Before anyone could ever do
Just a random thought
She
she's my puzzle

all the pieces are there,
but the box is missing

she's my chalice

I only fill her
with the finest

she's my mirror

and I am growing fond
of my reflection

she's my sword

ready to cut a path
through those who stand in my way

she's my shield

always there for me
in the heat of battle

she's my Queen
and it is an honor
to serve her

and she's my religion

she gives me something
to believe in
dedicated to Breanna Evans.

the love of my life
Phoebe Hynes Dec 2018
I don’t change my sheets for days
after you visit.
My squished hands guide a lazy version of my body to
the bed that invites me to crawl on top of your dry sweat.
My torso sprawls into the dream of ******* transpired.
I like the nest that we created, lounging
against a mattress I pushed in the corner.
Tee shirts slouched into the crevices against the wall,
And my five pillows circling
our old tangled limbs.
;
Lust is a shield,
A disguise of telling your eyes where to look.
Eyelashes against eyelashes.
Your iris seized a blanket
And buried a dilated pupil underneath.
This is the facade of being naked.
You’re still wearing skin.
A mattress will not preserve sensuality,
But my quilt will hold my body together
Until I find the pants I threw across the carpet.
Micaela Nov 2018
i don't wish to be invisible
but i wish they'd never seen me
or heard my voice.

i wish to be known and i guess
also to be loved
without anyone ascribing a sense
of beautiful or **** to me.

please!
i wish you would expose me
for the brave comment
for the snide remark
for the gentle mention
for the valiant mistake
that i am.

but--stop! don't do it,
my pretty face is my shield
and if i weren't so scared
i would've already destroyed it.
i would've made my invisible visible
and you would all see what i am,
really.

don't do it

i wish i could do it for myself:
to be naked but not afraid
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