See? This is why running is essential to a man’s health! Out of breathe already. Well, in all fairness, I am not sprinting to warm up on this sunny day, I kind of very much shot someone in the face. I didn’t have to but that doesn’t matter now does it.
Well why did you shoot him?
Wait, what? Whose voice is this in my head? It’s probably just my head slowly loosing oxygen. Fine, if you must know, I was sleeping with his wife! HA! That would’ve been cooler. Unfortunately, I decided to take some stuff from an empty house, or what I thought was an empty house. Who the hell doesn’t come to their door after 5 door bells? You’re asking to get robbed then my friend. So yes, you can say I “broke in” to his house.
Oh god, How long have I been running? These cops don’t get tired? Are they going to chase me throughout the woods? These woods are so thick! So many trees! That’s good for the planet right? Great, someone is paying attention! ****, my legs have started to cramp!
You didn’t answer me, why did you shoot him?
Alright, my dying brain cells! I didn’t intend to shoot that man, he showed up out of nowhere, like a jump scare from those B grade horror films. They are much worse in real life. He didn’t need to bring out a gun with him! I didn’t have a weapon, it wasn’t a fair fight! Now, if you point a gun at me, I am surely going to defend myself at any given chance. Old man got really up close and then things got out of hands.
Funny thing is, He called the cops before he came down and tried to be a hero. All he had to do was stay in his room and let the cops show up. I would have turned myself in and probably a little jail time with some community service hours but no! My man had to come down with a gun and feel like a man! You feel manly now faceless *******!
Hello? No more questions? I guess that part of my head has died. And rightfully so! My lungs have given up, I am making sounds while inhaling and exhaling! That can’t be good. Also, tasting a bit of blood in my progressively drying mouth! Thank god for these trees for some shade!
Police constable yells “STOP! Turn yourself in! You got nowhere to run!”
Nowhere to run? What have I been doing this whole time? Not my fault the house was located at such a spot! And why should I turn myself in my good sir?
I broke into a man’s house and shot him in his ******* face! Yes it was an accident but will you believe that? Will You? My mom wouldn’t believe me man! My life is over! I don’t know much about law, but I am certainly looking at some kind of a life sentence. No sir!
Police constable yells “DROP YOUR WEAPON!”
My weapon? What weapon dude? Oh ****, I have been carrying the gun this whole time! WHY!?
I thought the gun problem was only limited to States! Why Oh Canada?
Okay, it is what it is now. I have the gun! Even if I turn myself in now, they have seen me with the weapon. I have zero case! I am a cold blooded killer who is now running away carrying the ****** weapon. Bad call Man!
Ah, this creek, I could just jump in it now! I don’t care if I drown; I’d give anything to drown in a creek! Hmm, that’s it then isn’t it? This must be a sign.
Let’s do a different math now. Creek is on my left and the gun is in my right hand. It’s perfect. It’s simply perfect. I wish I could apologize to all the people I caused any pain, not this last dude though, ***** him! I hope he is in hell!
Okay quickly now, creek is about to end.
It’s a Short story, hope you guys like it.