deliberation deliberate how different to consider; and to do. tell and wait show and stall. keep time in back pockets. fish for change and make a pittance. surely after words, came reactions, and after broken promises came sanctions.
surely after it stopped burning things began to grow. stories of salt, of salting. an act to crystallise and make barren, make bare.
starting ceasing. how similar to filling up, and filing down, a feeling.
i hated my body but today i realized that hate was never emerged from my heart it was the insecurity of others they sprinkled it like salt on me to feel superior and what a stupid soul i was just to fit in small size i hated my curves like i wasn't meant to be pretty as the standards were to small for my double XL size
who decides the beauty standards on parameters of body shapes sadly we all do, but from now on I'll do the justice to my body
i can't focus i'm stuck in a room with you and whatever i do seems to speak to you i can't think i'm inside your skin and although i try harder i can't seem to win
i can't get out of it can't get out of this hole that's 6 feet deep and taking my soul her name is piper and she's not a fighter and neither am i but i have to try for her
she's not as pretty as funny or witty but she's someone that says she likes me she's not a poet or anything close to it but at least she holds me when i'm so lonely
she stays in my head or lying in my bed shows me things i never thought i wanted to see and she calls me things that at any other time would make me cry but somehow it's nice to be told what i am by her
how do i tell her everything is wrong this is wrong this is so so wrong i'm so wrong