Rollin up at school
Mates and I loving to fool
Graffiti on the walls
Bullies decking the halls
An out-of-place Christmas
Dis this ***** I'll dish licks for spits
Revenge counteracted and counters counteract
Mother ******* follow law of Chemistry: react
And that's that, it's a fact
Evil reigns supreme
I'm evil too yet Devils be
Hating on me
You see?

There's no justice just depression
No real law just suppression
It's hard to imagine
That a devils invention
Is invested in protection
Law
And Order for Chaos
Does it work?
Nope
I walk down the street see six ******* blazing dope
Walk into school toilets and herb is in the air
******* blow smoke in teachers ears
They don't care
There's no prayer to save those so gone
The world is a cruel place and erases those when they are alone

So we band together
Rule of strength and defence
Is for us altogether
Never sharing secrets in our minds we be keeping
We stay awake to 8 past 8 in the morning, no sleeping
No rest for the wicked
I guess I'm just sick of *******
Because every lyric I spit
Falls ******* deaf ears
Still listening?

I reminisce blue skies
That I see through crystal clear tears
No solution or absolution to resolve this malicious premonition
The worlds in despair
No repair
Disrepair
Fire flashing embers swirl and smoke is in the air

We destroy and conquer and thrive off death
Fighting others killing hope until we pass our final breath
If this is a test
God we failed
Eons ago
I'd like to rest peacefully now
If you don't mind
I just want you to know
Action brings reaction, reaction brings pain
Don't question the truth
It's ruthless but we ****** in the brain
Insane
Now if you don't mind
I got business to attend to
And a brand new life to find
Or a new rap to recite

We're doomed, we failed,
Good didn't prevail
Evil conquered long ago
And sanity set sail

To somewhere better,
Perhaps another land
Maybe there peace and hope
Is something people understand

And prosper from it

Wake me up I'm falling
Stuttering and stalling
With nowhere to run, and no place to hide
A beast deep inside,
Is rising

Rise, like a tidal wave
Rise, to every lie they gave
Rise, for it is your time,
To slay all these haters with power of rhyme

Freedom of expression helps fight depression...

Moment of silence
On an empty stomach
Then comes a rumble
At the smell of apple pie crumble

Moon is out of this world
Annie is our favourite girl
I hope no-one else sees this
And starts singing about my *****

****** mind in a slaughter house
Anti-Ducks about this life
But with a Kiwi accent if I may
Tis "Anti-Ducks about this life"

We went outside,
Still high
Decided to munch and play games
Forgot our phones outside

Smash the boundaries,
Tear down the walls
Won't stop tearing
Til' we seen Ben's *****

Break down barriers,
Smack 'em down
Walking past ducker-*******
Delirious like a clown

Smiling all the way
With a crazy little laugh
On this spectacular journey
Into the past

It's time to get to the end of this family rhyme
We all pitched in with whatever we could find
It's beautiful and grand, a real sight to see
This Mafia family of mine

It's our time our life
Crazy running red lights
Grand stand, stage band time to curtain call
But it never ends, we fam!

(Tight!)

*Annie's the funniest girl
Her hair blazes like sunset
But she keeps talking about my *****
I mean seriously...
She done yet???

I forgive too quickly,
To me this is sickening
The beast inside of me, unleashed
Wishes to be a blade, unsheathed

Released into the world
Spinning, twist and twirl
Manipulate events, unfurl
A masterpiece, coloured swirls

It makes me feel helpless
I have too many morals
I follow them whether they help me
Or alone, I call

I have warned them
It's the last chance they will get
The satisfaction may be real
But I may end up in regret

I had a girlfriend once
I'd say we were alike
In more ways than one

We went crazy over each other
Gifts in public
Different gifts in private

I gave my heart
She gave hers too
I loved her but I cared for my wellness

For once in my life I considered myself
As a person who needed protection
There was an acid present that I've no place to voice

She gave her heart
I wrenched mine back
I left her and felt awful

That acid turned to venom
And it poisoned me so
It was either that or my ultimate destruction

There's cures for venom
Not so for ruins

A rush, a thrill
Heart won't chill
Exhilarating
Mind debating

Should I stop or should I go?
Drop it high or drop it low?
Bass from lips to hit the floor
Reacting well, they want some more

I box the beats, I beat the box
Some say I ****, others I rock
I really really give no f_cks
I'll keep on going, I can't stop

It's hard to tell your friends when you're feeling pretty bad
And elaborate on the situations that have made you sad
It's even harder to tell my Father just yesterday I felt like dying
Yet flawlessly and effortlessly I can tell my Psychologist without trying

It's ****** isn't it? That I trust a stranger more than the family
I grew up with, lived with, the worst parts of a better me
Some days I look around and ask myself if I am proud of
What I have achieved and whether or not it is enough

Satisfaction from the parts where I know I've done well
Disappointment at the aspects that will **** me straight to Hell
So I question life, I wield a knife, makes me so depressed I self-harm
So now you know why I bear the scars, up and down my arm

People hurt
Perfection is impossible
Efforts are put into both

No such thing as a perfect life
You can wish to be better, perhaps you can
But nobody can be the best

I tried to be the best
I wanted to be the best friend a guy can be
I have failed in this conquest

I placed efforts into Hippocrates Oath:
"First, Do No Harm"
Yet without meaning to I harmed anyway

Not just myself
No, this isn't me, me, me
As it always (usually) is

This is for my mates
And my friends
Difference being the genders involved

Mates are male,
Friends; female
Notice both start with the same letter?

That's me,
Organising things into some such logical order
To prevent falling into complete and utter chaos

It's a fixation of mine,
It just so happens it's also the way my mind works
Which even I, at times, fail to understand

My own mind; a concept, an idea,
One that at times fails itself
One that find self-harm acceptable, even understandable

I am such a hypocrite,
Instead of Hippocrates it's Hypocrites Oath:
"First, believe you won't do harm, believe it's bad,
And then do it anyway".

Some of this makes sense to you, Reader, I assume
Assuming that, of course, you can assume to know
What I assume you assume I'm talking about

Still following?
Okay, then I'm just rambling
Talking for no reason other than that I hate silence

I hate silence almost as much as I hate myself, at times
Silence is empty, like what I feel frequently
A genuine smile is a smile I wish to wear
(Not just to the Formal night I will be attending next year)

But how does one smile
When one has seen the truth of this world?
Cold, calculating and cruel, vicious and relentless

There is more wars then there are words to stop them
Only one world to hold these wars,
That at times words help to start

Not just talking about actual wars, either
Arguments that become full-blown hatred
Pain dosage as high as the painkillers to prevent them,
If not, higher...

I don't know what to think of myself,
Or this world that I live in
I've contemplated suicide on multiple accounts
Too "*****"to follow through...

But I have never done it, left, that is
I tried many, many, many times
But something... pulls me back

It's friendship. Family. Honour and Loyalty
I cannot leave those precious few I have
Until they themselves are gone

As long as everyone keeps living,
I guess I have to as well
Thank you for reading
*If you made it this far...

Fearing and seeing
Death, wars and bleeding
Hearts, lives receding
Like the tide
It's turning

Inside, it hurts
Painkillers don't work
Demons, in night, lurk
This fire is burning!

I will not die,
I will survive
Try my hardest
To live a life
Worth singing about!

Drowned out in music
F_ck it, let's do this
Flips up a hood
Burn the world, it's what's good!

Mesmerised, little flame
Life is one big game
Play it how you want
Just don't be mad when it's gone!

I will not die
I will survive
Try my hardest
To live a life
Worth singing about!

Time ticks, clocks wear
Down and they all tear
Rip the time they represent
They all sound unpleasant

Ticking and clicking
In the night they keep working
Away at my sanity
Sandpaper to insanity

I keep pushing, he pulls back
It's hard for me to relax
When I go to sleep at night
It's a hard-won fight!

I will not die
I will survive
Try my hardest
To live a life...
At all

I can't stay
I must go
Lost my way
There's no hope
The light fades
And I choke
On the blood
That I wrote
Into my skin
It's no sin
To tell you
I wish the end
Where did it begin?
From heartbreak
To broken friends...

I tried hard
Got nowhere
Saw Death
Got scared
Saw truth
It's not fair
Saw everything
You ever did!

Look I'm sorry
But how does one find hope
When all hope is gone?

You took from me
You made me mad
I realised the truth
It made me sad

Something I loved
Cost so much
Retribution to me
Is not enough

Revenge and strength
A broken gift
Tables will turn
The tide will shift

Karma strikes
I hope it hits you hard
Because you gave me pain,
Both sad and mad

Respect and accept
The memories you regret
Because each is a lesson
That you'd better not forget

A lesson to learn
And some time to burn
It may be quite difficult
Some are hard to discern

But don't be concerned
Unless you haven't learnt
Only then will you know
How much revenge can hurt

I was once told,
"A wise man forgives
An even wiser man doesn't forget
Because how would you learn your lesson
If you never remembered?"

Something else that ties in with that:
"Experience defines who you are. If you never try, never succeed or fail, then you are truly nothing "

Today I looked into the mirror
Saw a little glimmer
Of hope
Even though
I know
Right now it looks like I have none

I just had five teeth pulled
Out of my skull
I know I look real ugly
But I'm looking at the future

I will need to wear braces
I get them in two weeks
But at least nobody can tease me
For being so **** fugly!

They can't taunt my teeth
Because I'm finally getting them fixed

You think you're so good?
Exploiting someone like that?
Having yourself a little fun
Don't give a **** if it's bad?

Well *******, you are ****!
When you hear me come
You better run!
I can **** you easily without a gun!

Send you to the morgue, start saying goodbye
The last words you'll say before you die!
I hope I'm the one to slit your throat
And how's this for a little side-note:

I don't even ******* KNOW you!!!

A flash, a crack,
Twirling smoke
Sharp smell of powder
On the fume, slight choke

A flick, a twirl,
A clinking sound
Empty shells
Upon the ground

Don't even try
I'm locked and loaded

I know you, you know me
We are one and the same
So how do you fight yourself
When it's a never-ending game?

Everything I do,
He counteracts as I expect
And every dark, insidious move he makes
Is a struggle to reject

When I was always told
That I'm not good enough
As a young kid I handled it well
I just shrugged it off

So when did opinions start mattering?
When did I become so influenced?
Was it opportunity, coincidence
Or some other, unknown incident?

How I've battled for so long
I guess remains an enigma
Even to the one in concern
Raises a puzzling air, a stigma

Myself, my misery, a mystery
Decipher it if you can
For the nine years I've tried so hard
Yet I still don't *understand

You're trying to tug my strings
I never liked playing puppets
I hated every type of doll
What is that, whatever just burn it

Think you can master me?
Be my master mind?
Try mastering disaster
That molds itself as easily as plaster!

*Love me or hate me,
I really don't care
I never asked for either, whatever
Just make sure you don't mess up my hair

I leaned against the bench
Just praying for my end
A memory slipped in unnoticed
And then I came to my senses

He wants me to be like this
He wants me to question life
What's a life worth living
If you just want to die

Not sure where I'm going
And I don't care where I've been
But if there's one thing that I know for sure
This pain doesn't end

Not sure where I'm going
And I don't care where I've been
But if there's one thing that I know for sure
This pain doesn't end

Just when I'm back on track
He reappears again
Disguised himself as past events
Pretending to be my friend

I started having thoughts of death
How far could I go?
Before I lost all reason to live
I guess we'll never know!

Not sure where I'm going
And I don't care where I've been
If there's one thing that I know for sure
This pain never ends

I tried to call out to you
And you turned away
A world once filled with vivid colours
Became a misty grey

The Sun rose like another moon
Pale and fake
Another reason to add to my list
Of the scars I bear today

Not sure where I'm going
Don't care where I've been...

I don't give a **** where I'm going
Don't give a **** where I've been
One thing that I know for sure
This pain doesn't end

One thing that I know for sure
This pain never ends
I tried to be happy once and all I know is
It never happened again!

One thing that I know for sure
I've tried my very best
But it's hard to leave this world behind
Because I'd never know what I missed...

So I'll stay...

I can see both sides, perceiving reality
Anything less than the best and they call it insanity
Sanity draining faster than the eye can blink
0.33 seconds, doesn’t take that long to think
About this divided world we live in, divided by hate,
A hatred intertwined with a crazy conception called Fate
Racial discrimination dominating this life that we’re hating
With death we dance and life’s a chance that we’ve been dating
And when life dumps you, you waltz with Death himself
You leave others behind and it’s just you and yourself
You’ve always been alone even when you’re with your friends
And every day you go home, waiting for the end
You open the box, and load the Glock
**** the plastic pistol to your head and you rock
Back and forth, nervous anticipation
Life before your eyes and death in your mind
So the next time you figure out an epiphany like this
Turn it into a rhyme that one day you’ll reminisce
And tell it to everyone, tell the whole world
About life and death, chance and fate and the way the twist and twirl.

I'm tired of chasing,
Unwillingly hating
Everything and anything
That makes my mind all hazy
Maybe
If I understood things just a little
Better
Then maybe I'd be squeaky clean
From now till
Forever

But I love to hate, and hate born from society
That unfair mother-f_cker that destroyed the best of me
My own little sister
Whenever she needs comfort
Turns away from me and toward
Her supposed loving mother
Who harmed me with wicked lies
That made me die inside
And I cried
Determined into her past I pried
And I found something
I should've let go
But it's hard to release a part of your heart
When it's bound to you,
Y'know?

But I tried
It's a struggle to push through everyday
Memories and pictures that within my own mind
Sway
Amplified
By the natural instinct, desire to hide
To hide away someplace,
Give up and
Just
Die

But I gotta stay strong
Fight my urge to wrong
I at least owe that to a "happy family"
Those who wronged me
I see this with clarity
But it's the part of me that takes pride
In donating to charity
My split and splitting divisions
Mindset, shows
Insanity

But not the monster I hold
In the darkness he grows
Old
And even though I hold him
So close
He grows bold
And I try to make him obey
Doesn't do what he's told
This vicious beast of fangs and claws he
Loves to roar!

But control is necessary
Others better be wary
Of angering
The demon that can be
Me
So please, just leave me alone
Because I'm an archive that holds everything you ever
Did wrong
To *me!

A girl with a gun and nowhere to run
The last bullet loaded, a mission to be done
Completion will defeat her demons, her beast,
The voice that keeps her awake at night, prevents her sleep

It compels and yells at her, gets her to cut
Her wrists are slit and she knows its ******
So she clicks the safety off, and draws the slide
The bullet and her skull like planets collide

Looking down at her body, she sees the blood
A tidal wave of red, a sluggish flood
Her sight fades to black, and then it's gone
The weight off her chest and in Death; alone

She forgot about me...

What keeps me up all night
Is my own vivid imagination
Creating swirling embers, smothering smoke
And the bright flashes and crackle of flame

What keeps her up all night
Is she simply cannot sleep
And maybe she can't sleep
Partly because of me

Either way, we are both maniacs
And I know I'm happy to be one

So will you burn the world with me?

I get told to let it go
But I try and just don't know
If it's possible to let things lie
As still as a man willing to die

I've tried before; it didn't work
Instead of peace I went bezerk
All my efforts, meant a total of nothing
And this pain is why I sing

I don't know if I'll be okay
I don't know if I'll be alright
Maybe, someday,
But tonight things are the same
It hasn't changed

It hasn't changed, I will not lie
When you ask for news I will not deny
The truth, the facts, the whole **** case
That at times I wish I was erased

When I get put down I get back up
This vicious cycle never stops
I've tried to break this bonding chain
But I wouldn't sing were it not for pain

I don't know if I'll be okay
I don't know if I'll be alright
Maybe, someday,
But tonight things are the same
And it hasn't changed!

Will it ever change?
It hasn't changed!
Will it ever change?
Because it's boring when this pain
Stays the same

A kindling
A fire
An inferno
A pyre
Smouldering away within

A bitterness
A taste
A poison
Called fate
Combined and I might just sin

Me, me, me
Always me
Hiding away the monster
Hoping that nobody sees

I slip up sometimes
And a shudder through my spine
My head twitches to one side
And everything is red lines

Time for me to rise and make it end, once again
That voice in my head always putting me on edge
I talk to him sometimes, people think that I'm crazy
And perhaps I am, maybe, just maybe...

I growl in anger too,
A deep guttural sound
That makes people step away
That makes others turn around

I'm scared of my own monster
Perhaps you should be too
Because when I've had a **** day,
Target marked and he's hunting you

You play innocent
You're the one who started this
You think it's acceptable to play with fury
By calling him a *****?

I'm sorry Bex
It seems you've been misled
I was a normal caring citizen
Of this fabulous site where I can mend

A helping hand is a healing hand
Or so I first believed
But Woody is bad and gives me reason to write
So I guess looks can deceive

I pity those by his side
He seems respectable, right?
Yet when he calls you a ***** for no reason
Well if not for that, i coulda liked the guy

Nice try Woody. I'm not as stupid as you believe. All I have to do is signout, search my name and then check my activity. Unblock me and take your punishment like a man. You're the real coward here. I'm still in school man, does it feel good to kick a kid in the ribs?

Every room is empty
And every seat is bare
There's no-one home I'm here alone
Yet still I feel the stares

It follows me into my home
When I sleep I'm not alone
I shrug it off but it won't get lost
It's with me when I roam

The feeling of being watched
It gives me paranoia
I twist and turn, I feel the burn
Around my neck it coils

This weight on my shoulders
Combined with this glare
Buck and roll, duck and dodge
It's with me everywhere I go

I'd say goodnight
Except you wouldn't hear
The misery dripping from dry lips
So frozen with fear

I'd say goodbye
Except I'd see you again
But it'll hurt watching a stranger
When they were your friend

I'd say good luck
But I know that you won't need it
You already have everything
So I guess you won't receive it

I'd say come back
Only it'd hurt twice as bad
Because I'm used to sadness
But I hate getting mad

And I'd swing from the rope
For my sins I would choke
But you'd probably cut me down again
So that path is a no

I guess I can't quit
I guess I'm not done
Maybe somewhere out in the world
I can have some fun

I wanna feel that again..,

Yeah I get it Woody
You ******* show off
You're a ******* archaeologist
Go dig up a new thing to impress me

So I see you love dogs?
What's a ******* wolf, *****?
"Uh I don't know isn't it a canine"
So too is a wolf
You love us?
Come get some

A sliver of air on the wind
Cold, but familiar
Then she kept going
Saying she wasn't good for me
Saying goodbye everyday
I convinced her to stay
And I stayed by the frosty air that was my
"Love"
My "Baby boo"
My Gabs
But today she left,
And now I'm colder than I was before...
They all leave... I guess she was no different

I look down at my arms
All I see is scars
A mistake I made
When Nightmares wouldn't pass

That's my self-critic
He's called Nightmare
And he says that I'm worthless
Whispering to me **** that ain't fair

And sometimes I can't help it
I listen
And I watch the blood flow
In the dull light it glistens

And I see it, picture it
Before it even happens
Then I grab up my razor or knife
And all I feel is nothing

Blood flows,
Time slows
And in my rage
I let Nightmare be my boss

I go to work
So mad, furious and bezerk
Spiralling me, turning me
Into the Nightmare that is me

A part that I hate
He's so ******* ******* this
This soul that only wanted to
Make others smile by pulling the ****

Every glance in the mirror
Seeing the spitting image of my dad
And mad because
I could never be that

That man
Worth ten times what I could ever be
And all this I see
Every time my eyes wander

Over a reflective surface
The pain he keeps bottled up inside
No **** it hurts
He looks into a puddle, that
Shows him his own sorrow

And it endless
And like a newborn baby
Helpless, defenceless
And as always, friendless

They say appreciate what you got,
I got nothing
I sometimes wish I could turn it
Into something

But who is really there for me,
When I need them most
And I bet you all probably
Raise your hands in support

But I know next to none of you
And you can call this a pity party, if you will
But it's the only sorta party I get invited to
So pardon me while I pop this pill

The one that takes me to Wonderland
Right before I die
The one that makes me fade away
At the end of the night