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Viseract Jul 2016
I had a pleasant dream
Still caught in my memory
It was just you and I
And you were beautiful
Shining with a blessed light

It made me smile, and I woke
This feeling made me choke
I haven't felt like this in an eternity
When all I have is ******* making fun of me?

Wait, wait, wait...
I'm happy?
For you, Maddii
Viseract Jul 2016
This happiness whispers
From the shadows
Just outta reach, that success you reach for
The work and effort, sweat and pain you put into
Whatever it is you be doing
At the time when you so close
To the finish line
And somebody stops you
Blocks you
Defeats you
And there's a parade in your name
But not to say that you tried
But to put you to shame
Because it wasn't enough and
You thought you were tough before
But how can you stay strong when your friends leave
And slam the door?
Locking you in with the hatred within
And even in your mind you see the Devils' grin
Telling you that failure isn't an option
It's a sin
That you weren't able to do something
Something easy or maybe something hard
You try to push on but all you hear is
And they keep pushing
Pushing you when all you need is help
They make you squeal and yelp
"******* I'm a fck-up
All this time I've been lying"

"I wasn't strong,
I was weak and I was wrong
Thinking I could get my head into a place
Where I don't belong"
And in honour of those
Who try to compose
When there never really was nobody else
To help
I wrote a song
And hopefully you can hear the feeling when you sing along

Because you know it's wrong
And you've known all along
Why can't we help each other and get along?
Why must we hate somebody
When we have nobody
To love
And hatred is driving you
Providing you
With strength
But not the strength to say
"That's enough?"

I see guys eyeing each other off
Flexing muscles and spitting just to prove they tough
Glaring down at you
Follow you
Just to make sure the intimidation game is
Affecting you
So what is there to do?
I mean, when you got nothing to lose?
Nobody by your side that you fear getting bruised?
Do you cruise?
Walk on by?
Or let fly?
"I'm sick of this sh
t man
Give up before I end this

Do you stand for strength?
Do you stand for justice?
Do you stand up for the weak,
the incapable, sick and the helpless?
Or do you just ignore it?
Not wanting to be the next target?
Knowing if you mess with them
You won't get away with it?
Is it worth it?
Are they worth the risk?
Is it fair to watch someone else get dissed?
And ****** on?
The real rain on the parade?
Is it fair to stand by
Back turned,
Watch the light fade?

No it isn't
So don't you dare tell me you tried
Because you stood there when I was dissed on
You hid yourself away
When I needed someone to trust
But instead of being a hero
You watched as I got fcked!
Asked if I was okay when all I had was bruises
And bruisers bruising me
Mocking me
For my Aspergers and divided family!

So don't you dare turn to me
Just keep walking
And I'll walk the other way
If you even try to start talking
I don't need to hear your story
I don't need to hear your lies
I've heard it all before
So you can't begin to deny
By saying you was waiting
You wanted them to end me
So don't try to sway me with your mockery
Called Sympathy

Whispers from the dark
And like the light during Winter
Fades fast as I stare across the park
A rather lengthy rap/slam, I know, but I was in the mood
Viseract Jul 2016
Yeah you, *******!
If you're gonna get mad at being trolled,
You troll,
Don't you dare take it out on my pack
Now I'm a "woof *****"
I was a Phoenix before,
But reincarnation got the better of me this time round
Allons-y, mofongulu!
In case you don't get that, roughly, that's
Later, *******!
Un block me and face me like the man your mother wished you would grow up to be. Oh, and you ain't innocent, so don't even think about kicking that **** around. You ain't even on my follower list
Viseract Jul 2016
When you knock the side of your head,
Is anyone home?
Or is the only response
That dull echo?

As dull and as thick as the ******* who owns it
Buys his comments from others, yeah you loan it
You know it's ****** how I can't even be myself
In virtual reality without being picked on by someone else?!

Do I really threaten you by being an up-and-comer?
Do you run home to your basement, just to tell your mother?
******* your thumb and ******* cousins to forget your troubles
But it never works, I'm always here, you daft mother-******!

I'm a mother ******* ghost and I'mma haunt your soul
Turn stupidity to comedy and swallow it all whole
Make it fresh content, regardless of the consequence
Til you leave me alone, ******, and let me be myself!

You know nothing about me, do they call you Jon Snow?
You know nothing *****, so pack your bags and catch the last bus home
You're just embarrassing yourself, you're a laughing stock
Look at all the comments I made telling you to go **** yourself!

Do you see me now, huh? Am I what you expected?
That "woof *****" who by being himself got himself rejected?
Why can't you appreciate others man, and stop being your lack of brains' slave
And give this **** up before I contemplate digging your grave
Yeah, see what I mean? I'm just gonna keep turning it into content. You seem hell-bent on making me successful, and giving me more to write about.... as one poet to another, thanks! XD
Viseract Jul 2016
I'm a poet, beatboxer,
Gamer, Expert procrastinator
But not loved by you apparently.

Who sits behind the screen like a little *****,
Makes your profile private
So I can't respond to things like
"Exactly what I'd expect a 16 year old little ***** to say"
You only make me mad by your nature
Probably a 50 year-old ******* and troll
Who gets off by taunting younger ones
Because he's too much of a **** to pick on someone
His own size and age,
Having no friends or relatives that love him
Nobody that respects the ******* he is
Probably does drugs
Dropped out of school the year he learnt the word "****"
Didn't follow much of a lifestyle
Blew kids off for twenty bucks
I mean, money is money
Shares his mothers basement with twelve cousins,
Male and female,
That he ***** on the daily
The only action he really gets
And when they aren't there
Climbs out of his trollhole
To **** with the wrong people

They call me Phoenix
Because I roast beats
And pedophiles
Like yourselves

You got a reaction
Question is,
Was it what you expected?
I just laughed when I saw the hate
Viseract Jun 2016
A two word couple rarely used
In genuine terms, at least
But all too often, more than abused
Never in response to treat

And apologies are just the same
Said so carelessly, so carefree
Follows suit after a name
But meaningless, sadly

What are words without their meaning?
When used out of context
It meant something at the beginning
But the question is what’s next?

Will opinions come to have no value?
How about symbols, or hand signals?
As I said, use and abuse
So used the tongue does tingle

Compare that to human life
What makes us so unique?
We all have opinions and advice
And without being asked, openly critique

We push others down so we can get up
Why don’t we just learn to swim?
So we can go for long enough
Without bending someone to our whim

A life forced to enforce our own
Power corrupts, and corrupts absolutely
And these maddened actions we must condone
And do so resolutely.

Why do we keep ruining lives?
Not just others, but also our own
We punish either with words like knives
And suffer all alone

I preferred to shut my mouth
And say what doesn’t need saying
Everything would be what I’d talk about
But my emotions just kept on praying

Hiding behind a veil
That was a master façade
My smile hid all detail
So to myself I said “Au Revoir”

But they could not hide forever
My darkness lifted a little
So I tried piecing myself together
Labelled “Handle with Caution, for I am Brittle.”

But despite how hard I tried
I failed to be whole
My best interests were defied
And darkness enveloped my soul

What I once hid behind
Was now a part of me
When I realised, I died inside
And self-consciously admit defeat

My hands guided by hatred
For the weakness that was within
Energy so sapped I became faded
And my Nightmares would soon begin

For a year I found it hard to sleep
As I watched my friends be Butchered
With woe and sorrow I began to weep
In helplessness I was snookered

My friend had an idea for me
One I never dreamt
To try and incite a lucid dream
And to have my promise be kept

That I would protect my friends
No matter what the cost
A brave mental battle, with no happier end
And once done, I knew all was not lost

But inside my mind I found my meaning
Even through my lack of dreaming
That life is best had when not sleeping
And reminiscing memories of bleeding

Life is an experience
That defines who you are
Fill it with extravagance
And man will you go far
Or perhaps would this be better for my assignment than "Too Much, Too Little" or "Remember?" Please let me know
Viseract Jun 2016
I watch the years advance
Ring-a-rosies in the park
A-tishoo, A-tishoo,
Strength from things that never **** you
these aren't in order, that's the fun of it. That is something you can do :)
Viseract Jun 2016
I reminisce
These memories
They haunt me
As they would you
If only you knew
What I’ve been through

I’ve tried too long and I’ve tried too hard
To let go of my demons, to let go of my past
History repeated again and again
But I can’t let go
And it never ends

I remember a time where happiness ruled
But over time the sun faded and darkness pooled
In my mouth, down my throat and into my heart
Corrupting me, turning me from the light to the dark

Sometime ago, I sought an answer
To a prayer I never wished to voice
That I could find a way to end this pain
But I chose the wrong choice

I made it physical
Because I hated being emotional
(Men don’t cry)
But despite my attempts
To replace what I couldn’t stand
(Soon after, I wished, to die)

And my wish came true!

I became addicted to what tears me apart
I let the blade through my skin, and into my heart
The one thing I turned to, that never mocked who I was
Was the one thing that destroyed me, within my lust

I suffered needlessly, I was my own scar
I didn’t wear them they were me, right from the start
The moment the steel brushed my skin
Was the one day I faced my end

So hear my words, don’t get caught in this trap
No matter the problem, bullied or harassed,
It will swallow your soul
A demon to devour you whole
And leave you with nothing but regret

I reminisce
These memories
They haunt me
As they would you
If only you knew
What I’ve been through
And why I’ve done the things
I continue to do

I’m seeing someone about all this
Because I have problems waiting to be fixed
Things I can’t handle on my own
But then again, I’ve always been alone
Need to use either this poem or "Too Much, Too Little" for a school assignment (English) but I don't know which! Tell me in the comments below, and also why. Arigato!
Viseract Jun 2016
My Father said,
“Sometimes, Conor, you talk too much
And talk too little.”

I’ll let you figure that out on your own
So here I go:

I started off as shy
Didn’t like to meet people’s eyes
I was floating in the skies
So when I dropped I was surprised

I began to talk more,
Sometimes I just don’t shut up
There’s so much I have to say
But of time there’s not enough

My Primary years were years of torture
Those twisted words a killer
“Stupid. *****. ******. Loser”
I shut my eyes and mouth, head down, just kept cruising
Hoping. Praying
That someone would maybe save me

But I was unlucky
No-one came to rescue me
So pretty soon I hated the world that surrounded me
A father gone, overseas, fighting a war.
Because when it comes to family, some things are worth dying for.

Well pretty soon after, I wanted to die
When I found out that I wasn’t quite alright
My difference wasn’t me just being a shy guy
That untroubled dragon, unburdened, flying in the sky

Because I was diagnosed with Asperger’s at the age of eight
Chance hated me, it seemed, and so too did fate
Adding fuel to the fire, an internal pyre
That consumed me, hungrily, leaving me broken and tired

So my innocence was ignorance
You can tell by the evidence
I wanted an exit
Another way I could end this

Years down the track, and who am I now?
Am I that joker you thought I was, head up and proud?
The friend to the friendless, my speech is just endless
But at the end of the day I’m only pretending

Because I’m not okay, I’m a broken part
To a greater whole of some use, just needing a kick-start
My friends and family, you see, they disagree with me
Saying worn is not broken, and either way it isn’t easy

It hasn’t been easy, torn by the truth
And mocked for my teeth, hit at times, left bruised
Sticks and stones may break my bones and all that other ****
By words hit hard too and at times it’s hard to deal with it

Now I don’t seek attention, just tried to let them know
That I was struggling and there were some things I couldn’t let go
From the first time I was called “Bucky” to the handle of a blade
I wanted to tear apart all the **** they had made

So I started hacking away at myself
Trying to find a better someone else
The answer lies not in blood spilled, or the steel used to slash through
But in your mind hides a better you, a person with a better view

It just takes time to uncover
The century’s best discover
An artefact, buried, hidden, within your soul
Just clear your problems
Try and solve them
And you’ll be whole

“Sometimes, Conor,
You talk too much
And talk too little”

Do you understand?
I need help deciding whether to use this one or "Remember" as my poem for a school assignment. Please let me know in the comments below! Arigato!
Viseract May 2016
My honesty is brutal
Like me, honesty is a killer
Honesty stains my hands like blood
And I wear it like a mask

You wanted the truth
I gave it to you
I'm sorry it's brutal,
*But I don't care
Here it is. An inescapable truth about yours truly
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