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I'm prophetic and live my life through others words,
I'm socratic and will accept death when it's my turn.
All my knowledge is fulfilled with conjecture,
I'm painfully obsequious when involving niche lectures.

I'm fitting with paranoia and it riddles my brain;
Obsessed with the thoughts of passing away,
As time slips away quicker and quicker everyday.

My perception is perceived but acknowledge my sentience and you'll see;
There's a dark soul deep inside of me.

Tonight feels like my last fight as I write with a knife;
My sallow eyes drift aside as my hope for a better life resides,
And the pen I call a knife inches closer to stealing my life.
As I lay back and stare into the black corner of this one-track world of false fact;
I realise in my transient fit of thought that there's no going back.

My perception is perceived but acknowledge my sentience and you'll see;
There's a dark soul deep inside of me.
Im not upset.
Im just lost.
Not knowing were to go.
But i do know I dont wanna be here
4 years ago you walked into my life,
I remember when you first walked up the stairs.
You were extraordinary and your beauty was knife-like,
The impact you'd have in my life; I wasn't prepared.

You tamed me; my anger, my sorrow, and my pain,
Taught me how to appreciate things in a new way.
I didn't reciprocate for a bit and for that I apologise,
And if I could go back in time I would; that's no lie.

Everyday I need to hold you tight,
My days aren't the same without your dulcet voice.
I love the way you sing me to sleep in those insomnia ridden nights,
I promise to hold you, cherish you and your lasting light,
Elisé, I will love you for the rest of my life.
you weren't there today. you weren't in the same bus as me. you weren't in the same train as me. you weren't in the same city as me. but worst thing is your eyes didn't met mine again, those warm brownish eyes weren't there and this hurts me the most. i miss you so **** much, oh really i do.
my heart dropped.
i used to be so in love,
a feeling blessed upon me from above.
and the girl i loved,
made my heart jump.
and in such an amazing way,
whenever i thought about her my sordid thoughts would melt away.

and somewhere along the years; she twisted and changed,
she wasn't the same person; in only a matter of days.
as if the innocence and eloquence of her person had died,
but i fell to my knees whenever i reciprocated eyes.

the girl i knew died a long time ago,
i can't even recall her eye colour; blue, green, hazel? i don't know.
the girl i knew fizzled away,
her heart grew cold, and the love got frayed.
and maybe i shouldn't of saved her,
it would of saved me a lot of ink and paper.

because the girl i loved died a long time before i,
the girl i loved died,
the girl i love died.
A wretched boy slumped through the winter snow,
Ashes scattered; the remains of whom he'd once known.
He clambered, shook, screamed and fell down,
And his knees pummelled into the cold winters ground.

He began to decline into the pebbles, snow, and dirt,
As the blood seeped through his paisley shirt.
Each breath became more withered and cold,
He grew beastly with fear of not growing old.

Just as the soul started it's ascent into the clouds,
He caught the shadow of an ashen haired shroud.
His soul was saved, captured, and regained,
But once a boys soul starts to leave; it never fits the same again.
When she looked me in the eyes,
My heart collapsed into a black hole of love and ecstasy.
When she severed our ties,
My heat collapsed into a black hole of emptiness and entropy.
i just had some confused feelings today. you really weren't in my head and i really thought that i maybe don't like you that much? maybe i just liked our moment, the moment where you saved me. but it's evening now, i'm sitting here in my room and i just can't stop missing you. my heart hurts but i'm also happy, because i will see you in two days. i really hope to see you and i really hope that you'll notice me again. don't ignore me, please. my heart wouldn't take it. today is the day where i have realized that i really do like you and not the moment between us. tell me what to do, please. just tell me what to do.
it's not working
She wakes up everyday,
To her the sky is always lined in grey.
She breaks down in a pit,
And her mind is so corrupt and split.

She covets for answers to what she desires,
As she gaits on a tightrope wire.
Barbed wire knots around her heart,
It constricts with every decision her mind can't bare to start.

She can't bare to think,
With everything that piles up; her soul starts to shrink.
The parables that play out so well in books,
Doesn't seem feasible on Hades sordid hook.

With all good stories luck starts to change,
Even those in the darkest of abyss.
Though some skies are dark and grey,
Each new day brings a new day.

Tomorrow she might wake up and the sky may be clear,
And facing obsidian decisions won't be riddled with fear.
Then small happiness will reignite her soul,
And so a peaceful mind won't seem such an impossible goal.
There once was a boy,
Lonely and stripped of all joy.
He burnt his skin,
As his soul withered within.

As the days passed,
He coveted for the days that'd be his last.
And all his acquaintances shrugged,
But it was his grave they dug.

All those nights alone in a room,
On parchment pieces he sculpted his doom.
And with prowess he slipped into the unknown,
Into the **** where youth and laughter go.
I wrote this as a modernised homage to 'Suicide in the Trenches' by Siegfried Sassoon
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