Claire 1d

Why am I sad? I do not know why,
But I do know one thing, I do not want to cry.

Nothing compels me to weep streams of tears
Inside there is only silence and fear,
The reason for this to me seems unclear,
But I worry if it grows it may be severe.

The quiet inside me does not have a name,
A force rumbles inside unable to tame,
And while alone in my thoughts I am to blame,
Wrestling inside- will I ever feel the same?

Sometimes for a moment and sometimes for a week,
Sometimes there is confidence, even if it’s bleak
But even that is ruined for I am my worst critique
My ability to feel quickly grows weak.

I am forced to put on a show for you
Because if I don’t what will I do
Others cannot know for it will change their view
A secret I must keep and not reveal a clue

Inside a hole- I have been stuck for a while
My worries inside stack in a pile
So long am I gone i forgot how to smile
Inside my head I am cast in exile

I do not want to cry, so please don’t ask
In the heat of frustration i lie there and bask
Though simple, I resent every task
Through life i wander concealed by a mask

Why am I sad? I do not know why,
But I do know one thing, I do not want to cry.

g 6d

dear you,
i’m writing this
to ask you
to plead you
to beg you,

please stay with me
for one last time
before it all
comes to an end.

i look forward
to your prompt reply.
regards,
me.

structures are good, things that don't change are good.
Bad Vibes Dec 7

Fuck this.
Fuck this whole.

I realize that there is more elegance and eloquence to vocabulary but right now the only works that can escape my lips are

Fuck this.
Oh. And fuck you, too.


Sitting here sick
Sick and damn tired of this shit that life keeps throwing my way.
And I just deal with it...
Because I 'have to'.

Bullshit.

'Have to'


Why the fuck do I 'have to' be here? I didn't chose this. I didn't ask to be alive, ask to be conscious. I don't want to be here. I don't want to do this. I don't want to wake up each day and breathe and live and work and cry and sleep.

Well...
Sleep.

I'll keep that one.
Its nice to sleep. There's nothing else to worry about. A sweet serene oasis of mine. A place where I don't answer to the shit of other people.

I give it back. All of it. It doesn't work right. It never did. It never will. People say that I should be happy for the things I have and I say to those people...

Fuck that.

Fuck your standards of what I 'should' do or feel or know. Fuck your opinion on how I treat myself. Fuck your decision that my life is worth saving because so what. I don't want it. I return it. Take it back and give the whole thing to someone else who wants it.

But make sure you ask them first. Ask them if they want this life. Ask them if they desire to drudge through each day just to make it to the next. Ask them if they want the self-loathing, air of desecration that lingers all around me. Ask them if they'd love to know, everyday, what it feels like to have people NOT choose you over and over and over again. Because I'm sure, if you ask them ...

They'll want to return this life, too.


- t.s.

SATAN'S GIRL Dec 5

I'm a child again.
Always stuck in the middle.
No one is looking to make sure
I won't fall and get caught in a riddle.

You've pulled all of their eyes to you.
No one can invite others over.
You've made it so no one can do
the things they were planning to
before you decided to stay with us.

Hanna Jones Dec 3

Have you ever noticed that, if you close your eyes, a laugh can sound like crying?

I’m not laughing.
Open your eyes.

Can’t seem to write much recently.
Hanna Jones Nov 28

You’re under my skin.
You’re the whisper on each heavy sigh released from my lips.
Your soul has wrapped itself around mine, and honey, I’m hooked.

I need you.

Like food, like water, like air.
You inflict a desire - deep and instinctual - on me to be near you.

You’re under my skin.
Your kisses burn marks on my flesh, branding me as yours.
My heartbeat has aligned to yours, calling out ‘I love you’ with every 24 beats.

I want you.
More than anything.

And
you
don’t
care.

Hanna Jones Nov 27

You breathe your thoughts into my lungs,
both suffocating and bursting me.
You surround my thoughts in your narrow-minded fog, black and thick and unsure.
You open my chest and play Flight Of The Bumblebee on my ribs,
willing my heart to beat in time to your fast tempo.
You make my eyes drown in the physical manifestation of my feelings.
You bring out the ugliest, most hideous side of me and put it on display,
then proceeding to ridicule me.

You rule over me,
sitting on your cracked throne in my heart.

Hanna Jones Nov 27

I rub my gloved hands together.
My fingers can’t take the cold that slices like the knife in my back.

I watch as my breath crystallises in the cool air, dissipating quickly.
The heat from my body being slowly snatched away with each exhalation.

The blood that trickles from my lips is my only source of warmth.

You tower behind me
in your shorts and t-shirt.
Cheeks glowing red.
Without even looking, I can ascertain that your sweet, pink-tinted smile is painted on your pretty face.

“This is your fault.”

The final blow as you twist the blade.

Chloe Nov 18

I'm sorry my head isn't on straight.
I'm sorry I only focus on the bad.
I'm sorry I'm compromising our relationship instead of moving forward with you.
I'm sorry I have a hard time forgiving people who hurt me,
Even though I love you so much.
Please don't leave me.
Please just be patient.
I promise I will make it right.

Leave me while you can
Was there a reason you stayed around?
Am I just a body to you?
Someone you can feel close to when you're in need?
I'm more than what you make me out to be
More than your silly descriptions of me
I am reborn in a new imagine of my former self
Wiser
All the wiser yet none the more stable
I thought you were my friend
More than my friend
But as things broke down, that came to an end
"We are forever"
Lies
Forever was far shorter than both of us imagined.
Somehow, I stopped caring when you did

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