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Amanda Dec 2019
In morning hours my eyes open
Hurricane starts right away
Cannot stand on unsteady feet
Guess this is the price I pay
Living the past I loved
Abyss of pain
Moments gone
Loneliness the only thing
I truly depend upon
I cannot believe in hollow words
Or your beloved higher power
I can't see it with my two eyes
In my thoughts won't flower
Yet it is hard to wake up by myself
Solitude wears down sanity
Gathers on your possessions
Cursed to repeat this exhausting routine
Hateful emptiness rains onto me
Hate my body
Mind
Heart
And soul
Not for any person around
For the days taking control
I scream at the world letting me fall
Will for faltering under stress
Did smiling become a daunting task?
Do fatigued muscles need more rest?
I do not choose to be unhappy
With a permanent dusty scowl
I open my mouth to speak
Voice sounds more like a growl
I feel hatred bubbling over
With care try to keep it sealed in
The world is chock-full of reminders
Everything will never be the same again
Flat soda filling my coffee mug
Flat broke wishing my pulse would flatline
Mirror's angle exposing each flaw
Life I'm ready to decline
I am a terrible excuse for a person
In a museum of a house
All the rooms are testaments
To lonely feelings I no longer rouse
Living with bruised ego
Legs
And knees
Delayed reflexes
Lay down pride
Funny thing is I'm not a captive
Door is open wide
But I'm a bird
My wings are broken
Irony is that I can't fly
I breathe fresh air on my lonely perch
Love enough to make me cry
Caged in a pool created from tears
Can barely stay afloat
I'm on a flimsy raft
I'm in need of a sturdier boat
Every overwhelming day I face is terrible
People watching how I react
Stuck inside a glass cage
My prison is under attack
I did not end it very well I will admit haha
Amanda Dec 2019
I suspected this day was coming
Now that it's finally here
Realize I'm not ready
Face my biggest fear

I want to stop desperately
Seems I've tried a lot
Every time I am ready
Stubborn addiction is not

The drugs grab control of me
Steer me straight into a wall
Pull me back into the ditch
Doesn't matter how many times I go through withdrawal

I have learned my lesson the hard way
Much too often to count
Then again the hard way
The only way I've known about

Let the ocean take away
I drown in blue misery
Wash up on some greener shores
World that in comparison is easy

Do not smoke if you can't handle the heat
You're afraid of getting burned
Flames always steal a part
Once gone not always returned

I have given up on finding myself
Buried pieces too deep
Intention was to plant them
No harvest grows to reap

So remain trapped in a cycle
Strapped by only threads
Running from my demons
Tires me as sickness spreads

No one coming to save me
I've toppled overboard
Danced on the very edge
This is my reward

Consume me as I spiral down
Watch me crash in an explosion
Go enjoy the show
Not what I have chosen

When eyes can't stand my reflection
Monster staring back
Use to blur the edges
To smudge all that I lack

Time is always running
One minute after the next
Door to sobriety is always open
In the moment hesitating perplexed

Do not quit because I don't know how
I've done it once before
Daydreaming past recovery
Cannot remember what I did it for

When the silence starts mocking me
Following a great and heavy pause or two
Hold my hand tightly
It will pull me through
Its so hard to just walk away for good
Ztef Nov 2019
Look at her, still braving the tides
through hell and high water,
you won't hear her sighs
And though she is lonely,
she smiles as though the happiest,
of maidens and friends,
a façade; an ode to all the compliments

Days and nights, she hopes and longs
for a love deep enough to wander and hold
She tries, and tries, to see light in every encounter
How melancholic, she laughs without laughter

She makes it seem as though she is strong
but inside, she knows, it's a deep fall
To trust-  shatter, her heart amends
How lonely it is to long for something that bends

Look at her braving the tides,
her eyes that shine like the moonlight divine
A constellation of stars hidden in her mind
And though she seems to be standing still
Her heart, oh her heart, is breaking till.
Ambriel Oct 2019
such a sunshine in a gloomy weather
a sparkle of hope in the midst of pain
and a light during a stormy night.

Such a beautiful being
with heart as pure as gold
with soul that screams hope .

This being said hi to my life
drawed a masterpiece
that i once loved.

A being that showed me the galaxy
and made me love the asteroids on it
made me smile because of the stars.

Beautiful being such a talented one
he molded my heart to love him so hard '
he makes me float in a galaxy of gold.

Beautiful being thank you for letting me smile
for being a part of my life
now i have to bid my goodbye.
sometimes you need to say goodbye to the person you really love.
Shadowhollow Oct 2019
To fall in love isn’t to run carefree
Yes it may start in erratic tumbles
But it ends in slow dances
Calm movements
The winds hands stroking you’re hair
Affectionately  
The calm of the water breaking tide

To fall in love isn’t assured
But it is all the same
Wonderful
anthony Brady Mar 2019
Where does it go
that hour
when clocks
go back
or forward?

Does time stop
to welcome
Spring's return,
bidding the
Winter - farewell?

Or, pause
for  Summer's
lease to bring
in Autumn's
early eves?

No: sleep lost
or gained
holds secret
the time
and the hour.

Change as you
may the hands of
watch or clock:
the sundial shadow
falls unaltered.

TOBIAS
lila Mar 2019
i kept my promise
and loved you more
than there were
stars in the sky

you said you loved me
all the way to the moon
but that love never
came back down
to earth
2/25/2019
Masha Yurkevich Feb 2019
It starts with us,
one by one.
To make this world
more kind for everyone.
Kind words
and caring hearts
help heal
those wounds
and disappear scars.
It all starts with you and me...
Tiger Striped Jan 2019
you are not
the sun
you are not
the moon
you are most certainly not 
the earth
you must learn
as i did
(when you were once my whole world)
you are a star
yet
you are one 
of seven billion

the day you realize
that humans
are so carefully crafted
so delicately designed
so infinitely intricate
will be the day 
you start to treat them
the right way
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