I listen to these songs
one after the other
playing on my playlist
But each of these songs
hold tags of memories
The memories I live everyday through them
Well, there is a memory of a boy
Not a man
whom I liked
Not loved
And that one song looks like him
The song I played
As I passed through those corridors
to get a glimpse of him
But here I am humming ' Heather '
As I see his girl
laughing by his side
I never imagined myself at 'her' place
But he looked beautiful from a distance
It gave that restless heart a kiss
It felt good...
So now I don't look at the boy I liked
But his lover
What 'she' wears
How 'she' talks
Her demeanor, that attracted him
I am not jealous
But 'she' makes me curious
And I feel like learning about 'her'
Turns out, Khaab was better than her
But still not in 'her' place...
I can't get jealous
I never had that right
Because I liked him
from a distance
He is not my moon
But he looked charming
'She' loves him
And sees his flaws
They love each other everyday...
And that can not be me
As loving is tiring
I do not love everyday
But I do hate this flesh everyday
How could I be 'her'?
When I don't love myself

And I get back to those songs
Where I feel like the protagonist
The unloved one
The one, some call ' The villain'.

I am so nasty
people stand aghast
I am so bad
you feel a draft
on a summers day
murderous glances pave the way
I am sick, I am ill
babe with every hero it’s a battle of wills

I am so abrasive
I am like invasive surgery
I am so evil I burn bibles and call it purgatory
the devil herself could learn from me
I want pounds of flesh so burn with me

I am deathly shade
stalking the sun
I am the nightmare
in the night you run
I am evil
I told you to die
but chances are you’re petrified

I am so dishevelled
I make Darth Sidious look sprightly
Sith Lords can’t fight me
With just one flick of my fingers
death lingers
I am psychologically deranged
so psychopathically strange
you wondered if I was ever sane
I just got back from Frankenstein’s lab
I killed the hulk yes I am that strong and bad
I framed Sherlock Holmes
and made him into an ****** addict
cause all my plays our that strategic
I even cheat death
in fact I own Azrael’s blade
I am villain the one you crave.

WHy?
I've been screaming it in your face
End me before I do the same to you
If I had met you before
Would we still end up this way?
Before I went down this path
I could have turned around into your arms
Yet one of us must meet the cold embrace of death
by the point of the knife that each of us directs at the other
chaste kisses we share with knives digging into our hearts
we share a love
we share a hate
but our goals clash and so do our lives
we both will lose
but only one loses their life

Why did you hesitate?
If you give me an inch I'll take all that you love
End me swiftly and let me feel your love one last time
tender words we whisper in secret
glances we take when no one is looking
even our dances of death together is an act of love
a love doomed is better than none at all
our time was meant to be short
we can't come out together
your hands shake as your sword digs deeper into my skin
Don't you dare pull back



don't cry
if you can't bear to blacken your heart
I'll do it for you
After all I can't let my darkness touch your light
Just one tug inwards and I can finally rest in your arms

Let's meet again in another life
I'll give you my heart without the ugliness of the world clouding my intentions
I'll live for you
my hands won't ****
We'll embrace until our hair turns silver
In every life after that one we'll be together
just not this one

WHy?
I've been screaming it in your face
End me before I do the same to you
If I had met you before
Would we still end up this way?
Before I went down this path
I could have turned around into your arms
Yet one of us must meet the cold embrace of death
by the point of the knife that each of us directs at the other
chaste kisses we share with knives digging into our hearts
we share a love
we share a hate
but our goals clash and so do our lives
we both will lose
but only one loses their life

Why did you hesitate?
If you give me an inch I'll take all that you love
End me swiftly and let me feel your love one last time
tender words we whisper in secret
glances we take when no one is looking
even our dances of death together is an act of love
a love doomed is better than none at all
our time was meant to be short
we can't come out together
your hands shake as your sword digs deeper into my skin
Don't you dare pull back



don't cry
if you can't bear to blacken your heart
I'll do it for you
Afterall I can't let my darkness touch your light
Just one tug inwards and I can finally rest in your arms

Let's meet again in another life
I'll give you my heart without the ugliness of the world clouding my intentions
I'll live for you
my hands won't ****
We'll embrace until our hair turns silver
In every life after that one we'll be together
just not this one

Someday I will bring this world to its knees for everything that it has done to me.
And while it begs for my forgiveness, I will simply watch as it trembles at the echos of my laugh