What am I trying to say is this:
My world is in color and you,
You are the cherry red,
You are neon.
You are everything my heart
Did not know it could be.
I am indigo streaks
Across the world;
A suffocating introversion
A depression which once
Took hold of me.
As I step out into the world
A starry night sky greets me
And for some reason
I bump into you
And there, you apologized
Thinking you did something
That I would've been mad about
But no, all I wanted was affection
And there, you told me
How you asked her how she felt
And if she could reciprocate your feelings
And if you had a chance
And you pretended I was her
As you told your story, back hug
As you gently face me, another hug
And then and there, I felt confused
"I Love You"s melted
Under my tongue 'til you were
Yet bitter nostalgia,
Yet the feeling of emptiness
Yet the absence of memories
Yet the memories of absence.
Let the shadow of those two petals rest
And rim a mirage over my lips.
Let that serve as a reminder of the venom behind every kiss.
Let me accept the reality that you mean me no good.
That I should’ve stopped when I still could.
Take heed that I want more.
Take to heart I’m too vulnerable to make these kinds of decisions.
Take pity that I’m too submissive to threaten your position.
Take this kiss as a final blow.
As a signature of defeat.
This coup d’etat
The last draw in heat.
Ashes to ashes,
dust to dust
All these bones that carried
Once gold now only rust.
Why pick up
a dented thing
when it is no more use
Why pick up
a broken being
when it sees no safe place
or the difference between false and true?
Throw it away,
it's nothing good.
Go on your way,
as you should.
There are thorns here more than roses,
neither a bud or bloom to be seen.
You, traveler, should best be on your guard
Go back to the road where first you have been.
Blood boils not
to a heart that no longer beats;
that no longer sputters life
that was never in the place for keeps.
Keep away, good man;
your sweat is aimed for greater things,
your time for the one who beautifully sings;
your heart for the better and light winged.
Cuts and edges are all I have,
dark eyes and silent lips to give you no grace.
It is a colorful heart you seek - yet mine is shattered,
burnt and black;
I believe I am the wrong one to replace.
To feel you softly,
that seems to be a dream
made not for my tattered self.
I am too afraid
of breaking you
or being too selfish of the thought
of having you
or taking for granted your life
when I say I do love you -
When you could have been:
or good without,
maybe even better -
When I am here
I feel more near
Than two stars in the night sky
Right beside each other
And yet light-years away
Though not by choice
But perhaps design
As we could be, as we are in voice
Ever trapped in this endless cycle
Like the slow glowing impending
Like the space between most every breath
I'll be nearer to you after this goodnight
And yet no more than a distant star
For we are but two
Of the many bright orbs
Glowing in the grandest of sky's