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Out on a drive with me
It all starts out the same
The second that I turn the key
It turns into a game.

First, on the radio:
The song has to be just right
Especially not advertisements,
Sometimes they keep me from sleeping at night.

After that, I sit and think
And think and think some more
But the more I think, the more I ask
What is this all for?

Hey! No time for crises!
Let’s play games!
How many cars can you stack?
Anything to keep my brain tame.

But I’ve already thought of that game
So many times
I don’t want to play that game anymore
Repetition is what I most despise.

So I think my thoughts again
They’re even louder now
Stop stop stop stop
But how how how?

My pressure increases on the gas
Zoom zoom zoom
But it’s not because I want to go fast
It’s my head: boom boom boom

It pounds with the same thoughts
Over and over— yet
I can’t just think about something else
I can’t let myself forget

What if I crash the car?
What if I die tonight?
Stop stop please stop
Filling my head with more fright

I take a different way home
I’ve taken that one too many times
Even though it’s a little slower
And there are way too many lights

The water dripping down my neck
Is Chinese water torture
So wipe it off quickly quickly NOW
before you subject yourself to more torture

Torture torture
Driving like this is torture
Stop grinding your teeth, it hurts
You’ve been doing it since your departure

Honest to ***, I want it to stop
The repetition is too much
I hate it
I hate it
I hate it
Make it stop.
I think I might not be mentally okay I hate driving nowadays
Joliver Sep 29
The world is burning
But I'm okay
I'm okay
I'm okay

My hands won't stop shaking
But I'm okay
I'm okay
I'm okay

I feel so isolated
But I'm okay
I'm okay
I'm okay

I'm full of regret
But I'm okay
I'm okay
I'm okay

I can't sleep
But I'm okay
I'm okay
I'm okay

I can't drag myself out of bed
But I'm okay
I'm okay
I'm okay

I'm having trouble breathing
But I'm okay
I'm okay
I'm okay

I feel so gross
But I'm okay
I'm okay
I'm okay

I don't take care of myself
But I'm okay
I'm okay
I'm okay

I don't see the point
But I'm okay
I'm okay
I'm okay

-

Tomorrow will be better
And I'll be okay
I'll be okay
I'll be okay
I'm used to assuring others that I'm okay, but the person I really need to convince is myself
Tara Sep 18
Watching the colour drain out of someone’s face,
like ice cubes melting shades out of your coffee.
Branches falling off your favourite tree,
foreshadowing its winter death,
but you pretend you don’t know.

Watching someone you love fall over the same step each time,
like they see a ghost everytime they turn right,
so they keep turning left,
And they scream “Why is it always going wrong?”

Watching your brother beat himself black and blue,
like the kids used to do at school,
And now all he recognizes is his beaten back and bleeding knuckles,
but he is so much more than the pain he holds in his hands.

I’ve been watching you break bridges with your voice since I was a child.
I’ve been watching you use fists to communicate since I was a child.
I’ve been watching you self-medicate since I was a child.
I learned from the best,
don’t you see?

Watching you love a woman made me angry,
maybe I knew all along she’d only leave a knife in your back,
after you stabbed her in the front.
At least she saw you coming right?

Watching you break down made me fall apart,
maybe I was hoping I’d become strong,
but watching you suffer felt like being suffocated.
Yet you were the only one suffocating.

Watching you not exist in my life the way you used to took a part of me away.
It’ll never be the same again.
Do you remember all the days we spent doing nothing,
but doing nothing together?
I felt so alive.

I’m watching myself search for you in everyone I meet,
just to get some pieces of you back.
I’m watching myself run away from the person you are,
but I’ve been stuck in quicksand since you left.
I’m watching myself drown as I realize how quickly life changes,
and how quickly it ends.
J Oaks Sep 11
They will not be heard
with their many words
Don't think like them
They will not be heard
with their many words
Repetition
of their assumption
Jesus is not against
repetition
My father
let me pass
as you will
Men keep watch!
Don't think like them
Their flesh is weak
They will not be heard
Meaningless repetition
Many words
They will not be heard
Thorn in the flesh
*** does not have a one prayer
only rule
Dear ***
I can never say that again
Jesus is talking about
hearts
that we badger ***!
Pagans!
Ten thousand!
My Mary
Our fathers
Beads on a chain
moving down the line
repetition
Leverage your words
to
move
***
Good gifts for his children
With many words
They will not be heard
Aa Harvey Aug 27
No Tomorrow


We all begin with birth, then life,
Then death, then the afterlife,
Then reincarnation, a new life,
Then that life, then death, the afterlife
And another reincarnated life.


That begins with birth, then life, once more,
Then death, afterlife, resurrection, we are born;
To live life, suffer death, experience the afterlife.
Once more be reincarnated, once more being born,
Once more live a life;
Once more experience death and the afterlife,
One last time, be reincarnated…


Then we are born again to realise it was a lie.
Another life, another death, another afterlife;
Reincarnated again.


Born, lived, cried, died, afterlife,
Resurrection, born one more time,
Lived, lies, cried, died.


Afterlife, resurrection, born again;
Found religion, lived, died, afterlife.
Reincarnation, change the station,
Play me a new tune, not this ‘Here comes another Son’.
He lived, he loved, he couldn’t, but he sang,
A song of hope;
A song called No Tomorrow.


(C)2013 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.
there's a game, that you always let me win.

the game that i want to lose,
maybe even just once.
but that never happens.

"i love you more".

- v.m
i love you more.
lmbf Aug 15
In the pale blue veins of my wrist I spot my parents' joy, her smile, my friends' laughter.
In the pale blue veins of my wrist therein lines a faint outline of the Manhattan skyline at night; all natural and manmade wonders intertwined.
In the pale blue veins of my wrist I see myself speaking to a family of immigrants, and changing their world by offering them the same pathway into this nation of immigrants that I was afforded so many years ago.
In the pale blue veins of my wrist I see the afternoon sun glistening on her back by the water, and I see the thought of seeing her, loving her once again.
In the pale blue veins of my wrist I see the potential for regrowth.
Repair.
In these pale blue veins I see the possibilities of learning to live and love once again.
Summer Freewrite Sessions 2018 //
When I was 10, I had recurring thoughts of wanting to hurt myself. I wanted to fully visualize the pain I felt inside by seeing it play out in front of me. But everytime I do, I think of pale blue, and how in this world there is so much more I have to give and do. Hope this helps at least one soul out there.
"There are always more reasons why not."
PS shoutout to my English teachers for teaching me literary terms/techniques, this brief return to poetry wouldn't have been possible without you all!
Poetry gave me wings to fly,
Create myself and soar high.
Trapped in a cocoon of my thoughts,
I burst out,
With all my might,
To a steadier light,
Of pure verse, rhymes and repetitions,
To evoke ideas,feelings and emotions.
Poetry discarded fears in my mind,
My bitterness I left behind,
Finding tangy happiness in every write,
On poetry site.
My poems took flight,
To great heights,
Into the alleys of my imaginations
Enlightened  with inspirations.
My love of poetry,
Gave me a new identity,
Awoke my soul,
To write more and more.
Aa Harvey Jul 7
Change It.


Change it, change it, change it, change it;
Change it!!!
Let’s make a change now; change it!  
Let’s make a change now; change it!
Let’s make a change now;
So we can figure out what this poem is all about.


Change it!  It’s time for you to;
Change it!  You know it’s in you.
The power to make something unbelievable;
The power for you, to change the world…


So just change it!  Let’s make a change now;
Change it!  Go on now change it;
Change it! The time has come now;
For you to go out there and cha-cha-change the world.


Come on now, change it!
The time has come now; change it!
It’s in your hands now; change it!
Let’s all make a difference and cha- cha-change the world.


Cha-cha-cha-change it!
Let’s make a difference.
Change it!  Let’s make a new Eden.
Let’s change it, re-arrange it...

And let us find a new way to move forward in time…



(C)2013 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.
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