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WhiteWolf101 Nov 12
I still feel your presence
although barley an essence
and one day I'll forget
will be the day I regret
and you will simply be
So you accidentally cheated,
***** a young girl to death,
Preying on other's wives
Stole your employer's cash

Committed several atrocities,
You were all smiles till you got caught,
Someone got to your head,
It's witchcraft

So you play the victim
The demons were at play
Beg for forgiveness
While you blame it on the devil.
I wish that I could meet the me inside your head
I don't think I'd like the things that she says
I wish I could erase the stencil of me you traced
Free your mind to see a different shape
I would deconstruct the shadow that has taken my place
And help you see the real me that has somehow been replaced
Paint a new and clearer picture, however long it takes
I want to stay until you see her, however high the stakes
Tell me not to speak
But I never seem to listen,
I make the same mistakes and the same mistakes, I guess hoping I am forgiven.

I should have been quiet,
I should have obeyed what I always remember,
That I should keep it to myself and pretend everything’s hidden.

Imagine myself losing my mind,
I think half the feelings are real,
But not to breaking point:
(Even if I want to) I’m not screaming at the walls,
I’m not crying all day,
I’m not trying to get through to them whilst acting insane.

Multiple times I’ve told myself,
To pretend I never think of this,
Maybe they’ll forget, think you’ve slipped out of it.
I was never someone who didn’t express,
But now it’s always failing;
Few things I need and am not getting.
annh May 17
I succumbed
To the habitual sound of obstructed truths;
Deceiving and deceived therein,
Abolished of conscience;
My penitence seeded with disavowal,
Your disbelief my credo.

'The liar's punishment is, not in the least that he is not believed, but that he cannot believe anyone else.'
- George Bernard Shaw, The Quintessence of Ibsenism
I ask myself so many times,
"Why are you here and what do you stand for?"
To have someone so good and amazing in my life
just seems so wrong but how strong, how strong
You must be to stay here and stay as you are

There's no reason for me to admit the obvious
who am I to deserve such a miracle in the form of you
In the real world, it's never supposed to work out like this, am I dreaming it this?
I mean you told me you love me!
How real could this be? Im suffocating in my disbelief... I'm suffocating in what you've called nothing special, when I've seen nothing short of perfect...

I've been sick with this fever of confliction
Wanting to say the three words, the same three words you've whispered in your sleep, and in my dreams, but what holds me back is my fear

The fear that you won't react the same way I do
When I hear them, not that you'd reject them
but soon that you'll realize I could never amount to the man you believe I could be, no
never do I believe that could be me...

I remember every moment we shared
every time you showed me you cared
I tried my best to be the best I could for you
I'd drop all of my life to prove what I mean

I'll somehow overcome my gears
I never want you to go, I never want you to leave
I want you to stay with me
I want to hold your face in my hands and admit even though I'm nothing
I'll fight to be everything

Just so you can hear me say I love you
You'll tell me you love me
and we'll both believe
ever feel like something you wrote long ago has only become relevant now?
Every day’s a torture I just can’t escape,
Just knowing I will never get closure,
And even if I were to
It would never be okay,
Because I’ve this trauma they’ve forced me into,
This box they’ve shut me into:
Psychosomatic, anxious - don’t believe her,
No one can help me, no one wants to.
I know even if this all disappears
I’ll still feel like this, because it’s still happened,
They still have let me down,
Telling me it’s caused by nonexistent trauma,
While they’re the ones who abuse their power,
Tearing me down one by one,
Making me scared of anyone who could ever help me,
Because I know that they won’t and they’ll think I’m silly.
Now I just want to get rid of me,
I can’t stand it
It’s like every
Step I take,
I’m asking for more agony,
From people destined to
Never take me

Even I want to
Throw myself away.
It’s not okay.
Dominique Apr 2019
The middle of a pool of salt-
A Eucharist is said to float.
God's dignity created flesh,
A sacrifice the Pope could bless
If he could only find the shoes
To wade inside the choking blue
To pluck the body from the waves;
A child the doves were slow to raise.
No, there is no God.
If there was that baby wouldn't be choking in the salt, thanks.
Em MacKenzie Apr 2019
She prays, she stays perched on her knees,
but she can’t admit she never receives replies.
All these days, it’s no phase but she never sees,
essentially she’s only talking to vacant skies.

She pleads with her beads, her trusted rosary
but every word falls on deaf ears.
Every night, routine tight, does she include me
or does she only prioritize her deepest fears?

I’ve only prayed once in my life
for something so meaningless most people would forget.
I should’ve saved my “one” for times of true strife,
but I’m a lucky gambler, I had never lost a bet.
Are you there God? It’s me, Emily,
not the one in the past or the future self,
I could ask for a million things but they wouldn’t hold much meaning
but I’ll neglect begging for my fleeting health.

Up, down, left and right,
I personally prefer the Contra Code.
It aids one better in a fight
regardless of the settings or the mode.
They say Sunday’s a time for worship and rest
but I’ve been working all night and my left brain won’t stop flowing.
I guess there’s a lot of things sitting on my chest,
and a certain type of comfort in uncertainty and not knowing.

I dig six feet deep to find the dedication,
and I put my hands together; connecting my fingers.
I can’t help it, I can’t find it, it seems my hesitation
has a will of it’s own, and it always lingers.
I mean no offence to any religious people on this site with this piece, we all believe what we believe, and sometimes things write themselves even when it’s tongue in cheek.
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