Leonila Sep 9

Though our journey has ended, let me live in your memory.

©Leonila

Arelove Sep 9

Nasaksihan ko kung paano nabuo, nabubog, nadurog ang pagkakaibigan nyo.

Nasaksihan ko ang bawat tawa, bawat luha na pumatak mula sa mga mata ninyong dalawa.

Nasaksihan ko kung paanong hindi nyo mahiwalayan ang isa't isa pati na ang minsang nagkunwari kayong di magkakilala.

Nasaksihan ko. Nasaksihan ko ang lahat maging ang pagkakalamat sa bagay na ingat na ingat kayo, pati na rin ata ako.

Dahil sa panahong kayo ay nabuo, nabubog, nadurog ay sumabay ang puso ko sa pagdurugo ng sa inyo.

Sa panahong halos maubusan ng hininga sa kakatawa, maniwala kayo, mas masaya ako kaysa sa inyo.

Pero sobra din ang sakit kapag kayo ay magkagalit dahil sa pagkukunwaring multo ang isa't isa o kaya'y taong di ninyo kilala hanggang sa magkapikunan kayong dalawa.

Akala ko'y iyon na ang pinakamalungkot sa lahat. Nagkamali ako. Dahil mas malalim pa sa lungkot ang lumukot sa kalooban ko nang umagang iyon. Nang makita ang ilang pahiwatig ng nalalapit na pagtatapos, ng pagwawakas ng bagay na minsang nagpalakas sa inyong dalawa.

Akala ko, tuluyan na itong masisira. Ngunit mukhang di ako pwedeng manghuhula dahil...

Nasaksihan ko ang muli nyong pagkapit, paglapit sa isa't isa kahit pa pilit kayong pinaglalayo ng hindi niyo pagkakaintindihan, ng inyong pagkakasakitan.

Nasaksihan ko kung paano nabuo, nabubog, nadurog, at muling nabuo ang pilit na pinaglalayo.

Leonila Sep 7

Life's Dances

No one else I'd rather be with
No other for me than you, Love
No one else I'd live and die for
There's no one else I love more
You, my one wish has come true
I've loved you a lifetime through
Tonight we celebrate our union
With you life is a blissful romance
Tic- toc the clock that doesn't stop
Oh Love, my life is sweeter with you
Hold me close until death do us apart
One, two, three we step to this Waltz
Wrapped safely in your loving embrace
I hope and pray this dance lasts forever
No one else I'd dance life's dances than with you

©Leonila 2016

Leonila Sep 7

Just like that
we let people in and out
of our everyday lives.
like revolving doors.

Freely we receive them
freely we let them go
as if people were objects
as if people had no value.

Just like that
is how we deal with
the people in our lives.
With no importance.

Life is a vicious circle
teaching us lessons
beyond what the mind
can comprehend.

Just like that
we get rid of people
today they no longer serve you
they served their purpose

In vicious circles we do spin
that treatment that upsets us
is the treatment we return
and then we wonder why.

Why?
Why?
Do we suffer the lessons we get?
Why?
Why?

Just like that
life in it's truest, realest sense
growing from the cause of pain
smiling although you want to cry.

Even when you don't understand
and so your wounded heart aches
you pick yourself up and walk again
Just like that.

Just like that
you begin to realize
you have no choice
in people's decisions and actions

But rather you accept what is
and you learn that someday
sometime you will smile again
Just like that....

Just like that.....

©Leonila 2016

Ollie Sep 2

School can be such a bore
I know this because I've roamed those halls for 7 years and it's more than I can handle
It's more than a loss of freedom, it's enemies who want to take more of it
School can be friendships
School gave me you
And so did Florida, it gave you up, you, the one who looked different, the one who knew every song by every band I could name
It's a shame I didn't meet you sooner
It's a shame I don't know if you'll live to see high school
But really I don't know if I will either
I'm just a fraud, really
And your favorite band? The lead singer was a goner
You wanted his name
You have his name
It's yours, I breathe it in when I think of you
And I'm wondering how you got something so amazing and mine is the kind you see for minor characters in every story
Our story was nothing short of a miracle and a panic attack
Our story is still being written, and it's nothing short of miraculous whispers and screamed out song lyrics
Rollercoaster rides and straight fields
Those fields were 10 times as straight as either of us are
And you called me bicurious once
I always knew you liked girls
I knew it from the way you moved
The way you talked about them, your expression in an everyday class
I always knew and you had the class to hide it from everyone else
Our story isn't the kind people put on shelves
But you could put it on an album and it might sound just the same
Do you remember how we used to sing Alone Together on a yellow school bus?
With 6 inches of space between us
But really, we were so close we could've been one person
And in a way, we were
Because I knew every side of you
I knew fallen days and I knew heartbreak
I could feel how you felt
I knew the panic attacks and the nightmares
I still do
I've never wished that I didn't
And I won't
Because I love you, quite a lot
And I'm giving a hell of a shot at keeping you alive
Cause you're one of the only reasons I'm here too
And I hold you dear, so much I use the word when I think of you
And honestly, when you told me your gender, my only wish was that I could be pansexual
Cause goddamn, I hate myself and I still don't think I, or anyone, deserves less than you
You in all your forms
You in all your attacks and your heart aches
Your heartbreaks
Your heart broke long ago but I'd do whatever it took to mend it
Mend it, bend it into the shape of my hand to hold
Or a shoulder to cry on
We decide to live on
I wrote you a note, the end of our 6th grade year
You cried reading it
I wrote it because I loved you
I wrote it because I still do
Just like I knew I would
I wrote it because I didn't want someone so amazing to die over the summer when I had no means of saving them
I did it for a broken girl
You might not be a girl but I thought you were then
I smile sometimes, thinking about it
Usually when I'm alone at night
And I practice conversations in the darkness
My thoughts tend to be about you
Like I'm tending to you with my dying breath, cause you're on yours and I just wanted you to be okay
I don't want you to fall
Cause neither of us were ever standing up straight in the first place
So take my hand
We can steady ourselves when our storybook closes
No one else has to read the pages
As long as we know them by heart
Because our story is a work of art that people want to hang in their houses
But we can only make one
So let's keep it to ourselves
With the others knowing naught but a word
It's quiet
But you don't have to say anything
Just look at me through your tears
Cause I know all your worst fears
I'll fix them
I'll always fix them for you
Like fixing the binding, the spine of a book, the story of a book I'll always consider mine
But really it's ours
You're as beautiful as a work of art
And I include the marks on your arms
Because if you have to write those stories, I'll be here until you retire from your journaling career
Until the books with bright red pages are gone
Or maybe until you are, too
I'm aware I've never read one
But maybe I'll just wear the stories of them on the inside
Once you told me, "you cut on the inside" and I know you know it was true
I know I did too
But I won't write such stories for people to see
I'll just read the one about you and me
There aren't many words on the pages
But that's okay
We've got a lifetime to fill them, if you're up to it

the other one about Tyler
Because all my poetry is

In the pursuit of happiness
I have been cutting the
toxins out of my life and darling,
I'm sorry you had to be one.
You only kiss me when you're
drunk and I have a bad feeling
you would always chose her over me.
And to my best friend, I'm sorry I
was always a second option to you,
but in order to heal i will not settle
for anything less than first place.
And to the man who thought he could
heal me, I always told you that this
was a one man job,
and it was made just for me.
You see i'm not in search for something
that can heal me,
I'm in search for a light,
Maybe just something a little
less broken than me.

ryan Aug 30

i say i want to know
i claim i want to know how people feel about me
what do i do to them ?
do i anger them ? confuse them ? frustrate them ? inspire them ?
i fear im nothing but a nasty conglomerate of everything thats perfectly nauseating

i fear im too much yet never enough
i fear im too distant but always too attached
i fear im too pessimistic but far too positive

but really i dont want to know
the thought of truly knowing what im doing terrifies me
knowing will take away from the beautifully abstract mess that is my mind and its curiosity
knowing will cause the weight of anxiety and responsibility to come pressing down on my feeble shoulders
but at the same time it will be lifted
no longer will i worry about hurting others for i will already know the damage ive caused
so really i need to ask them
do i wanna know ?

alternatively titled do i wanna know but i thought it was a little repetitive. not a poem a day but rather one every five minutes. i wrote all three of these too quickly last night.
Bad Vibes Aug 17

Don't you dare leave flowers at my grave.

As a matter of fact, don't even visit.

I don't want to see you weep or talk about how good of a soul I was.

You don't deserve to mourn me because you didn't take the time to know me.

-t.s.

I will never understand
The selfie epidemic.
Why people decide it's
Wise to compensate for their low
Self-esteem by begging for attention and
Compliments from strangers.
Why they require "likes" to survive
As though without approval
Or praise, they cannot feel whole,
Beautiful or confident.
Why people think they are
Fooling the world,
Pretending to have the lives
Which they covet so intensely,
But refuse to work to achieve.
Why they paint pictures
Of themselves. False,
Decaying images of confidence,
Happiness, and connection
Non-existent. Human connection,
Which they could have if they only
Put the phone down.
If they only made conscious efforts
To truly be with the people
Who they are with, instead
Of scrolling, gazing at photos
Of ghosts like them, with their
Eyes glazed over, minds slowed.
Why they willingly lose connection,
Abandoning reality as they dive
Into the depths of lives
Which are equally as fake
As their own.

Free verse rant because I am literally drowning in selfies and lies and pride and loss. Send help.
Mallory Aug 7

My patience has been stretched inordinately thin,
My back bone has started to spear through my skin
and I will not snap it back in place
to make
you more comfortable.
I see through you
and your slimy, translucent, fins.
I promise I notice
every bit of effort you do not put in.
It sinks my heart into my stomach,
And every truth Ive been swallowing will be regurgitated and spit out before I am sick again.
My back feels like it's going to break from bending over all the cracks in your concrete,
While you step on mine,
Thinking you are somehow above me this way, but dear,
we all crack the same.
Just in different places, and at different paces.
And I have been running down only one ways
lately.
But these roads don't lead me any closer to you, they drive you away, and if you think i can run forever,
While you stay the same,
You are grievously  
wrong, and you don't know me
as well as you thought.
I can only give so much, and at the end of the day,
I will love the people who reciprocate that love back, and meet me halfway.
I will love you always,
but for a love that hurts more than it heals, I can not wait, and I will not stay.

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