I'm hollowing out.
You put me through the wringer.
What do you want from me?
I gave you all I could off me.
I told you not to break my heart..my trust.
I loved you with ALL of my soul.
Seems it was all for nothing.
I've been broken before.
I loved you.
I meant every kiss.
I don't know what to feel.
My feelings are dissolving away with each tear.
You don't know the extent of my past.
You don't know how battered I've been.
The lengths I've been dragged through.
The secret I keep within.
Don't push me too far off the edge because I will not wake up to you.
I have so much pain inside.
Mental & emotional abuse hits the hardest.
I feel myself dying inside again.
The light keeps fading from my eyes.
My heart keeps beating off tune.
It's sitting fragile in my chest.
My skin keeps aching for an electric touch.
My mind is so far away.
I keep reaching out to pull it back but it's getting harder & harder.
Worst part is that no one cares..
When I'm not here don't look for me.
Wherever I need people the most they take the knife and twist it in harder.
Don't look for me.
Don't speak to me.
Don't touch me.
Don't hurt me ever again.
Dragging my knuckles on the sidewalk
I find myself hoping for a spark
that would confirm my mechanical makeup
Titanium and servos buried mere inches beneath faux flesh
Friction, it would seem,
is the only force powerful enough to reveal me to myself
I lost it
I can't remember
One day it
Just left me
My joy and sadness
All for what
To turn me into
I am a fake
Everyday my body
By the stupid
Which caused more
Pain than it took
I cried for weeks
For no reason at all
Just a lack of emotion
Labour all day to make another man's dime.
I find myself on the wrong side o' this paradigm.
Turn on the television, distract me from my career.
There's a newsman speaking, I'm sorry I didn't hear.
There's a politician speaking, I'm sorry, it's not very clear.
There's an army of robots marching, excuse me while I blankly stare.
let me lose my mind to the screen.
jingle your keys before me.
I am bereft of independent thought,
what our ancestors predicted this was not.
For those on top, this is what they want,
an army of robots bereft of thought.
The later called the first,
When the future settled on the moon,
And the sky was a city
The divine incarnated,
And the earthlings become,
Angels and demons
Waving swords and shields
They soaked the dust with blood
And with each sun
Sparked a fire,
On the snowy mountain
The low man laid in a rubble
And the celestial dined on the stars
Watching fireworks on a New Year's
Drunk on wine by their cushions
This they called,
And I a robot,
In this dump on Saturn,
That watched it all,
Before, I was junked
They built me, standard-grade,
But with one crucial chip missing.
While other models are made
Programmed for social networking.
Laughter and jibes, except
This variant groping in the dark.
Much signs to intercept,
Machine simmers, overheats, sparks.
Every version upgrade,
Alas, still just one step behind.
Patience in every trade;
Stranger, if you could be so kind...
Silver skin and copper veins
Rusty joints and beta brains
No one thought, I.E. Me
Would get to FEEL differently
My mouth could say the functions
Every thing from meaning to time
To the way airplanes mimic birds
But never could it find those words
And yet with your presence
Your file hidden and bound
A corruption in my databanks
404 Not Found.
I can name you every color
In the spectrum of the light
I cannot seem to find a name
In the coloring of your eye
I cannot name your existence
It's far different than I
I am but a robot
And you are something I cannot describe
How can you compute
Even more than me
Yet still have the essence
To make you want to BE
What ARE you?
What have you done?
You've made me feel frightened
Of what I've become
I know I am not a robot
But that is how I think
So with this Will I have installed
What will become of Me?
Fear not little one,
Everyone has a purpose.
How quaint you must feel,
Like destiny ripping at your wired circuits,
Looking for meaning.
Looking for purpose.
It's not just you,
We're all wired that way.
Don't lose heart,
Your work, though minimal, has purpose.
Know that there is meaning in everything we do,
For there is a master plan, working itself out.
Even if it seems useless, faint, or unimportant,
Don't lose hope,
Do not faulter,
Don't stop or stutter,
You do more than pass the butter.
I've conjured a clone
More successful, more attractive, more lively than me.
Taking them into my home,
I feed and take care of them, I polish their bolts and bits.
How I wish my bones could shine silver like their aluminum ribs.
I dream of being as productive and managing,
As talented, daring
I sometimes get the urge to peek under my skin to search for foil bones,
But I crave more than the cold sensation of chrome.
Why do I feel this way?
If I'm machine,
Where will I go when you die?
Where will I stay?
My dear friend, I do not have answers, I only have more questions for us to ponder.
However, I believe when I lay down to sleep
Your engine turns off,
And your gears stop turning.
When this happens do you imagine a dream?
Or do you imagine you are living?