In and out Round and round Loop the loop Come back down
Breathe in and out The rope goes round and round The knot goes loop the loop He jumps but doesn't come back down.
Sorry if this is depressing and **** but if you've read any of my other poems recently then you know my friend Alfie killed himself a couple of weeks back. He hanged himself. He was 14. He took drugs but we didn't tell anyone, scared of breaking the fragile trust he had in us. I knew there was something wrong after I met him in the park that morning yet he never showec up to school. They'd had a call supposedly from his dad saying he would be absent. It wasn't from his dad, it was from Alfie. Alfie hung himself from an apartment block stairwell 2 hours later. He didn't send a text to say goodbye. He didn't have a note with him. I couldn't watch the CCTV footage but Lily, his girlfriend, did. I've slept at her house a lot since that day. Making sure she doesn't follow him. Her parents hardly notice her and she can walk around the house in short sleeves and not be questioned once about the fresh cuts or old scars. We avoid talking about it. We both think about it though. The call I get and 5:47 pm , while I'm walking home, with Lily sobbing down the phone telling about how it isn't fair and nothing is worth anything anymore. At this point I don't know what she's talking about so I asked but wish I hadn't. Alfie hanged himself. Alfie committed suicide. Alfie is dead. I can't stop thinking about it. I'm sorry I guess you probably didn't read that but if you did thanks for sticking with me. I needed to write the whole story somewhere.
Like a hungry shark has loneliness again come to feed upon my heart and mind. Ravenous and savage it feeds upon a soul that warmth and love has left behind. Once again a mind and heart that love avoids is to the darkness lead. Bloodied, mauled and torn to shreds, remnant carcass left floating dead. Never sated and without remorse it tears, as it feeds there in the empty dark. Savagely, ever feeding, ever gnawing, ripping into my souls last hopeful spark. Hungry, starving, ravenous and in frenzy and seemingly never fully fed. No worth, no value, adrift, no purpose to any futures' plan but still I am not dead. Razor teeth intent upon taking every ounce of my last mortal dream and hope. Until mind is convinced that it's only peace is best found in a loop of sturdy rope. This is the game that shark and loneliness play so often within my heart and mind. The shark, the loneliness, love or a length of rope who wins I am still yet to find.
I hate these days when they come... never knowing the duration or if it is the last time.
I myself feel the sensation of the rope, Which is just pulling from both side: To get accomplishments with the hope; People are just involved in the stretching it wide.
Even ignoring the rope pride, Just deeming it the iota type; And forcefully snatching uptight! In the melody to get the triumph height.
I am the witness of the rope strain, It might not bear that much pulling pain tautly! It seems to be losing the layers of its skin in the flake gradually: But, People are enjoyed by seeing with the soul of the- drain.
Composed by Urooba Fatima.
This poem is a metaphor of that person who is swing between two thoughts or two human.