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It looks almost
To good be true
Stood straight up
So what's a girl to do?

It's always good
to get a little tease
Before you **** it
all in to please.

So I grab it with both hands
Holding it, firm at the hard base.
Craving it so bad,  so glad
it's almost in my face.

My lips are ready
I take it all in
My throat is relaxed
Ready to perform a sin

Some say its *****
It's not like that for me
I love it, I even crave it
it makes me smile with glee

I **** real hard hard
I hold on tight
With one pull done
Good done right

A Milk white coat
Starts to build  to the top
My mouth in place
I Take it all, I don't slop.

Hits my throat
I **** it all
One big haul

I drain it clean
I take a minute to gloat
I wipe my mouth
I smile, I dote.

Laying my head back
I think to myself...

I better clean  up
Because It won't take long
Before I crave the sweet taste.
Of the big
The Huge,
The long
Sweet taste of my
****
So, the rings of Saturn are new,
In the scheme of things, a novelty!
I wonder what that means to the few
Who cling to the beliefs of Astrology?

Now we've got a blood red eclipse
And the Moon has acquired star billing?
Leading of course to The Apocalypse
And our future being totally thrilling!

Those things up there aren't any more round
Than they have been all of our history!
Come on people, don't look up look down,
There's a world right here needs fixing.
Satan's consigliere,
Immoral-contrary, the '******' in Mary,
The 'chaos' in theory, the gassed-out canary-
Imperious, ******* nefarious; battle-weary,
Serious schism like Arius' controversy,
Offer no quarter, devoid of the sense of mercy,
Drink when I'm thirsty
The blood like wine and I dine on the swine I enchanted, like Circe.
Some random verse....
muna 4d
i'm sorry i don't see the humour in life
sorry can't laugh stupidly about everything
with you
all you'll get from me is synthetic smiles
all you'll get from me is forced chuckles
and condescending nods
because really.......
i never get the joke
"Hey. Are you giving to the Yemen charity? There's a UK nationalist appeal for the refugees from the conflict."

"Yemen? You mean that bit on the edge of the Red Sea, yeah?"

"Wow. I'm impressed. I thought you failed Geography at school. I did so you must have, too. Considering..."

"Yeah. Well, it was boring as ****. All I remember from Geography class is ******* oxbow lakes and irrigation. That's something for your ****, innit? Pipes and that..."

"I don't think Ethiopian farmers shove pipes up their arses to grow crops..."

"But they do use ****, innit? Same as here. We grow like... potatoes and carrots in ****. You know that, right?"

"What...? Just stop. I haven't got time. I'm collecting for the Yemen appeal. Are you giving?"

"No chance, bro."

"What?! Why not? You've got a ******* heart, haven't you? Imagine if it were your kids, your grandmother starving to death..."

"I'll tell you why, bro. This t'ing in the Yemen, this war...religious is it?"

"What war isn't religious"

"Actually most of them, bro. Religion might be a flag to wave but it ain't the reason for war. There's always something hiding under the god-cloth, gee. Trust. Might be greed for resources. Might be land border control. Politics, bro then religion. That's war. Even if it looks the other way around."

"Have you been watching David Ike again on YouTube? What did I tell you? Once a racist, always a racist. The man thinks he's the ******* Oracle of Delphi."

"No, man. I don't watch him anymore. He looks like one of the ******* Village of the ****** kids, grown up. And he chats ****. Mainly that, innit."

"Well, anyway. Look. War is bad and any help is good..."

"Is Britain helping?"

"Yes. Of course. This is a UK appeal."

"Then why is it selling Saudi Arabia guns, planes, tanks and bombs to fight the war against Yemen, innit?"

"Umm...well, countries need security, I suppose."

"Nothing to do with Al-Mahra then, no?"

"Where are you getting your information? What is this? I feel like a criminal here!"

"Just asking, bro. That's all. Just wondering why you thought this war t'ing is kicking off? You like politics and that, don't you?"

"The war is because of rebel insurgency from Houti partisans trying to take back land already given to Saudi Arabia in previous agreements and depose governments in line with Shia Islam laws."

"Why don't nobody stop it? Like Iran if its Shia versus Sunni? Or the ******* UN?"

"Are you off your meds? You seem... different today. More paranoid than usual..."

"Thank you, Mister Propaganda. Now can I tell you the real reason, gee?

"Please do. I'm all ears."

"At the ****-end of Yemen is al-Mahra. The Saudis want a transnational oil pipe through to the coast.
Yemen has oil but the pipe is more important, bro. It'll bring in big dollar and ease transport of oil to other countries.
Every country bar Yemen stands to profit from the pipeline. Even Iran. Which is why it does ****-all but denounce the war, innit?
Same as everyone else. They cry wolf, say 'shame on you' and collect money, innit? But under the table, they're selling the guns to hurry up the result and it works two ways for the UK.
Not only do they get rich funding the ******* war but if the Saudis win, Britain will get rich, too. And if the war carries on for all time, they get rich. Its win-win, gee. A bless t'ing."

"..."

"So why would I give money to a country that's backing a war out of greed?
The charity is British, yeah?
So I'm then funding more ******, right?
I'll give money through crowdfunding online, gee. Straight to the people who need it, not through some conscience-money charity ****.
Trust that ****, bro. That ain't David Icke. That's me."

"I never thought..."

"You people never do, bro."

"You people? You have been watching Icke, haven't you!?"

"I mean you conscience-monkeys. People who jump on a good cause because it raises their esteem and public profile.
Something to write on Facebook, innit?"

"You're damaged. I can't take much more of you."

"... Said the wound to the salt, right?"

"..."

"Crowdfunding bro. That's all I'm saying. Hey, you fancy a curry? I'm buying."
God answers our prayers
just like we answer the door to Jehovas Witnesses-
that's why it never happens.
Dear God,
give us the strength to get through today... and each day until we meet you again.
Amen,
Humanity

............................

Dear Humanity
give me a break from listening to your whining... and for Peter's sake live as long as possible. Having you here will be a ******* ball-ache.
All you do is complain and beg forgiveness or fortitude. And what do I get?
A nice sing-song, a load of killing in my honour and my name dropped about a trillion times to justify every ******* egotistical action you people make?

Newsflash: I gave you freewill for a reason-
SO YOU WOULDN'T ******* PESTER ME FOR FAVOURS!

If you want to please me, then please... stop bothering me.
I've got enough on my plate managing the angels and balancing the universe; I don't need to be wet-nursing you lot.

If you haven't evolved spiritually now to deal with your hardships then you never will. Don't call again.

Regards,
God (the Father)
I undressed for my shower,
And noticed something *****;
Something I've used all my days,
Suddenly disappeared.

I had it with me yesterday,
And used it several times;
I always put it in its place,
And took care of what was mine.

I really can't explain it;
Now what's a fella do;
I'm not to blame,
I refuse the shame
Of the hashtag framed MeToo.
"Good match lastnight, innit? Good moves. Entertaining."

"I don't watch football."

"You don't watch football, bro? You ill or some'ing? Football is life, bro."

"No. Football is a footballer's life. Not yours. That's half the problem right there; thinking you're the same social standing as a professional football player. You're not. You're mediocre at football and can't follow instructions. You'd make a terrible team player."

"Wow. I'm pickin' up some jealousy-vibe, man. Some real passion there. Like how I feel about football, innit?"

"How do you you feel about football . I've got to ask. Already I know the answer so its more a rhetorical question than anything... "

"I love my team, bro. Its about loyalty and supportin' your roots, innit? It's about being part of the community."

"For once you've surprised me. That's quite well-put. It IS about loyalty and supporting your community. Nottingham might be a ****-hole but it's our home, right?"

"No, man. I support Liverpool. They're the dons, bro."

" But you're from Nottinghamshire...."

"Yeah. I know. But Nottingham Forest are ****. I wanna support a team that wins, innit?"

"(... sigh...)"
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