I wish I could smile
But somehow
Everything just takes
A little bit more
Effort...


F.Z.N

You are flesh and bone
But your heart is stone.


F.Z.**N

I keep saying that maybe
there's a place for you and I;
a parallel world where we can
love each other unconditionally.

Somewhere safe,
somewhere you don't have to
question everything I do
and every word I tell you.

But the truth is I don't think
such world exists.
We had it here, yesterday
and we lost it.


F.Z.N

I remember when we knitted
Our fingers together
And our lives interwove.
They eventually became whole,

And they eventually broke.


-- Eleanor

When love hits two people
It's far beyond their capacity
It's not a choice.
Like God, bored in his kingdom,
Ordered the angels
To stitch them together
As one piece of fabric
Through thick and thin.

Then the Devil, jealous of such union,
Does his best to set them apart again.
He tries loosening the threads,
Uses scissors to rip them.
He even makes little unnoticeable holes
Just to damage the cloth.

But they must be smart
They must see through his villain attempts
At spoiling the embroidery of love
God sewed on the cloth of their heart.
They must resist.

Sometimes they do
Sometimes they don't.


F.Z.**N

You and me and them and you
Alone
In grieving,
In dying,
In laughing, too.

Us and us and them and her,
One spirit
As old as time.
One body
The Gaia's
Green, blue and at last multicoloured.

You, and me and you and me and me and you and you and me,
With twin visions,
Extraordinary reunion
Finally, eye in eye.

You and us, you
Enemies to us
But we not to you,
We love you.


-- Eleanor

I will never write about you again,
I swear to myself...


F.Z.N

I wanted to fly
Beyond imagination
So I slept
And never woke up again.


F.Z.N

between the breaths, the boredom, the blues, the *****
the smokes, the sacrifices, the smiles, the sadness, the snooze
the poems, the problems, the pros and the cons
the needles, the nobodies, the neurotics, the loose
the careless, the fearless, the dreamless, who knows
the tulip, the lilac, the jasmine, the rose
the suns, the moons, the earth, the birth
the nights, the fights, the lies arise
the loneliness
among the hate, the fate, the date delayed
the loneliness
along the tongue, a song, wrong, wrong
the loneliness
inside the heart, a part apart, from the start
the loneliness, the loneliness, the loneliness...

"and the crowd, so many people,
and the cries, the laughs, the whispers...
Too many mouths talking in my ear, my left ear
Is it the chaos of unphysical presences ?
But I touch them, I see them, I hear them...
And nobody is here" -- Myra


-- Watercolour

In wanting to forget
There is regret,
Pain,
And love.


F.Z.**N

I saw him today
He seemed happy,
He is happy, you know.
So I'm happy, too.


--Eleanor

You say, don't be selfish
Let me live the life
That was given to me.
You say, don't be selfish
Let me go.

But how
Am I supposed to do that
When you are my life.
And when I tell you that
You say,
Please don't do anything stupid.
And I smile,
Fine I will live a life
Of misery for you.


F.Z.N

I put my arms around you
to keep you warm
and you make sure
you remain cold.


F.Z.N

We had just made love
When I kissed your slightly parted lips
And tasted goodbye in them.


F.Z.N

I smile at you
And you think I fake it
You smile at me
And I think you fake it
Because you think I fake it
But I don't fake it
I say, why do you fake it
You say, why do you fake it
I say, I don't fake it
You say, sorry I think you fake it.
So I smile again and fake it
And you smile back and fake it
Again
And all we ever do
Is fake smiles
And barely talk.


F.Z.N

I am ready,
So let me know when you are.


F.Z.N

You were a petal of a rose
That settled on my palm
And I blew you away.


-- Eleanor

If I was a telly
You would pretty much be
The remote control
That turns me on.


F.Z.N

It wasn't the heartbreak, no.
It wasn't the anxiety or lack of motivation.
It wasn't the drugs that killed him.

I think that he simply got tired
Of all those lined up houses
In his neighbourhood.


F.Z.**N

My kind murderer,
your eyes burn like caramel
and melt my insides.
You light a cigarette
and it awfully reminds
me of what once upon a time
was my heart.
And you say, everything turns
to dust with time.
But my kind murderer,
you are not time, you are fire
bringing me to ashes.


F.Z.N

In your embrace
A new sun rose
From the darkness
That kept us away.
I opened my eyes
And saw you,
The day was born.


-- Eleanor

I love you.

Silence

I suppose I'll take the hint.


F.Z.N

God created Adam and Eve
Not Adam and Steve.

But God also created ******,
So why should I believe?


F.Z.**N

My bag heavy
With sanity
Slowed my steps
Before I dropped it
In the middle of nowhere
And started to run
Toward insanity,
Toward you.


F.Z.**N

Alike in loving each other
And different in everything else.


F.Z.N

Sometimes losing an appetite
Isn't a syndrome of an illness
It's a side effect
Of losing interest
In life.


F.Z.N

I once had a human heart
It beat right in my ears
Now the buzzing of a fly
Seems to have replaced
All the inner sounds
That were eating me
From within.

There is this girl
With cute tiny feet
And she once was my friend.
Now she's screaming
Writing a suicide letter
On ***** sheets.
Sheets I climbed into
Without guilt,
Without remorse,
Without emotion.

I said, "sorry I am poison.
I contaminated you
But you shouldn't have touched me."
I said,
"I try to live up to expectations
But most of the time I fail.
Most of the time I hurt me."

She wasn't listening anyway.
For her, I had ceased to exist.
For her I had no heart beat.

But I hope she can still
Hear hers.


F.Z.**N

Perhaps that we will meet in another life;
In the birds, the trees or the air.


F.Z.N

I am icy cold
Because nobody handles
My liquid state.


F.Z.**N

Most people were conditioned
To think in a certain way.
Some cope with it with submission
Others with rebellion.

All the same
In the end.


-- Eleanor

I spoke to my soul about love
She said, do not question it
Do not ignore it.
I resorted to my heart,
Guess what happened.
It skipped a beat
And I was reborn.
I asked scientists and doctors
And people who knew drugs
They said, it's all chemicals
I shouldn't bother myself with
They said I'm too strong
To let it ruin me.
But when you and I
Got under your blankets
And I told you I loved you
You said nothing.


F.Z.N

Life has nothing
That can amaze
Let alone impress,
And the future
Is faceless.
I want to die
In silence.
I want to disappear
Off of myself,
Off of the sphere.


F.Z.**N

You are Tequila shots
In perfect desperado
Your days heavy and long

Your nights, sudden aislado.

I am wine glasses
In bittersweet nocturno
My days short

My nights, eternal inferno.

We always swallowed those notes
Like fire down our throats.


-- Eleanor

Watery hands
Dripping from my own
Before the mirror.
Juggling with the unseen
Parts of me.

Portraits of the dearest ones
Long dead and gone
They're zooming out
I am zoning out.


--Eleanor Rigby

This world is bound to end one day
And believe me darling
It's not going to go out of its way
And make our love infinite

So I understand if you must go,
I totally understand.


F.Z.**N

She moaned the most painful moan
Drowned by the sound of laughter,
Veiled by always looking happy
And nobody heard it.


F.Z.N

I am tired of carrying my body.
It's heavy, really heavy.


F.Z.**N

Love is a butterfly
That looks beautiful
From afar.
It's wild, it's free,
It's undoubtedly happy.
Some try to catch it,
Others simply watch it.
And I, like the rest
Was curious.
Perhaps too curious
For my own good.

Love is a butterfly
That looks beautiful
From afar
Though ugly
Very ugly
When you get too close,
Believe me.


F.Z.**N

In an ugly world
Full of ****
You were made of ****
And beautiful.


--Eleanor

Here's a rope, baby.
I know that you're smart enough
To know what to do with it.


F.Z.N

I am green and wild
You are blue and vague
And together
We make the earth.


F.Z.N

You are still alive for a reason.
Make sure you find it.


F.Z.N

You feel safe, darling.
Just like home
When it's raining.


F.Z.**N

People always ask me about you
Especially at the liquor store.

And I don't know how to tell them
We don't drink together any more.


F.Z.**N

Is your heart
In your chest
Or is your heart
In your head?


F.Z.N

You are taller than he was
And good for a change.


F.Z.**N

By the by,
I am a tweak of reality,
Quite f'rtile. Touch me
And impregnate me
With w'rds.


F.Z.**N

You are the morphine kinda person;
Dangerous and addicting.


F.Z.N

I look at her.
I look at myself.

She is one to love
And I'm one to rid of.


F.Z.**N

**** me,
**** me with your
Empty promises
And double speeches.
**** me,
Shoot me with the bullet
I once gave you as a vote.


F.Z.**N