I want to climb every step to the rooftop of the tallest building i can find - and shout "YOU DO NOT DEFINE ME!"
I want to laugh in the face of the chemicals in my brain whose job everyday is to convince me that i am unbalanced.
I want to stand tall and continue living my life in plain view of the people who tried to keep me down.
For every 1 moment that I feel better There are 15 more where my hands shake for no reason or I get so overwhelmed that I literally force quit my existence Forcefully shut off my brain continue to find peace in the chaos.
I climb the steps to reach the top to yell from the roof tops But for every day that passes 2 floors are added to the top
I see blood on the walls. Tears falling down like rain. Everyday I think about you even when its part of pain. 3, 2, 1.. I hate you. I never wanna see you. You know what, I wish I never met you! 1, 2, 3.. I love you. I miss you. Can't wait to see you! 3, 2, 1.. It's happening again isn't it? I wonder if he loves me? Will he break my heart? 1, 2, 3 Oh god, not again.. I'm not good enough I will never love again.
I just realized how lonely i've been all my life. This **** kinda *****. Can't even get a bf irl is sad.. Ah, i hate my love life.
i am so exhausted of the cotidian the daily the unorthodox. i want to be afloat, no more of this suspended waiting no more of this nonsense. i want silence, not bliss, i want not the love but a mere kiss, a breath of air inspired into my throat warmly. i want too much already... a little more sleep a little more warmth PATIENCE or, maybe death.
~ if you knew the sun would never rise again would you love me then? ~ could we be together forever if forever was only tonight? ~ if it all meant nothing would i be your everything then? ~ if you knew it was the last time would you say goodbye? ~ or would you stay then, until the end? ~