Father’s Day is here
A holiday I tend to dread
Scrolling through social media
Seeing so many great fathers
Feeling a bit like an outcast
Father
A stranger to me
Gave me half my DNA
And nothing else
Stepfather
Charmer
Narcissist
Mentally a child
It would feel wrong
To post the sappy picture
Write the sappy caption
Pretend there’s a deep relationship there
Father’s Day
Always unconventional for me
I celebrate my mom
Playing both parental roles
I celebrate my grandpa
Always showing me parent-like love
I celebrate my Heavenly Father
Who loves me more than anyone else
Sure
Father’s Day is isolating
But at least I have someone to love
Someone to celebrate
I don’t open up about this part of my life that much but yeah Father’s Day is stupid I am my own dad *finger guns*
one in ten women they say
that’s a hell of a lot of women

but still i’m here
at twenty years of age
speaking with the doctor
about infertility
and pain only manageable by
hormones and narcotics

we talk of a diagnosis
only discoverable by surgery
there has to be a better way
there has to be
endometriosis.
Caitlin Jun 4
It was the way we were two people with the same heart beat-
the same wave length-
that’s what I miss.
I miss knowing you were in the same room without having to look for you.
Now the silence is deafening- it’s how I imagine it feels after conjoined twins are separated.
I used to be able to tell how your how day went from just a look,
and now I battle with myself to send a text because I don’t want to bother you.
Someone cut our fate yarn, but not my heart strings
I just want one good day.
Sometimes I feel like it’s hard to ask for.
It hurts.
June 1st
Could have been a year with my ex and on top of all that my close friend left for the military.

And then the one person you really need can’t even be there.
Doesn’t even care enough to be there.

I know now that with certain things I am on my own. I have always been I always will be.

It’s heart breaking.

I’m just ready for that clock to hit 12:00.
Just end it already.
Ugh.

                           With love,
                               Kirsten
Just wanna end it.
Christina Jun 1
dear words,

sometimes i hate you
It's funny how so little can mean so much.
Almost two years ago I was riding on a bus.
Two seats behind me some of my classmates were playing Kiss Marry Kill.
I was largely uninterested until I heard my name.

The only person in that group I would have considered myself to be friends with said with out a seconds thought or hesitation "Kill. Definitely Kill."

It's funny how three words can mean so much.

It's funny how so little can mean so much.
Almost eight years ago I was walking to lunch.
I was being picked on by my classmates. I told a teacher, whom I thought would do something, and she just said sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me.

Its funny how two minutes can mean so much.

Almost ten years ago I met my best friend.
I saw she was sitting alone so I joined her. I told her she was very pretty, and we became the best of friends. Eight years later she started to make the wrong choices and basically became a whore.

Its funny how something I cared for deeply meant nothing to you.

Barely three years ago I met you.
I saw you walking to school one day so I caught up and joined you.
Before that day we barely talked, but we became very close.
You were the first to know I was panromantic.
You were the first to know that in terms of sexuality I am a lesbian.
You were always the first to know.

Its funny how simple actions mean so much.

Barely a month ago our friendship blew up.
You seemed to forget about me and you were pushing me away.
Your words and actions made it seem like you didn't care.
There are still so many unanswered questions,
Even if we are still friends.

In china they don't trow away broken dishes.
They seal the cracks with gold.
We sealed our cracks,
But we will always see them.

Why, tell me, are the cracks unspoken of even if they've healed?
Why, tell me, was I never looked after in school?
Why, tell me, did you break our beautiful friendship?
Why, tell me, does everyone hate me?
Ugh This isn't even really a poem but whatever,
Ella May 24
My room may be a tip
And mostly my mood swings dip
I'm clingy and needy
And maybe a little greedy
I'm insecure
And of this world I'm unsure
I'm constantly afraid
That you will not have stayed
There's a beehive in my chest
That will not be put to rest
I don't know what to do
I don't know what is true
I'm absurdly confused
And I feel overused
I feel refused
I feel falsely accused
I feel abused
I feel amused
I feel unused
I feel excused
I am bruised
I feel misused
I feel bemused
I am never much enthused
Yes, I'm hurting inside
Yes, last night I cried
Yes, I have tried
Yes, I have wished I died
But all things aside,
I love you.
ugh
X
I’m done
I don’t want to talk
Your face makes me uneasy
Your name makes me queasy
You come out of nowhere
Saying you miss me
It stings
I feel guilty for what I do
And what I don’t do
It hurts
I apologize
Though there’s no need
You say you understand
But you don’t
You really
Really
Do
Not
Understand
No one really does
But you
Especially
Do not understand
So stop pretending
If you think we could talk this out
It’s crystal clear
You don’t understand
The emotions you spill fall on me like bricks
Weighing me down with every syllable
Making me wish I was not myself
Making me wish I was a past me
A me that wasn’t tired
A me that wasn’t sick
A me that wasn’t hurting
I mourn my past me
And you do too
This can’t work
I can’t deal
Left on read
I’m sorry
someone I really don’t want to interact with texted me last night and it made me emotional woot woot
I am tired, but I cannot fall asleep.
I am hungry, but nausea repels my appetite.
I am thirsty, but I don’t feel like drinking.
Distance makes me question
Whether I am taller than someone or not.
I haughtily hover along gravity
To confirm my advantage in height
Only to become distant again
And find distance’s illusion annoying my confidence.
Lips smack after taking a swig of a beverage
Or to signal a break in one person’s talking.
It disturbs me as though nail rims scrape chalkboards.
Whoops!  There goes my ego:
Blaming anything outside of me!
For the thirsty line, as an example, I always get thirsty at night (when preferably I should be fasting from drinking RIGHT before bed) yet, in the morning when my body should be taking fluids in, I don't necessarily "crave" water in the morning.  Hope that clarification makes sense (this poem just states instances on occasion, not a daily basis according to the "ego" that posted this poem).
Natasha Apr 27
You're inconsistent
and so dramatic
True to yourself, chiselled from stone
sometimes I've just about had it

But as your lips trace my collarbones
I remember why it's all worth it
And as your hand tightens around my neck
I think what did I do to deserve this?

This ecstasy, true to the name so perfectly
electric static pleasure, a conductive party
all squeezed inside of me.

And the way you kiss me- so rough yet tender
sends me on another bender
and daddy I can't come down
even when you just stop and watch me tremble.

So I'm begging you please,
shoot up my veins with your
uncontrollable hunger for me
cut my wrists and drink the endless
euphoria I bleed.
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