I slowly debilitate into nothingness
For never before have I known this
Losing my appetite and my mind
Leaving my comfort far behind
Blinded by beauty, oh your smile
Could make this life seem worthwhile
There is nothing that I wouldn't do
For a chance to relax, just us two
Laying outside, beneath the moon
That shines but half as brightly as you
Let's talk about this.
Because I feel like I'm about to fall into that deep abyss.
So, let's listen to me then.
I want this to end.
You keep on talking about my weight.
I'm sure you do this, to motivate.
I know I'm ugly because I'm fat.
I know you all have been thinking that.
"Your shirt is looking a little tight."
"I'm sure you have a big appetite."
"Here I bought you a shirt that's 3 times the size you actually are!"
"You have a two piece swimsuit?! That's bizarre!"
Just leave me alone!
I get it, I've grown!
We are all going to die.
So why do you care so much about my BMI!?
I DREAMED OF BISCUITS WHILE LYING IN BED,
SOMETHING YOU CAN'T DO WHEN YOU'RE FINALLY DEAD,
I DREAMED THAT MAYBE I WOULDN'T WAKE UP,
BUT FIRST I HAD TO DEAL WITH AN OVERFLOWING CUP,
PERHAPS I'LL STAY HERE - NEITHER AWAKE OR DECEASED,
OF LONGING FOR EVERYTHING MY APPETITE HAS INCREASED,
YOU CAN'T TOUCH ME OR CHANGE MY MIND,
TO STAY IN THIS LIMBO I AM RESIGNED
TO MAKE THE BEST OF WHAT I'VE BEEN GIVEN,
I'M NOW IN MY OWN KIND OF HEAVEN, WHERE
I CAN CONJURE UP EVERY NEED BY
FLICKING THRO' FILES AND SELECTING MY FAVOURITE
SMILES; SOMEONE'S SHAKING MY SHOULDERS BUT
TO NO AVAIL- WHATEVER I WANT, I WILL NOT FAIL.
I'm going out to face the monster
She has hollow eyes and drool on her lip
I summons up all the courage I can foster
I'll stand tall and shoot straight from the hip
It stares at me with a snarl on it's snout
It's teeth are sharp they mean to pierce
I can't help but wonder what this farce is all about
Because this beast is looking mighty fierce
I slowly edge my way to the bag
It stares at me intensely
I'm hoping my steps don't lag
It's appetite is immensely
I pour the food into the bowl
Her tail starts waging like hell
I had reached my goal
Now my dog will have to wait for the next dinner bell
"I'm just tired..."
Excuse one for the silence that ensues.
She listens as he tells her he refuses to hurt her
...even though she aches as the words leave his lips.
Triple chocolate chocolate chip frosting is all she wants.
"I didn't sleep well..."
Excuse two for the agitated responses.
Her best friend has distanced herself
...but expects her to just sit by and wait to be wanted again.
Triple chocolate chocolate chip frosting gags her.
"It was a rough night..."
Excuse three for the silent tears that stream down her face.
Her father tells her she's a spoiled, stupid bitch
...but acts like he's a genius that's greater than God.
Food loses its appeal entirely.
"I don't need a mirror to see myself..."
Excuse four for her avoidance of reflective surfaces.
Her mirror has become her worst enemy
...reflecting her flaws and screaming her issues.
She no longer has an appetite.
Excuse five... and six for all the things she does in a day.
She's breaking, crying, and dying
...but its been repeated so many times her friends have begun to believe it.
Food now makes her want to throw up.
seven, eight, nine, ten for all the things she needs to deny
her mask of a smile makes everyone believe them all
...no one realizing how unhappy she is
she eats...but only because she doesn't want them to worry.