Levels that went unchecked,
were left to harshly fluctuate.
You say It's just all chemicals,
and that I'm only very distrait.
I start to feel like a test subject,
as you experiment different pills.
Just trying to fix my chemicals,
so maybe I won't feel these chills.
Polyols and isocyanates
And one part dove.
I'm left feeling so empty.
They make me feel worse.
It's only my reality.
Daddy was the first.
I feel it,
But it is only me
Can't act "normal" for you.
Very well if you don't see
Reality goes askew.
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, **** you schizophrenia!
“I wanted to hold on to someone. But even my inner circle seemed far away. Some seemed to not care about what I had to say. My life seemed unstable just like the chemicals in my brain. I just wanted someone to care, to actually truly care about me. Maybe they did, but I couldn’t see it. Maybe they were there offering their support but I was too deaf to hear it. Too blinded and deafened by my own pain and loneliness. I feel I have nothing to hold on to. Nothing. No purpose. No motive. No one. And when there is nothing, you find there no purpose to breathe.”
I feel empty.
What do you mean?
Like I shouldn’t be anywhere, there’s a hollow feeling in my chest. I want to lay here forever and never get up. I don’t feel the need to get up and walk or eat. I don’t feel the need for anything.
Then why are you crying?
I don’t know. Maybe my body is weeping for me, it knows it can’t keep me much longer. I feel nothing though, I’m not sad to say. Just empty.
Will you be okay?
I have no idea.
Everything is ****** wack and I want I too throw up. I feel physically sick from my mental health.
I want to drown myself
in ecstasy tablets
I want to fill a room with
so thick you can't see past your fingers
and fall back onto the bed
I want to eat mushrooms
and lose myself
in a whole new world
and sit on the front steps of freedom
as the sun
sends cotton candy clouds
into an explosion of falling birds
I want to drink chemicals
straight from the vat
so that I can watch myself **** blood
and wonder what happened
as I lay puking my insides out
all over the bathroom floor
I want you to blow smoke in my ears
and bake brownies
to fill the hole
in my stomach
and I want you to sit down with me
and watch everything
Life is a drug, so party