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A Sep 27
My love
My enemy
My best friend
My drive me crazy
My Pain in the ****
Yeah that's my baby
Lets fight and argue now
And make up for it later
Not always
But for forever
My love
My oh so funny
Got me laughing
While im crying
My best high
My worst addiction
My little drug
Oh You so handsome
And so lovely
Although
Your intentions were so ****
You're toxic
You're like poison
Still I'll love you til the end
Because you're also so much more
And I'll pretend you meant no harm
I'll disregard the **** you said
Though I cant forget
All the memories you left
Up in my head
My hunny
My dear
My sweetheart
My apologies for the rough start
I promise
Soon it wont have to be so hard
And I hope one day you can learn from this
So you can rest your heavy heart
Whats in the past is considered history
Just move on
I believe in you
My love
My one and only
My kiss and warm hug me
My late night smoking buddy
My good my bad my ****
So evil yet so loving
No goodnight this time
My baby im afraid
That this just may be
My final last goodbye
Here's another just for you
Numbing
Numbing
Numbing
That’s what we do
Dull the feelings
Do whatever it takes
To forget the pain.
SelinaSharday Aug 14
I almost fell in love but I took it buried it with my pen.
Tried to promise to not let it surface again.
My brain forced my logic to creep in.
I just dived back into paper with pen.
I wanted to watch your beauty its like a rainbow.
I reminded myself one day it would turn to winter cold ice and snow.
You walked by me close enough for me to feel the
warm beauty in your shadow.
I told myself it wasn't what could comfort my tomorrow.
You became my beautiful songful muse.
I realized that began to leave me feeling a bit confused.
Bubbles forced themselves out from my harmony they sparkled
they did rise.
To you it was no surprise.
Those bubbles left colorful tears in my eyes.
I begged mercy to keep away any kind of calamity.
Fight away the passions that dazzle to drown me.
Trying to break free..
stringed like kisses planted all over me.
Trying to break free as you  decided to hide from me.
Rise from the tracks you left all over my body and its
memory.
Maybe it was all a jar of unnecessary lies.
Now seeing empty messages unsent replies.
Dreaming about weird unsorted things.
Recalling fingers with no rings.
Giving freely inconsiderately of me.
Almost I almost walked away from me..
Things deserved that are best for me.
I remembered I could cope.
Wait on what's good for me, I remembered there's always Hope.

By SelinaSharday S.A.M All Rights Reserved 2019
.Something said as creatively as could be..who are they.. us we that privately be..trying to stay out of unnecessary things
Nohémie Jul 27
All my friends got friends
Every single one of them
I’m afraid I’ll become a hinderance
As opening up might show my lack of strength
All my friends got friends
While all I have is them

So, how do I cope?
How do I reject jealousy when it wants to comfort me?
When it assures me that alliance benefits me?
When it asks me not to resist?
When it’s presence is so enticing, I can feel it’s breath down my neck, intriguing me more than scaring me
How do I cope?
When they get to experience life outside of our ensemble
Get to see corners my sight won’t reach
Because those experiences are unique to their memories
Memories I wasn’t invited or welcomed into
Memories that didn’t make sense for me to inherit
How do I cope?
When anger sneaks into my morning coffee
The heat burning my tongue and leaving me with a lingering bitterness
Stealing my voice and replacing it with its own to yell that only I can provide happiness
For so long, I’ve tried looking for different things from different people
Distributing parts of my trust to different pieces of the puzzles
So that their whole could make me but their individuality couldn’t break me
But what happens if I stopped at two?
What happens if only two pieces to the puzzle held that much power between them?
And why is it that bringing the two pieces of puzzle together left me so lonely?
I've been having a hard month mentally but I'm always trying to be the person I envision myself to be.

Much love, N.
NM Jun 26
Some days,
I do nothing but remember to breathe;
And some days,
That is enough.
...
Trying to hold on.
They say that heartbreak is one of
the worst feelings you will experience
during your time in this world.
And I used to believe that,
until I was standing and looking at someone
that I wanted,
who wanted me too

but we couldn’t have each other.

Our hands longed to touch one another,
feel a sensation we felt once
and never again.
Run our fingertips over the surface
of each others skin,
and never wanting to stop
because in that moment,

we both felt whole.

And we both felt something
that we didn’t for a really long time,
and maybe we would be okay
because we were meant to feel each others
embrace,
or maybe at the last second,
one of us would pull away

because there wasn’t enough time left for us to feel.

Because maybe it’s better to end things
short and move on,
instead of trailing along
for something we both knew
wouldn’t last much longer.
But something about knowing,
makes it hurt even more.

Because we both knew we were enough for one another.
NM May 14
Why, how, what?
Are the things I asked,
As my tears,
Fell against the cold, clear glass.

I don't want to hear it,
Make it go away,
They're lying grandmother,
This news can't possibly be true,
Believe me, I prayed.

Now here we are,
"I promise I will be fine!"
Little do you know Grandmother,
Your battles are now mine.
We found out my grandmother's cancer has just come back again and she has just started treatment and it's killing me having to see her go through it.
3-4 Years ago when she first had it, I wasn't made aware what was going on so I wasn't as present and didn't understand fully...
Now that I do, it is one of the most painful things I am going through.
I can't eat, sleep, think, focus and I am doing EVERYTHING that I can for her. Anything to be both a caregiver and a support as her granddaughter.
Yet, deep down I can't cope. It's an agony I wouldn't wish on anyone.
I am angry at everyone, yet at the same time I don't want to be alone, but I don't want to bother anyone. I feel terrible.
I don't know what to do...
But against all the dark thoughts I am fighting, she is the main reason I am staying strong.
I have been told that I am as much of her best "medicine" as she is for me, and that very idea alone, is what is keeping me here.

Other than that, I am lost.
A wish upon a star,
That does not exist
Only in my head,
I will persist.

A night after day,
I gaze at the sky.
At my wish upon a star,
A star sparkling so high.

I may have my doubts, still
At least I will hope.
That my wish will one day come true
But for now, I will cope.
The very first poem I wrote.
Sat drinking coffee eating bacon bap In my local supermarket just as I normally do but seem somehow
different
than times before more
a feeling of calm relaxed like an acceptance that I'm coming to terms with
grief
I'm finally coming to know
how to deal with my loss
the answer to keep Helens spirit with me
always
so I can go and do what I wish to, without feeling guilty because Helen will be coming with me just as In
life
and I'm happy with that almost a sence of relief
I can now start to make something of my remaining days
I shall be living for the both of us but the most Important thing to remember together forever and always as said to each other as In
life
Strange feeling today almost of acceptance that my has come to terms with grief that now I know how to cope I deal with grief
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