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juttu Nov 2017
I wanted to jump
A twelve foot fall wouldn't do much harm
Would probably break a bone or two
But would save me from a bigger fall

They would put me on the strongest legal narcos
I could spend a week or two
On the recliner bed in a TV room
With the nurses just a click away
Visitors would be a major pain
But the visits would cease in a couple of days
Then they would forget
or wash their guilt with a phone call

I was tempted to jump
They would call an ambulance
With blaring sirens and nervous men
And a poor soul stuck in the traffic
Would squeeze his vehicle in desperation
To make way for the ambulance
And his friend would go
"लगता है आज फिर किसी ने jump मार दी?"
Marc Hawkins Sep 2017
She came to me
In a morphine haze,
All mousy hair
And summer dress,
The fresh smell of air,
Her smile radiating out,
Magnetic eyes
Drawing me in.
No sinister love
Around here to be found.
I float three feet off the ground,
Hospital mattress
My monkey cloud
On which I drift.

And I drift
Into gentle vision,
Into peaceful sound.
She touches heart,
Warm hands
On ice cold block,
And she thaws me
Through this state
Of unknown fortune,
Tempts me back
Into the land of the living
Whilst leaving me,
With no uncertainty,
That when I awake
She will be gone.
She denies me the choice
Of staying here with her,
Semi-comatose
But happy, at last

Now, I have no
Recollection of her face
Though I know
She was beautiful,
I have no sense
Of her touch
Though I know
It kept me alive.
I am left with
A deep sense of love,
And that, at times,
Is enough

Copyright Marc Hawkins 2017
25 | 31 Poems for August 2017

Take me back to the day when the girl I was crushing on crushed my feelings.
I lost my smile and my confidence, everything changed and I never looked at things the same.
Sometimes I ask myself if I’m really chasing dreams or just chasing heartbreak.
Prescriptions changed but no amount of morphine could ever ease the pain.
Even though it may seem insane, I will always take pride in the scars I gain.
Take me back to the day when the girl I was crushing on crushed my feelings.
The worst thing about it all is that the guy I was compared to wasn’t even half my standard.
There were certain things that we both didn’t mean to say, but words were uttered anyway.
My hyperhidrosis is evident but in all honesty, I try not to sweat the small stuff.
Take me back to the day when the girl I was crushing on crushed my feelings.
Sometimes I ask myself if I’m really chasing dreams or just chasing heartbreak.
There is so much pain and disappointment that my fragile heart can take.
This whole thing hurts but I try my best not to let all my emotions show.
Traveler Dec 2016
11-28-04


I watched you kick, you moaned and you sweat
I gave you all the pills I could get
I let you complain, ***** and than whine
I let you steal my only dime

I let you kick out on my couch
You deceived, you lied and made me vouch
Watching you kick was not a pretty sight
All your demons, all trying to bite

I helped you kick until you finally got right
So why are back at the dope house tonight?
Traveler Tim
Ya I once loved a ****** or two.
re to 08-17
Crimsyy Nov 2016
I watch how much ink
it is taking
to immortalize every inch of you,
I see my pens are wasting,
but I purge the contents of
my heart out for you.

Love is morphine for
the hole in our hearts,
do you notice how
light love feels when you
ignore the dark?
Love is morphine for
all our broken parts;

Capsize me, and
somehow,  I'll be
*less dizzy.
10 | 31 Poems for August 2016

Love me like you promised me you would.
Love me like I still know you can and I still know you can.
For the first time in a long time, I feel a whole lot of love here.
So love, please don’t walk away or decide to disappear from me.
I’m banking on you to not withdraw from the love we have both invested in.
Because the truth is my heart says that you’re the one, my heart is really growing fond of you.
Love, I used to think that I was bad at this beautiful thing people call love.
But I realised that the problem wasn’t the intensity of my affection but rather the quality of people I chose.
Like a rose, from the concrete I rose and I want you to witness my bloom.
You’ve made me question if all the women I have been with before were really worthy of my love, time and effort.
Love me unconditionally, across beautiful South African cities, over the world’s skyscrapers and beyond the depths of time.
I admire how you have loved me this intensely despite how devastating your previous heartbreak was.
Don’t walk away from me because no amount of ***** or morphine will ease the pain.
Let’s escape from reality with our lips locked to a place far away from the stares of prying strangers.
Please don’t walk away or decide to disappear from me not after you promised that you would love me.
Love me wholeheartedly, across beautiful South African cities, over the world’s skyscrapers and beyond the depths of time.
Love me like I still know you can, love me like you promised me you would.
The world has made you feel like an abandoned church but in my eyes you’ll always be a cathedral.
Don’t leave me sitting here alone because no amount of ***** or morphine will ease the pain.
I stood in the rain patiently awaiting your arrival but then I eventually realised that you were the rain.
Your darkness balances out my light, and that’s one of the things that I love about you.
The ocean in your eyes reminds me of the colour of the sky and how I want to dive into the depths of you.
Let me romance you all over again so that you can feel the moment you first fell in love with me.
I want to write poems for you again so that you remember the feeling of losing your breath at the emotions they brought.
I know you miss the smile you once held while falling asleep and the sense of hope and love I brought to your world of loneliness.

You cannot seem to remember how you got to loving me, it all seems to be a distant memory.
What you feel is real but there once came a point in your life where detachment became the only way to cope.
Now I’m standing in front of you with the purpose of providing love and hope.
I know you miss the smile you once held while falling asleep to beautiful poems and peaceful dreams.
Don’t leave me behind because love like yours is hard to find and my words can attest to this.
I once said that you seem to ruin anything good going for you but that’s a lie.
Chances have already been given so let’s both start over because my heart says that you’re the one.
I was yours already way before you asked, "Be mine perhaps?".
Hannah Dec 2015
At your death I was a ghost,
lying next to your body, I tried not to choke.
The suffocation of words I didn't say left me tired and broke.
I wanted to lay in the morgue and
f
  a
    l
      l
asleep with you there,
next to your blue glass eyes and brown curly hair.

The parting gift you left for me-- a dialogue in my head,
your ghost screams at me at night, I’m never alone in my bed.
A chorus of morphine alarms and IV drips silence me; and they sing my songs for you instead.
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