the world suffers with and without me
all things take shape in the way it was meant to be
my attachment to it could affect only me
it breaks me when I am apart from it
when I am not part of bigger things
and they surround me.

not included in movements
missing out on various moments
loss being heavy on me
and tasting the feeling of envy
I like and dislike this and that
but no one ask me of what I think
every one has thoughts of their own
and things are working out just fine.

a disconnected environment
in a deeply wired mess
nothing works as expected
more or less.

It is a thought
I thought a lot
We began
And we end
We live in between
Like a movie scene
But all I want
Is a final happy ending.

it is cheese.

what unease
I feel
the beats heart sound.

my eyes heavy
eyes on screen
the streets empty
it is a beautiful movie scene.

reality so blurred
holes in my dreams
I am running away
while staying in my body
not many people see through
the words I don't mean.

the sun is setting
the birds are loud
what they chirp
I agree with them.

it is incomplete
don't they say
don't face away
it is on me
my burden to carry
and I can't do it.

Why the hardest person to love
is the one looking back at me
through the mirror,
I know what I hide,
I don't impress me,
I can't confound me,
But if not me, who will?

I always felt that i was rare
my name was written
for a beautiful fate ahead
i believed and I cared
but maybe I was just a spare
it is evident as of late
or it was like this forever
my eyeglasses weren't clear
so now that i see
as I compare me and her
and them, it feels so obvious
but there was nothing
I could have done different,
so I was blissfully unaware
I don't have another pair
and there is nothing to repair
it is a line to follow ahead
where life is not fair.

Tumbling and crumbling
I get up and go back to sleep.

No moon, no sun
On earth, no fun
I'd go back to sleep
If I could,
Waking into another realm.

Work left office
And came right at home,
the hours don't start
And the calls don't end.
The laptop glued to my hand,
My eyes burning with the screen
No more commute, no sun
I miss those cafeteria tables.
Feasting on every snack,
No time for lunch and dinner
I don't even leave my bed
Typing away my life.

Feels thump heart
The diagnosis awry,
Emotions stick up
Eyes don't tell
Words don't spell
every thing right,
What goes wrong?

So this happened
And that too
The mind is alive
Not coming to
Conclusion
It is 3am
On my bed since 11
My eyes are wide open
Not sleeping at all.

I was never this vulnerable before,
with the increasing exposure
I feel it all the time
So coward and not confident at all.
The changes occured in these few years
have boosted up my lingering fears.
The world has changed,
while I'm still the same.

It was just yesterday I revealed little of myself to you. Then again I changed within hours and discovered a little more of myself.

Standing in the mirror, the reflection and the light flicker. The candle flame added another warm shade as part of me fade away.

A plunge ahead comes with fall to follow, it is easy when we walk slow. The pace of my thoughts is lost, ahead of me in its exploration.

Someday there will be ease, hopefully with more of the inner peace. The sweater will keep me warm, my armour will save me from harm.

So open to the world and vulnerable for a second and more, shields up in moments later. Trust escapes and gets captured in a matter of time.

It is dizzy and not, words in world and too many thoughts. Aging but learning, drowning but burning, the ironies are shining bright.

The more we know, the less we say
All the spoken words have its consequences
The more is told in silences

The words omitted but heard clearly
What we listen, the words crafted carefully
They deceive the ears that surrounds

Every other agenda works on
What favours whose manipulation
The smile contains no smile
The efforts put to take another mile
Snooping and buttering on sides
Friends and foe, no one decides
Act so nice, what is inside
no one knows till the very end

Dress so good, please all eyes
Give help when it is noticed
Out of sight then eyes vanished
Deceptive tricks up the sleeve
It matters not whom we believe

All playing game with roll of dice
Keeping friends close, enemies closer.

A clear sky
No grey sight
With fist full of desires
green dreamy eyes
I fly away.