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I’ve always wanted happiness, to keep it
Not just feel it.
To never feel the pressure to have an umbrella, allowing the rain to soak my skin and leave the sun to dry my soul.
I’ve always wanted it all.
Nagging at the television, of what’s real and what could be.
A good home was always better than a perfect one.
Oh how I wanted it all!
And to know, it was of existence, while I denied myself the moments.

I wanted it all, but it would seem I needed not it at all.
Hawley Anne Feb 16
Before the sun starts to rise,
before the world awakes.
In the stillness of mornings quiet
thats where you'll find the pain.
Pain of things that you regret,
pain of days gone past.
But the worse pain of them all,
the pain of choices you can't take back.
The things you missed while you were high.
The memories you didnt make.
The little voice at 4 am, you never heard
saying "Mommy, are you awake?"  
The guilt of never being there,
through a feverish night.
The longing for being the only one,
who would make everything alright.
You wish that it was you at night
who scared the monsters away,
and got cuddles in the mornings.
Every single day.
On quiet mornings you wonder what,
would be happening right then.
If you weren't a drug addict?
How much noise would there have been?
You think of how you would go back
in time if only you could.
You wouldn't do the things you'd done.
Instead you'd do what you knew you should.
But the past is past now,
and your choices were made.
So now you sit on silent mornings
with nothing but the pain.
And the knowledge that both your kids,
call somebody else mom,
and how its all your fault because you know
exactly where you went wrong.
Steve Page Feb 14
I should have
sought your hand as we walked,
slowed and not swallowed
my next question

I should have
asked you for one slow dance,
danced instead of imagined
decades on

I should have, could have,
perhaps would have
had we slowed
and given ourselves time
Funny how decades don't fade some memories, even if you can't be sure of them.
Nicole Oct 2023
Hope can be a beautiful thing
But when people show you who they are
It loses it's relevance
Trust the acid burning your stomach
From crying over hurt feelings
Not the good you see in her
Trust the tangled knots
Weighing down your thoughts
Not the "potential" painting your perspective
Trust the emptiness of wasted time
And the regrets you carry
Not the chance she'll show up this time
There's only so many opportunities
You can hope for something different
Before you're the one breaking your own heart

Love yourself enough
To know your worth.
Love yourself enough
To let it go.
Zywa Aug 2023
Strangers are safer,

to them I can openly --

tell all my worries.
Novel "The PowerBook" (2000, Jeanette Winterson), chapter "NEW DOCUMENT"

Collection "Unseen"
My true love you threw your magnetic pebbles your magical out worldly rocks
on my lap
you called my small momma your portal to heaven star seed.
I called your small Daddy
the bridge to heaven
and we whispered to each other
the titles; Mama and Papa.
I guess we lived many lifetimes as man and wife as twin souls interchangeable twin flames before.
In almost every book ever written where love is lost or found and in every lifetime we found each other I'm never alone, we remain glued
just one thought away.
I notice your waves right here on HP they fall on my writ pond and mine fall on yours my beloved.
You might just as well call me Delene where both of us meetings in some mystic time travel space ship.
In love with your poetic waves revealing secrets;
true love always takes chances on Earth and up in some exotic E.T. mother ship.
Mr and Mrs Andrews
with Karijinbba.
unknown Apr 2022
I was there.

In times of need, I was there.
Hugging you tight, even though in pain. I stayed.
Always beside you even when I’m too weak to stand up.
When you needed me, I disregarded everything.
Every pain, every emotions, every single problems I have.
I stayed strong, because you needed me.

Endless chances, endless pain.
It doesn’t go away, but then I was still there.
At your darkest days and all the lies you made, I still believed.
But then where were you when I needed real help?
When I wanted to be better, why didn’t you believed?

I wanted to change, I wanted to make up for what I did.
I wanted to be better.
I wanted to be better.
I wanted to be better.
But then I’m all alone, in tears hugging myself.
No one believed and everyone else wants to leave.

Still, I stayed. I was always there.
Serendipity Jul 2021
Often deserved,
yet seldomly effective.
Brett Jul 2021
Her face; like the moon, a golden summer hue
But I prefer her dressed in blues
Like ocean waves; or Stevie Ray
𝐵𝒶𝒷𝓎, 𝐼’𝓂 𝑜𝓃 𝓂𝓎 𝓌𝒶𝓎

Her body; like a plume, of feathered emeralds
Elegant, and gentle
Like cursive script; or a wind-swept kiss
𝐵𝒶𝒷𝓎, 𝒾𝓉’𝓈 𝑜𝓃𝓁𝓎 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝐼 𝓂𝒾𝓈𝓈

Her soul; like a treasure trove, of good intentions
And one too many exceptions
Like one more last dance; or shotgun romance
𝐵𝒶𝒷𝓎, 𝐼 𝒹𝑜𝓃’𝓉 𝒹𝑒𝓈𝑒𝓇𝓋𝑒 𝒶 𝓈𝑒𝒸𝑜𝓃𝒹 𝒸𝒽𝒶𝓃𝒸𝑒
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