And I start to write the words And I write it by my bloods And I write it in the white board And I do not want it be sold And I will say it a masterpiece of gold And I will keep it in my hold And I lose it And I never be glad
Indonesia, 10th March 2021 Arif Aditya Abyan Nugroho
my pencil strokes are visible my paint is cracking away, from the day i was created pain is all i could portray; im my own little art form either words or art attire, yet, no matter the brush im using im a masterpiece i cant admire
I am at war. with my heart and my brain. my soul and my mind. it’s a free for all battle right in front of my eyes. but instead of attacking each other, they only attack me.
I can feel my heart beating. Too hard. Each pump pushes not only the blood throughout my body and the air in and out of my lungs but it also unleashes doses of pain. lethal in high amounts and unfortunately for me it feels like the whole bottle has been emptied into my system. As I close my eyes, I can hear the words my damaged heart whispers into my ear.
A plea for me to cut away all the ties of this world and to curl up with the only one I know means peace.. Me.
But, my brain is intent on interrupting those thoughts. It has its own need to manipulate the feelings swirling inside of me. It has its own agenda, one where it leaves me standing over a ledge overlooking my own downfall. stranded and wondering,
why do I tear myself down? because my mind tells me to.
the words that wiggle themselves down my eardrums have one and only one goal in mind. and that is to torture me for the rest of my time.
and it’s working.
a storm is brewing within my head. Rain and hail beat down on my brain like they’re the hands and my brain is the drum.
the sound it makes is enough to bring a man to his knees.
a beautiful masterpiece at the price of a life.
but I guess that’s okay because that life never mattered anyways.
or so my mind tells me.
who am I to listen to, when both want me dead? A heart that is tired of beating? Or mind that is tired of thinking?
(Either way, I’m *******.)
I wrote this based off of a picture and I wish you his could see it .. but I’m in the process of launching my blog and I will have ALL of my recent poetry on there ..