They were both
            strangely attached
            to each other,

In arms length,
            nothing more, nothing less.

Being attached
To a person
Breaks the soul
Because humans are impermanent
And so is the happiness they bring

I despise you for making me see through your eyes
I despise you for having let me fall through to your hands that choke
The disguise that i saw under but my weary heart still needed to wonder, what if...

Rupina Dec 2017

I'd never hurt myself but
sometimes I get the urge to cut open my face and disfigure it
Because I wonder if I lose all attachment to myself, I’ll finally be free.

If only it worked like that.

If you need to talk to someone, you can talk to me anytime--please don't self-harm <3

A black onyx in a sea of shimmering diamonds
A devil in disguise to the whitest angel of heaven
You stole all her tenderness, her trust and her love
So that you could be entertained for one day, for one month.

You fed her white lies as she wept by your feet;
promises you never intended to keep,
actions that never allowed her to sleep
She would watch your chest rising and falling
Rendering precious breath from your nostrils
And wonder if she could climb inside
Wonder if she could rip out the beating organ
The one that you called a heart
Because on nights that she lie awake next to you
She would listen to it through your skin
Asking herself how such cruelty could be alive

Her wings were like butterfly’s; you blew off the dust,
She couldn’t leave the ground,
Though you knew that she must
You left her for months without warning
She couldn’t read your mind
You threw her innocent questions back in anger
You know, you didn’t tell her
She didn’t have a clue,
She had to make up her own stories
Uuntil you appeared out of the blue.

Did you miss her truly, was your love for her complete?
Or were you scared of losing what you knew you couldn’t keep?
Because you didn’t take away her fears, you added to her sin
You filled her up with demons that scarred her precious skin.
And on the nights you were not there
She knew you did not care.
She filled herself with ethanol and drugs that made her sick.
And the worst part is that she forgave you, because she’s still so fucking rare.

You broke her trust one hundred times
And she didn’t bat an eye,
Because she believed there was still some good in you,
But I think that good had died.
Or perhaps it was never there,
Perhaps it was all in her.
But not anymore.

Now it’s on the floor,
On the door,
In other people’s rooms,
In the girl you thought was better than her.
The girl you should have left in the bar.
You may have begged for her forgiveness
Under the shining stars
Walked her home within the rain
And kissed both of her palms
But words will never heal the wounds
That etched into her soul
Or erase the memories
That still haunt her,
That make it hard for her to grow.

Your angel is no angel anymore
You may have set her free
But you also made her scared.

CrookedMantis Dec 2017

You make me so conflicted
Are you a friend or faux
I feel like I'm afflicted
With what I cannot know

I wish that you were here
Not stuck inside my head
Does that make me the bier
Supporting what is dead

Or rather, what never lived

Em MacKenzie Dec 2017

Pack up my personality,
make sure the tape really sticks.
This home has been my totality,
every board and all the bricks.
Throw away my secrets,
we'll need a bag just for those,
and I hope I won't have to repeat this,
but I don't want those stains on my clothes.
The woman makes the threads anyways, I suppose.

It'll be the last time that I close that door,
on those twenty-four years before,
it gave me warmth and so much more,
when I was stranded it was my shore,
home is where the heart is, so says the lore.

Put away my memories,
in a box that's labeled "fragile,"
'cause even though they'll lift with ease,
I'd prefer for them all not to pile.
Throw away the forgotten fights,
the ones that always left the scars.
Make sure to only bring the nights,
with the brightest moon and stars,
but they won't fit into such small cars.

It'll be the last time that I close that door,
on those twenty-four years before,
where I sat dazed on the floor,
feeling high enough to soar,
home is where the heart is, but I'm lacking that core.

Store away my personality,
the one that fits me like a glove,
all the things that compile of me,
and illustrate all the things I love.
Throw away the parts of me that are broken,
I don't think I'll ever long for them,
but wait, maybe I've just misspoken,
cause that's the root of my twisted stem,
even a damaged jewel is still a gem.

It'll be the last time that I close that door,
on those twenty-four years before,
and there won't be twenty-four more.
It'll be the last time that I close that door,
I have no idea what's now in store,
home is where the heart is, but my chest is bruised and sore.

So say goodbye to Tower,
a street where once I walked each path,
where I knew each tree and flower,
and love's bliss and heartbreak's wrath.
Also say farewell to family,
well essentially it's only the dwelling,
but I don't know what life has planned for me,
as with the future there is no telling.

It'll be the last time that I close that door,
on those twenty-four years before,
there won't be twenty-four more.
It'll be the last time that I close that door,
I'll open a window to even the score,
home is where the heart is, but the beats feel like a chore.

I wish it could be more like Billy Joel's "movin' out" but Billy wasn't as bitter and sad as I.
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