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Life is pain.
But I wouldn't say
I've always felt this way.
Pain is a cruel and hateful teacher,
Demanding I fight for each and every breath.
I'm grateful towards death,
That it will all end at some point.
It's a ******* shame
That life has no real reason or aim.
What a peculiar thing
Sharde' Fultz May 2020
Could u find it in your heart
To give me back all those vulnerable moments?
Because I feel so stupid now
I feel stupid for going against every fiber of my being and exposing myself
For daring to say those things that come from a place so deep in my heart that it terrifies me.
Knowing that when they rise to the surface
When they escape the warmth of my chest and meet the warmth of the sun they become real
They become present
And tangible
And I need you to give them back because I regret it now
Because I dared to trust and you did exactly what I expected
Because I spent my life building walls and was so well protected
But I leapt
I dared to love fully and relentlessly
And I was all in so I put it in ink.
I put it in air
I put it in touch
I cemented it in time and space.
And I regret it.
I don't regret the relentless love but I regret letting it see the surface
I regret letting you see all those lisa Frank feelings.
So colorful and magical and childlike
And I'm embarrassed.
Cause in the end you didnt deserve it
But now it's yours
And for the rest of your life you have the privilege of those memories that were birthed from a trust you betrayed
You'll get to look back and see how much I loved you
How hard I loved you
And I'll always see how it was too much
I'll always be mad that I went all in
Yet it wasn't enough for you to go all in for me
Staggering inequity
Now how will I dare to trust again?
How will I not temper the reckless abandon that makes it so exciting?
Love Is easy,
But taking that love. Those words. Those memories
and giving it matter
That's a gift. It's the purest art.
So please just give them back so I can protect it better next time.
I think
Next time I'll just keep love in my heart.
simone May 2020
we knew it couldn’t work
i followed her into the hole in my heart and
she built a home there right from the start
she led me to the city’s edge
and i followed right to the end
we kept a mutual knowing between growing distance
between the coffee dates and
stolen glances
and restless ways
we’d wring out our hands
and i knew it couldn’t work
i told them about you
and it felt good, it felt new, it felt different
but i let me get the best of you,
and you faded away with all I couldn’t give you
our love was as good as dead and
we didn’t last anywhere
just in new york, in my dreams
in the world in my head

in a couple of years time ill ask if you understand
and we’ll do it all again
knowing we’re done before it ends
lilo - the japanese house
Nylee May 2020
It's a routine
and there is a disruption
Everything is fine
On the surface
Dig deeper, an eruption.

Let's believe in it
but worry is constant companion,
Hope is whimsical
It flutters and breaks
And burns again with flame.

It was a dream,
A beginning and the end,
A living breathing trend.
But a life is beyond imagination,
Ups and downs and a show.

Now to this slowdown,
We don't know,
The time in abundance
Is going to drain
A fear turning to a new name.

The year has been
straight out of some ******* movie
It is building and building
and no one knows
what kind of end it will bring.
blazing soul Mar 2020
Life is like a pyramid stairs where everyone struggles to step up, some takes few steps up and drift down-up until finally and gradually they slide down ward,  while some makes it to the top of the pyramid and tarry for a while before stepping down through the other part of the pyramid or steps down  the same path they have paved.
But there are those never privileged to take a step...
Pyramidal melancholy.
Thomas W Case Feb 2020
She left me like
Brutus left Caesar
like a shark attack.
My back was bent and
bleeding, and I was well
versed in delirium.

She had the electricity
shut off the day after
she abandoned me, and I drank
myself into a new oblivion.
There were kittens in
the wall--shadows tall and hot,
and I was well versed
in delirium.

I stole Four Locos' from
the convenience store, but
not enough to keep
the goblins at bay.
They chased me through
my nightmare--molested
me at dawn.
The elixir exorcised the monsters.
But I often misplaced it,
in the dryer or fireplace.
Meat began to rot in
the freezer, and I was
well versed in delirium.

My moon flowered brain thought
the cat tree was
a person.
I paced the floor and
talked to it; asked questions,
sought solace.
Degradation of the
mind reached critical mass.
And I landed in the
psych ward again.
The bats brought seizures,
and cheesecake, and yogurt
berry parfaits that were
to die for.
I was well versed in
Another day in paradise
Grey Feb 2020
I know that what goes up
must come down.

I just didn't think that our love
would decline so rapidly..
Dec 2019
Kore Jan 2020
you took rubies dripping
from my lips
threw me out of my
infernal home
took from me the jewels
in ropes round my neck
those that dripped from my hair
and the flowers that up sprang
from my step
all for your glory
this is from a few months ago and I just found it again in one of my notebooks - it needs some work but I like how this looks on the first try
Blurry Vision Jan 2020
Hurt me,
Make me cry,
Scream in my face,
Make me wish i didnt know you,
Do all of the things that i think a relationship should be.

You don't do that though.
You love me,
Support me,
Cry with me when im sad,
You listen,
You take care of me,
You can hurt me. No matter how hard you try.
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