You said you were my knight in shining armor, I was blinded by the radiance! I thought you were here to rescue me, Little did I know, you were here to steal! Your sweet talk, your blue skies, they were all a lie, You think I will walk away, won’t put up a fight! You might be a wizard, but you will be beaten in your own game, Truth wins, Always!!
Let's face it its more ******* warfare culturally they are used to faking it as thimbles and chipolatas in ninety seconds do not reach first base much less seeing stars on cloud nine hence they woke and fake the reality they chose be it feel or fright in woke solidarity against frustrations they cloned their made-up foe what better than sturdy shining Mandingo loaded and ******* there for the having to your heart's content presented to you the untamed beast the wild moor tooled hot and ready raw animalistic unfettered passion rock hard we can name him Rocky that goer that delivers every time the one that is all your men aren't and can never be cause he's gifted sleek like dolphin in rhythmic glide tasty like fresh clean mushroom Arabian stallion if ever there's one with absolute pedigree and class take a break from the mediocre from the wham bangs no can dos from the floppy quick-draws saps imagine the dark horse with the most in smooth soft pink leathery velvet tis your secret your guilty pleasure tis the obsession you made into a war the fantasy that plays in your heads tis behind fervours that haunts you that you so well disguise in hatred telling metaphors slip out Freud hold him down, grind him hard wear him out, let's wreck him so the sado masochistic 'punishing him' give him a hard time, it all says a lot you twist innocent sentences into ****** innuendos and innocent actions are falsely given ****** meanings as morn noon and night you toil you troll and agitate for attention yes you twist turn bite and nibble in Freudian throes you talk love you glaze unrequited love relentlessly you close your eyes and dream sweet pain yeah! get real, its no psyche warfare its a flutters obsession, it's the classic ' "The lady doth protest too much, methinks." its how you float your boats and and get yer thrills you better face it you're all addicted It's an ******* War-fare and you all know so.....
You’ve continued to Gaslight me and minimize my concerns whether they’re about me or you, and it’s making me crazy; it’s making me doubt myself and question my every move when it comes to you. And sometimes what i do with my life. And I’m not sure anymore darling; i don’t think this is light anymore. This is dark— it’s gotten quite dark.
When did it become midnight? It’s pitch black out here, and i didn’t notice until the pink faded away and i turned to look at u instead of the dark blue.
You were my distraction, my medication, my muse.
And what’s worse is that i still haven’t quite gotten a handle on deciphering between whether or not to get upset over something that was not ill-intended... but i do. I always do. And it’s my fault because it’s my mind; it’s something the chemicals in my brain do. And i guess I just can’t do this anymore because you’re not healthy for me. My brain doesn’t seem to be producing those chemicals I need when I'm without you. Do you know what that’s called? Codependency.
So I’d look at your eyes instead of the night sky; the sky that was as black as the ink in my journal, where I write endlessly about the things you do that hurt me because I can’t, I (just) can’t tell you them. (Your schizophrenia and depression do regardless.) And anyway, you tell me otherwise. You make me feel crazy, remember? Like I have memory loss or an early onset of dementia...
All the while, I never realized we were in the dark. We’re still in the dark. So, what do I do?
What will I be left with if I do that thing you’re going to tell me to do?
wrote this after i couldn't take it anymore. am i crazy?