The power I once felt; Silence, dripping and spilt Drinking off the marble floor. Cats might have more purr, more presence; Lying in the cold, talking to myself May have once been a noble task Yet I’ve discovered myself alone, As much as I will ever show; In another double, which might still glow with decadence, I am mirrored through a portal: A bad omen, a mistaken step; Would he be disappointed in me? Or could I win his admiration In pursuing something he lacks.
What would things look like if I could press rewind? Take myself back to that moment and make sure it never happened? What would it be like, to not be naive? To know then, that you had nothing to do with me; Were just drunk on yourself? To push you away and be certain? Before feelings complicated the mix? What would it be like to have never loved you? To like myself better again, To be sure —once more— that I would never be so ******, What would it be like if I’d never met you?
if there came a day where you packed all your emotional baggage and left I’m not quite sure what I would do I would not sit and cry for I do not cry and I cannot sit still I would not listen to sad songs I would listen to loud metal rock in a hope to drown out the final words that past your lips to me and every other word you have said to me
I would not watch films or read books I would lie on my bed trying to ignore the tea stains and the blankets we curled up underneath I would stare at the ceiling trying so hard to block every part of you from my mind
I would never drink tea from the cup you gifted me I would never read Harry Potter again after all the long talks about our shared favourite series
unless I was sad about all the moments we would never share then I would sit and drink tea hoping it would drown me I would read Harry Potter watch the films and glance at fan art simultaneously i would listen to every sad song that ever reminded me of you i would sit unmoving for days tears of tea running down my face
i would not be able to not think of you over time this may change but i would always have a scar to remind me of the old wounds time never can’t heal and i will always hope that you would heal them one day