As you close the curtains
I close my eyes too
But i still feel
What ive always felt for you.

And when the sun awakens,
So will you.
Maybe youll apologize,
Sometimes you do.

Whats been accomplished here
Im not sure.
Im constantly on a swing
Back and forth from
Can i love myself
And love you.

Im not sure what my goal is here
Maybe i was placed as a lesson
For you.

Im tired of being the lesson
I want to be the prize.
I want to feel desired.
Empowered.

Your eyes locked in mine

I am the fixer
I dont want perfect
I will always water you
Even if its not worth it.
If i dont get anything back
At least i am with purpose.

But your soil has dried out
I pour myself over
Nurturing you
Every last drop
I squeeze out to water you.

Your roots are too damaged
My flow still everlasting,
I seem to think.

But each drip you take
Is thrown away.
I take the water
That I desperately need
And give it to you.

Clinging to each moan
Each time we electrute

Infinite energy.
My *** is empty
Yet i know I have more,
So i keep going.
Your eyes and mine
Align.
But then the stars say, its time.
You cant turn from truth
When its looking your right in the face.
Begging you, to not run away.

You need to take a look deep inside.
I am the prize.
But we've lost track of time
Fun times turned to addictions
Actions turned vindictive
I know that white powder is so pretty
But its not a human being.

I miss being
The one you want to touch
Even if its lust.

Yearning for the day,
That i look in the mirror and can accept my face.
In my eyes,
All i see is damage.
Most days i see in grey.

I want to explore.
******* tired of being ignored.
So please step up,
Do you have what it takes?

If not, sit down
And let the next man take your place.
I have too much love to give
Jokes to have
Laughter to live
To sit here
And accept this fate.

Na
Im taking control of my day.
Ill be the one to put a smile on my face.

K.c

There’s a bottle of my mother’s love
Sitting on the kitchen table
It’s gone sour
It’s Sunday morning,
In the piercing comfort of a place
I once would’ve called home,
And the world woke up and walked out on me

The aftermath of July grows right outside my bedroom window
While I sit on a desolate strip of imaginary sand,
With my head in a water cooler
As significant as an ill-fated horsefly

Perhaps all your exes do better after you for a reason
Perhaps my words are aimed to hurt
You
And now that I know they could
I wouldn’t  mind if they do
Cause perhaps I am still sour
From the taste of your love
And its deep, light consuming
hole in my soul

Someone once told me :
always remember that,
some people come into your life to make chaos.
and some people and come into your life to show love.

Some people will use you
Some people will always be there for you
Some people will be true
Some people will lie
Sometimes you will learn from a mistake
Sometimes you fall and that’s okay.

Sometimes you’ll  fall in love to hard
Sometimes you’ll cry alone
But you’ll be okay even if you’re alone

I am simply a lemon
I like to think I’m sweet
But I am just a sour soul that you can never eat


I am simply a lemon
with bright happy yellow skin
But, on the inside I am just a sin


Add a bit of sugar and I’ll be bitter sweet
But once the sugar fades away your destin for defeat

I am not a sweet little boy
I’m sour as can be
Why am I a lemon and not a strawberry

i want the butterflies
glowing in my lungs
whispering nervous truths

i crave the breath
catching in my throat
warm bodies brought together

i'd **** for dancing
physical, verbal, tantric
never knowing who is leading
---
i miss first dates
the hopeful feeling fraught with nerves
fidgeting as you giggle at jokes that aren't funny

and all the learning,
favorite colors that grow to anecdotes
and then to second dates

all the time it's blossoming;
blooming into something real,
butterflies depart, letting only light remain

and i can stop the pining easily
love songs are vibrant; poetry melts hearts
but don't romanticize me
---
i've been the final girl at a haunted house
cleaning up bodies; exercising ghosts
i don't need your love to be full

i don't have another half, i'm already whole
and you can be my twin flame, if you won't fizzle out
i've had many matches that only left smoke
---
and if our love is a circus, and you are the clown
don't be surprised if i wait in the crowd
i'm done pulling teeth; and i'm tired of games
friend, lover, soulmate- i'm tired of names

i'm tired of labels that differ but all feel the same.
when i'm set alight, i'll be feeling no shame
and if you want all of me, i'll have no regrets
but don't string me along, i'm no marionette