I remember every detail of that day as if it were yesterday; the two of us, alone together at midnight on that Saturday 21st. My heart was beating fastly, my legs wouldn't stop shaking; a part of me wanted to leave while the other was dying to stay. And then we stopped behind your car and after a simple goodbye you grabbed my arm. My shyness went away and I felt an urge in my heart to kiss you intensely until we ran out of breath there in the dark.
For once I was going with my feelings as I pressed you closer to my body, and I felt the need to let go of everything I had suppressed when I saw you leaning against my chest. I was so full of intense desires while circulating your waist with my fingers that I succumbed to my own weakness by allowing my heart to guide me with no resistance. And then I kissed your lips for one last time, and I felt emotions overflowing deep inside. And for a while I got lost looking in your eyes, as the passers-by saw how we melted under that street light.
On my way back home I kept on thinking about you and if that would’ve been the right moment to say: "I love you", just when I had you in my arms, lost in your eyes and gave you that one last kiss goodbye.
When the desire invades me unforgettable memories come to mind again of a moment that belonged to the two of us, in front of your house, on that 21st of June.
Do you feel it when Your mind is drifting to Someone other than The one you’re talking to? I ignore it as often As I think I can possibly do But do you realize the space Captured in my head by you? I know not what to call this It’s breathable and new. I do not want to spoil this Fearing what it’ll turn into. The paranoia of losing it Is what I’ve already grown into. Conservative, feeble, shy? Call me whatever you want to.
What do I want? There’s so much to want how do I choose? No deep down what does your heart long for? Well there is one thing I do want I want to lift my arms up and feel the wind on my face I want to dance barefoot on the cold grass And sing like it’s my last day on this Earth I want to have all the weight suddenly lifted off my exhausted shoulders I want to go to sleep and not have ever worry come to mind, clogging my head shut I want to close my eyes for just once second and feel at peace I want to wrap a silk blanket around my body and take away all the aching it has I want a veil of pure joy to cover my whole body I want to look in the mirror and be able to see someone worth living I want to be a child again
i am not talented nor am i skilled yet i have this dream i wish to fulfill. i wish to be my own, not wanting to be like someone else even if they’re what i’ve always wanted to be– my heart says to just be me. with high hopes, i will be my own so the tears i’ve shed and the feelings i’ve expressed weren’t useless.