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muteD 4h
Why does it feel as though happiness
is unattainable for me?
Unreachable no matter how far I stretch.
Untouchable no matter how much I yearn for it.
And whenever I do seem to grasp it,
it always vanishes into thin air.
Leaving me wishing for a different time.

I remember being a toddler,
standing in a candy store..
Staring in awe at the sweets around me
and wishing I was big enough
to grab one of the huge lollipops
on the top shelf.
With no adult in sight of my little eyes
I had only one thought running through my mind
“I can’t wait until I’m older..”

and now,
here I am.
Older and what I feel and see now are
my thoughts and dreams,
my wants and pains,
my desires..

I see them swirling and mixing;
one becoming the other until I can tell nothing apart.

What hurts me just might be my destiny.

I wish for a reality where all things are crystal
and all paths are clear.
To know where my soul truly belongs
and to not wander.

A wandering heart knows of only temporary love
and a temporary love
can only end in
abandonment.

You wonder,
“Are you running from me?”
And my answer is,
“Yes, but only if you’re this reality”
peeling
petal after petal
of pink peonies
she coyly ponders.....

he loves me
he loves me not

as this
melancholic yellow rose
domiciled in the forbidden city
seeks bodacious love
amidst
poems and peonies

© 2021
Dedicated to the beautiful flowers and women that we see  everywhere
Charles Chiam May 14
I want more, and I will lie no more.
Call me greedy; I don't care anymore.

I want more money. Who doesn't?
They are never enough. Never enough.
I am but a **** poor untalented peasant,
I just want to numb myself with more stuff.

With more money, I can buy more books.
The more pages I flipped, I lose myself more.
More money also means more toys that hooks
My inner child - he now knows freedom more.

I want more food. OM NOM NOM FOOD!
I hunger for simple gastronomical richness:
Multiple mint teabags to better calm my mood,
Serve with upsized servings of buttery tastiness.

Yet, even the simplest desires, Need. MONEY!
What's that you say? Learn to have less desires?
Let me write it down on my list; oh that's funny;
This long list, of desires, do you think it expires?

Nay, I say, for all my wants, shall grow evermore!
MORE! MORE! MORE!
elle Mar 24
after days of staying in the comfort of my sheets,
i got in my car.

the feeling at first was overwhelming
the desire to wander,
to travel,

to press my foot to the gas and never let it go.

would it really be so bad if i refused to stop?
if i kept driving until my gas ran empty...

i wonder where i'd end up.

and i'd wonder if my wandering filled the empty want to see places i've never been.
if it didn't go away, where would i go?

how far could i go?
just thoughts
Ahmad Attr Mar 21
Birds, bugs, buds and beasts
And all the children sitting in the trees
If only their songs could teach you how feel
So you could begin to call for me
If I hear that you yearn for me
I will run back to you
I will return back to you
If I hear to that you want me to be
With you, above the heavens
I will run through all these doors
I will run on thorns and fiery coals
I will run on silvery shoals
I will run faster than wind, and soar
If I hear that you yearn for me, once more
I will run back to you
I will return back to you
If I hear that you want me to be
With you, when you are lonely
I will run through time
I will run through my dyed robes that bind
Me in this grey world, and I will find
Wherever you sit and pine for me
I will come back to you
I will run back to you
I will return back
to
you
Pain of Separation is too much to bear


This was also partially inspired by my favorite movie of all time: The Tale of Princess Kaguya by Studio Ghibli
Lee Aaun Mar 7
they will say so many things
but not the ones,
your heart desires to listen
Denicel Mar 1
It's not a bad thing to make mistakes
But overdoing it can make aches.

Sin came from our desires
It is a force that tempts us to lit our fire.
Sin causes lives into distraction
And make people cry in unsatisfaction.

Naive people,sinning to earn self happiness.
Selfishness is the start of fights.
War, and more sin which is made by human kind.
Eric Feb 3
I°°° want°°° my°°° ******°°° to°°° be°°° a°°° mystery°°°
I°°° want°°° a°°° Grove°°° with°°° trees°°°,
Standing°°° tall°°° as°°° can°°° be°°° .
There°°° in°°° the°°° distance°°° in°°° between°°°,
All°°° those°°° trees°°° shadows°°° ,
What°°° lies°°° beneath°°° .
My°°° body°°° layed°°° to°°° rest°°° apon°°° some°°° leaves.°°°
Scene°°° of°°° a°°° suicidal°°° heart°°° surgery°°° .
Knife°°° at°°° hand,°°° looking°°° at°°° the°°° deep°°° cut°°° seems°°°
Pool°°° of°°° blood°°° nobody°°° would°°° want°°° to°°° see °°°.
Stood°°° behind°°° my°°° soulless°°° body°°° .
Lift°°° my°°° own°°° hands ,°°°
Knife°°° cutting°°° softly.°°°
Pulling°°° back°°° the°°° ribs°°° and°°° skin °°°.
Not°°° to°°° find°°° a°°° heart ,°°° just°°° emptiness°°° within°°°.
Looking°°° at°°° the°°° way°°° I°°° laid°°° , how°°° was°°° I°°° to°°° late ?°°°
This°°° took°°° time°°° and°°° pain°°° .
I'm°°° sorry°°° ...
Really°°° no°°° signs°°° of°°° struggle°°° around°°° the°°° scene°°°.
Was°°° it°°° a°°° ******? ,°°° I°°° would°°° say°°° likely°°°.
Why°°° would°°° you°°° say°°° that?,°°° is°°° that°°° what°°° you°°° see°°°.
Yes°°° because°°° it's°°° impossible°°° to°°° do°°° a°°° open°°° heart°°° surgery°°°.
On°°° one's°°° self , °°°°you'd°°° have°°° to°°° be°°° mentally°°° crazy°°° .
I°°° get°°° what°°° your°°° saying,°°° it's°°° just°°° hard°°° to°°° believe°°° .
Walking°°° away°°° from°°° myself ,°°° kinda°°° feeling°°° relieved°°°.
Did°°° I°°° do°°° it ?°°° Did°°° I°°° clean°°° enough°°° of°°° the°°° scene°°°.
And°°° where°°° did°°° I°°° put°°° that°°° heart? ,°°° it°°° must°°° not°°° be°°° seen°°°.
Thoughts°°° dancing°°° in°°° my°°° mind ,°°° creating°°° art ,°°°
Within°°° my°°° soulless°°° body ,°°° this°°° gots°°° to°°° be°°° a°°° dream°°°.
But°°° One°°° thought°°° stuck°°° to°°° me ,°°°
I°°° wanted°°° my°°° ******°°° to°°° be°° a°°° mystery .°°°
I°°° wanted°°° groves ,°°° with°°° lots°°° of°°° trees°°° .
Just°°° standing°°° tall°°° and°°° alone°°° like°°° me°°°.
And°°° there°°° in°°° the°°° distance°°°  an°°° in°°° between°°°.
Now°°° forever°°° my°°° shadow°°° lies°°° beneath°°° me°°°.
My°°° body°°° laid°°° to°°° rest°°° apon°°° soft°°° leaves°°° .
A°°° scene°°° of°°° a°°° suicidal°°° heart°°° surgery°°°.
Don't judge over thoughts and dreams
TIZZOP Jan 30
in the middle of nirvana, ashima wakes up
she doesn't know how she reached this sphere
full of silver lights and black silhouettes
everyone she knows seems to be present

greyly shimmering leaflets are floating
through the air, gently, like mist
and red fireflies are clapping their wings
the crowd of shadows is starting to sing:

"ashima, you have come a long way to us
we are the voices of nirvana, listen
nirvana is the deep core of your soul
the land of your most secret wishes

sometimes, in your dreams, you reach out
when you are waiting for a train and the
rays of the sun are reflecting your thoughts
you never find us but we know where you are

you may call us your wishes, we belong to you
as ****, as branko and your mom do
are you the imitation of your dreams, ashima?
or do your dreams imitate you, our girl?

certainly, you will become the thing you dread
we know that you took revenge recently
when you were slashing the *******'s throat
as his blood was slowly flowing into the sheets"

in the middle of her apartment, ashima wakes up
she becomes aware of a crinkled and dark leaflet
it is more than twenty years old, informing about
something that ashima can not read anymore

the letters on the leaflet have become dust
ashima is taking a deep breath and sighs
her pitbull branko is strolling towards her
his wet tongue, ashima thinks, feels cute
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