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Apr 2019 · 330
My Lovely Girl
Thomas EG Apr 2019
I will love you tomorrow
I will love every bone in your body
And every hair on your head

You can paint them black today
But even when every single one has greyed
I will keep your secrets

And when you do give up,
I will not
I will love every part of you

Every mood that is brought
With successess and struggles
Every blemish that will flourish on your baby-soft skin

Forgive my hands for touching your face
I know that it's sensitive,
But also far too lovely

Still, they both shake every time
With fear of damaging your near-perfect fragility

And we all have our vices,
But your smile is my sunshine
It warms me in ways that I dare not try describe

It is so gentle, so kind
A look really can speak a thousand words

And your grin tells me that everything will be okay
So I think that we'll be okay

And I will love you tomorrow
Tomorrow and beyond x
Feb 2019 · 2.1k
Dropping To Stand
Thomas EG Feb 2019
I'd always been a little bearcub
Feeling my paws crunch the twigs and mulsh of the forest floor
Seasons are changing, though
I'm finally standing up on my hind legs
Raising my hands high, speaking up for the first time
Hoping that maybe you can hear me now
Letting my growls grow, my echo,
rumbling through the trees
Feeling the breeze in my hair
Knowing that I have made it
and I am home
~Finally started my medical transition and my voice is starting to drop~
Sep 2018 · 626
A Lover's Fight
Thomas EG Sep 2018
I can't feel your painful memories,
But they do linger and try to follow
I hope you know, if you'd permit it,
I would bubble-wrap your shadow

Your knight in not-so-shining armour,
By your side, yet watching your back
I would slay any beast in your path,
Not to imply you have a weak attack

But I would fight for you forever,
Even though I call myself a lover
However, our love makes me strong,
So I will raise my fists for no other

But never ever to you, my darling,
I'd only ever dare wish you the best,
Apologise if I hold you too tightly
And, with every day, show you the rest
My bubble-wrapped lover
Aug 2018 · 384
Cry In Wait
Thomas EG Aug 2018
How could one yearn so badly
Yet not strive for said desire ?

My purchases are less of a luxury
But more of a dependency

And my heart is set on a necessity
So, as much as I will cry in wait,

I will need assistance in motivation
Please help me save (for) myself
We all need help sometimes
Aug 2018 · 611
Fleeting thoughts on 'love'
Thomas EG Aug 2018
I guess that 'love' isn't always flawless and simple but, nonetheless, it is pure

The 'love' was there and ultimately she's made me happier than before
Butterfly Effect ha ha
(Started this in 2017, finished it in 2018)
Aug 2018 · 2.5k
Grounded In The Sky
Thomas EG Aug 2018
For him, it's either watch him fly sky-high or put him in the ground
01/05/18
Aug 2018 · 2.9k
Just An Idiot
Thomas EG Aug 2018
I always feel two steps behind
No matter what the topic at hand
Even things I'm sure that I'm sure of
You can break down that certainty
Within seconds

Make me doubt the person
That I know myself to be
I dare you
Convince me that I am someone else
Because I'm stubborn until I'm afraid

Afraid to be laughed at
Afraid to be judged
Afraid to be made into a fool

So I take the initiative and laugh it off
Because declaring "I'm just an idiot",
"I don't know anything about anything"
Or simply keeping my mouth shut
Is far easier than hearing it elsewhere
Self-deprecating as **** but truee
Aug 2018 · 535
Flawed // Loved
Thomas EG Aug 2018
It is easy to see that I'm flawed
Yes, it is splayed out for all to see
I am hopelessly co-dependant
Utterly disorganised and depressed

Stupidly ridden with anxieties
(Thus awful at living in the moment)
Easily distracted but not detached
And yet, deeply submerged in love

As you're my favourite thing
About myself

And it is easy to see that I'm loved
Or at least it should be, although,
You do remind me the right amount
For me to feel... not so lonely

Not so unloved
Not so unloveable
I love you
Aug 2018 · 214
Self-destruct
Thomas EG Aug 2018
So I'll burn the empty coke cans
And hope that they explode
I'll walk a day in your shoes
Hitting self-destruct over and o-

-ver, until it kills me
Idk
Aug 2018 · 243
Forever?
Thomas EG Aug 2018
Believing in love...
Believing that it will last forever
Is what broke me before

Believing that I was loved
And that that wouldn't change
Made it all so much harder

When it blew up in my face

Believing the words "I love you,"
And "I won't stop loving you,"
Led to my dislocated heart

So how could you blame me
For inevitable insecurities
Surrounding those words now?

Because I love you...

I cannot get enough of you
But every time I ask for a kiss
Or declare that I love you first

Internally, I am petrified
That you could reject me
As damage is more than done

On my self-esteem, on my heart

And I love you so so much
I just wish that didn't scare me
As I'm sick of feeling vulnerable

For the sake of being happy
And you make me so so happy
But that scares me every day

Because I will love you forever
Way to not live in the moment lol
Aug 2018 · 640
Just One Taste
Thomas EG Aug 2018
One bite is never enough for you
You take the time to taste it all
And won't stop until you're full
But when your jaw weakens
The frustration sinks in fast
So when you kiss me,
Tell me,
Do my flavours dance on your tongue?
Because the finality of that moment,
When you complete a task and start to breathe again...
I just don't know if I can provide you with such relief
And you tell me that I can
But how could I possibly deserve a cherry like you on top of the mountain that is my heart?
But that's the thing
There's no one like you
Because you are the sweetest grump
Whenever frustrated, my sugarplum
And the remainder of you is glee
That can sink its teeth right into me
So bite off as much as you can,
Leave me to sit on your taste buds,
And take your sweet time
To savour me
We've got our obsessions
Jul 2018 · 510
My Forever Flower
Thomas EG Jul 2018
You are so small, so petite
I could almost pluck you from this field of flowers and place you in my shirt pocket, just to see if you could possibly get any closer to my heart
I already feel you crawling from chamber to chamber
But ****, if I could feel your physical touch inside my chest, would it really feel so different ?
You are so warm, so gentle, so sweet
Always fresh as a daisy
And your hands,
Always busy as bees
And your lips,
As if carved from rose petals,
Remain forever on mine
Because I cannot stay away
Opiates are nothing compared to you
But, alas, I am addicted
My lil sunflower
Jun 2018 · 1.1k
Loving me, loving you
Thomas EG Jun 2018
It feels different with her
Different with how she sees me
Because she... sees me,
She loves every part of me
That I want to love about myself
That I can acknowledge
As admirable traits to have
And she... admires me
And I admire her admiration
And I desire her love
She is so good
And I love every part of her
And she can't love herself
But maybe if she loves us
She can get there faster
And we try to move slowly
But my love for her,
It loves running races
And my heart races
When she moves with me
And we move with each other
And I love how we have moved since
And I loved how we moved before
But everything has led to this
Everything has led to us
And I love us
And I love every part of her
And she makes me
Feel like I am worth loving
Clearing out my drafts
~June 16th
Jun 2018 · 498
The Key
Thomas EG Jun 2018
You possess full ownership
To the key to my heart's door
And it means an awful lot
To not only have a spot

High upon your shelf, but
To feel you open the padlock,
Tiptoe in, your smile against mine,
And tuck, and lock, yourself inside
Clearing out my drafts
~June 11th
Jun 2018 · 267
The arch of your back
Thomas EG Jun 2018
I love the arch of your back
It is a golden archway of light
The bridgeway to Heaven,
If Heaven could even compare

On the lookout for a leeway
I'd cross that bridge in a blink
As love surpasses blasphemy
And my feelings for you surpass love
Clearing out my drafts
~June 5th
Jun 2018 · 287
Contemporary Mood Swings
Thomas EG Jun 2018
The permanence of the effect of our existence and actions terrifies me. This contemporary mood swings both ways, however. My love for love outweighs and overthrows my need for food, for sleep, for air to breathe... And you, I am in awe of... My eyes do not see anything else. My heart does not desire anything else. Forever blinded by pretty girls, my naïve eyes and thoughts are focused on you. My naïve heart beats just for you. I am way too full-on, far too all-at-once, but you admire that about me and I deeply, deeply admire you.
Clearing out my drafts
~June 2nd
Jun 2018 · 353
All or Nothing
Thomas EG Jun 2018
I cannot feel for you in moderation
All of me desires you
And I can feel the guilt already
Just thinking about everything
That I would discard for you
Or put on hold for you
Because you are worth it all
There's so much beauty in the world
Yet you have all of it
In my eyes, God your eyes
Your waist, your hands...
And it's hard feeling such extremes
Because when life's bad, it's bad
But with you
It's just so good
Clearing out my drafts
~May 31st
May 2018 · 1.2k
Yellow Girl
Thomas EG May 2018
I've got your scent stuck in my head
And my lips crave yours
White chocolate burns, but you,
You melt me
Red, yellow, red, yellow
May 2018 · 275
On The Road Again
Thomas EG May 2018
I was a reckless driver
And caused countless crashes
In my earlier naïve days

And then when I was hers
She became the first one
To crash into me

So I tried to drive him
But he was just too fast
And I crashed him

Alas, I'm re-learning to drive
With a nice new old car
And she is smooth running

And makes my car race
So I'll grip the steering wheel
Tighter tomorrow
I love that new car smell
Apr 2018 · 306
Poem For My Favourite Song
Thomas EG Apr 2018
She said that she didn't understand how I wasn't sick of her yet, after spending so much time together.

I tried to imagine getting sick of her, but how could I? How could you ever possibly get sick of music?

I take her everywhere with me. She plays softly in the background, almost constantly. I love all of her and appreciate her filling the silence for me.

Sure, there were a few times where I wished that I could have just skipped on to the next song, but I always let her play through from start to finish.

From the second first kiss to the dramatically painful record scratch... From her debut to my heartbreak.

I could never get sick of her. She is, and always will be, my favourite song.
Her love was catchy.
Mar 2018 · 381
Tiptoe
Thomas EG Mar 2018
This morning, when I got out of the shower, I tiptoed across the room.

I took caution not to drip water all over the floor, so that you wouldn't get wet feet when you used the bathroom next.

This morning, I remembered that I never have to tiptoe again.

Tonight, I can feel my heart breaking.
A poem about my first day on my own. I think I'm all cried out for now.
Mar 2018 · 376
Only Me
Thomas EG Mar 2018
There's poetry in simple things
And pain in far more
There's beauty in a million things
But one in particular

The yearn for security
The lack of it, and warmth
Tonight I lay here, only me
Tossing, turning, feeling torn
How am I expected to sleep in our bed without her?
Feb 2018 · 327
Hopeful for the sunshine
Thomas EG Feb 2018
I sit back, listening to the morning songs and reminisce about how creative I once was
Not taking into consideration the way in which I live my life, day by day
Pushing the boundaries, breaking the binaries and bruising
Hoping that some day, alongside the sunshine, it will all end up okay
Hurry up summer
Feb 2018 · 424
Solidarity
Thomas EG Feb 2018
I yearn for solidarity,
To know once and for all

To reach into the sky, claim whatever is there, bring it down and ask...
"How do you like it?"

Being down, that is

Feeling lost and confused in an unfamiliar world,
A world that is yours

I cannot find the answers I seek
I cannot find the words to speak

I simply wait (and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait)
Until I no longer can

And then I wait some more

This appears to finally approach an end,
So why won't my doubt?

Alas, the more I question, the less I know
The more it comes, the more it goes

And so, I wait some more
Haven't written anything in a while so here's... something
Nov 2017 · 405
Magnets
Thomas EG Nov 2017
I feel like nothing but a broken toy that's been left in the attic to become forgotten, covered in webs of disinterest and potential nostalgia.

Although, in this scenario, I appear to be magnetic and you appear to be the strongest, rarest form of metal known to mankind, to my kind.

I am drawn to you constantly, mindlessly, and I cannot control it. I don't always notice anymore.

It shoots straight over my head as I soar across the high skies to reach you... Following my heart, my ultimate compass.

North Pole... South Pole... How long until I'm yours again? I can't stay still, I can't stay far.

I love you. No matter how broken I may feel, I still feel immense love as my heart's parts restart, for you. You have given me life yet again.

I exist to tend to your heart's needs and join you on your life's adventures. I'm eternally yours and you are just as much mine.

So, wind me up and burn me out, I beg of you... By the end of the day, we'll both be smiling and we will remain. I could never stay away in the first place.
She's good.
Oct 2017 · 563
Reflection
Thomas EG Oct 2017
My first alarm goes off
I savour the last of my broken sleep
My eighth alarm rings and I moan

I drag my heavy body up
And into the bathroom
But I make a mistake

I glance at the mirror
As I finish ******* and...
Is that me ?

I don't know the answer
My eyes linger and I turn away
Into the shower I go

Rushing, rushing, rush...
I run to catch my bus
I do not catch my breath

My chest burns as I try
But, to no avail, I slump in my seat
And give it time

I close my eyes and fill my ears
I focus on the music
And let another day begin

Opening my eyes now
I catch sight of my reflection...
When, oh when, will I recognize it?
Dysphoria, my dudes.
Aug 2017 · 478
Love?
Thomas EG Aug 2017
Does one simply adjust to happiness or does it fade away in time? Can one ever be truly satisfied? What is contentment if not love? What is love if not fickle? Will this love fade in time? I hope not, for I'm finally happy.
Jun 2017 · 274
No Winner
Thomas EG Jun 2017
I am... undeniably attracted to you
Not necessarily every part, but I do
Lust for us and your brown eyes
Alas, this must come as no surprise

Just beware that when we quit
There is no winner, we both lose
Welcoming lips and fingertips
That we somehow did not choose

I don't know where to go from here
Has this gone on too long?
These feelings won't just disappear
Our chemistry is too strong

The girl who fell head over heels
And split her chin, that night
Can't help but leave me feeling torn
As this is wrong, but feels so right
Exes are dangerous xxxx
Apr 2017 · 734
Discomfort via Debilitation
Thomas EG Apr 2017
I slowly debilitate into nothingness
For never before have I known this

Losing my appetite and my mind
Leaving my comfort far behind

Blinded by beauty, oh your smile
Could make this life seem worthwhile

There is nothing that I wouldn't do
For a chance to relax, just us two

Laying outside, beneath the moon
That shines but half as brightly as you
Mar 2017 · 1.2k
Irresponsible Love
Thomas EG Mar 2017
He looks at me with such love
I see my reflection and hate it
Too insecure to understand
But, regardless, I appreciate it

He kisses me passionately
And, believe me, I kiss him back
But he makes no sense to me
And I can never keep on track

I am told that in order to love
Anybody, yes, anyone at all
I must first learn to love
Myself and embrace my flaws

I cannot do that, so please tell me
Is L.O.V.E. really impossible?
I have experienced so many things
My heart is simply irresponsible
Thomas EG Nov 2016
Hold yourself back, girl,
Rest those wretched fists
The laughter is surrounding us
Don't try to make it quick

Your customs may not differ
From those who face the west
But slow your heart rate, girl,
For the hunter can hear best

Whisper behind the willows
And set your secrets free
They don't dominate you, girl,
Yet predate on you and me

Now, if the majority strikes
You should never dare wither
You're safe when I'm around
So... What if, girl?
Oct 2016 · 1.9k
Xe/He/She
Thomas EG Oct 2016
When they tell you that they are a they,
or a xe, he, she, "whatever"... you must not invalidate this statement. You must accept it, even before understanding. You just might be the first.
Oct 2016 · 683
Falling
Thomas EG Oct 2016
Falling in love is not falling at all
It's scary at times, sure,
But you still feel safe

It's not like it is in the movies
It's not overwhelming, no,
It just feels right...

It feels natural and it fits
And your hand fits perfectly in his
And then you have fallen in love

If you were to fall, well,
Surely he would catch you
And that, my friends, is love
:-)
Sep 2016 · 670
Click
Thomas EG Sep 2016
His smile captivates me...
It's been so long
Since I've felt pure joy
But when I hear him laugh,
When he pulls me closer,
Something inside of me
Clicks into place

I know that I love him
It's obvious to anyone
With functional eyeballs...
He creeps into my mind,
Crawls over my heart,
Again and again
And teases me to surrender

His hands, his mouth,
His gentle tools of expression...
We make love,
And it really is love,
And I am content

Life still gets rough
And I still break down
But he is there for me
Waiting, always,
On the other side
Like he has been
This whole time

He is important
We are important
And, although he blinds me,
I can see clearer than before
And I see the truth

He makes me blush,
Turns my cheeks pink,
He knows just what to say
When I get stuck
And I will love him
Until fate decides
Otherwise...
Aug 2016 · 1.4k
Poets Under The Influence
Thomas EG Aug 2016
They follow you inside
Searching for a favour
You offer, mindlessly
They accept, gratefully

You hand it over and
They posess great thanks
To the extent of expressing
Their words in a poem

They produce a journal
Which prods you to smile
You took them for an artist
But never for a poet

Your face lights up
As they tell you more
Life touches you like that
Until next drunken time
Jun 2016 · 757
My Skin
Thomas EG Jun 2016
I live in your love in the same way that I live in my skin, my love.
Repetition is effective
Jun 2016 · 654
Man™
Thomas EG Jun 2016
And then
The young boy
Pushed through
And he fell
And he tumbled
But, somehow,
Managed to land
Higher than
He was before

He was sat upon
His own shoulders
Seemingly broader, now
And he grinned
Victoriously
About the man
That he would become
In the years
To come
Jun 2016 · 1.5k
Orlando
Thomas EG Jun 2016
Fifty innocent deaths
Are fifty deaths too many
They prove that the world still

Is full of hatred
I have a right to hate it
Proof: This blood spill

And now there is a lack of blood
Yet we are not allowed donate ?
O positive and O negative, oh

Mainly, I am positive that
This needs to change
**I am so sorry, Orlando
At times like this, we must unite and show the world that #lovewins
Apr 2016 · 642
New Lips
Thomas EG Apr 2016
One minute we were sitting down
The next our bodies were entwined
I rested my head on your chest
And I listened to your heartbeat

It was so fast...
And, in that moment,
I wanted to kiss you
I probably should have

But I thought that you didn't
Until you kissed my cheek
And my head spun and I blushed
And I didn't know what it meant

You said that you like what I don't
About myself, about my body
Complimenting my love handles
As you handled them yourself

You stroked my hair, gently
Exploring my broken body's pathway
But I overthought the situation
Concluding that it was platonic

Alas, looking back on it now
I was somewhat mistaken
I misread your not-so-subtlety
Even when you kissed my raw neck

I jumped away and told you off
I had to explain it all to you
I'd forgotten that you don't know me
As well as the others

But you are learning with every
Hold of my hand, stroke of my hair
You don't know what I did last week
And yet, I like it that way

You don't have to know it all
You'll know me in time, if you please
You tell me that I have soft lips
"So I've been told," I laugh it off

I don't often kiss bearded folk
But your moustache is not harsh
We joke about it further
And I kiss you again, goodbye

And I will not apologise
22/04/16
Apr 2016 · 547
Built Up
Thomas EG Apr 2016
There's such anxiety
Built up inside of me
Why don't you understand?
I'm drifting far from land
And
I'm floating far away
Until another day
I can't be here tonight
I can't keep up this fight
Or flight
Mode
Chest pains
This is awful
Apr 2016 · 1.7k
White Walls
Thomas EG Apr 2016
White walls blind us
Before we get the chance
To vandalise them

The sun's reflection
Is stronger than us both
And thus, we surrender
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