Here, I lay out my sins And await the doctors dissection. If that makes me weak, Then I'll proudly wear the title Next to the arteries on my sleeve. I'd rather be on the chopping block happily, Than be the bitter butcher, Or in your case, The unforgiven cleaver. So go ahead, Cut and carve away at my soul And tell me about how I'll feel better when you're done. There's only so much flesh you can remove Before you realize You can't spell meat Without "me".
today, i return to Massachusetts. i will step out of Logan Airport and breathe the air i haven't breathed in four months. it will taste crisp and cold. i will do my special little breath before the big one when i step outside. maybe the wind will hurt. maybe it will feel good. maybe the hurt will feel good. today, i will be driven home by someone who drinks Dunkin and softens their R's, just a little bit. just enough for you to notice if you listen. i will look out the window for the one house with the one chimney and i will say "you can turn here." i will pet my cats and i will lie down in my bed and when i roll over, i won't hit the wall. when i look across the room, i won't see the dark lump of my roommate in her bed. i will not hear her phone buzz quietly during the night. i will not hear people in the distance, shouting and singing and laughing. and when i wake up tomorrow and sit up, ready to say good morning to my parents and my brother, ready to play guitar and kiss my friends and cook and drive and smile and cry, it will all be the same as before but completely different. because i am completely different. "you are of this place. it is changing you." i am of Pitzer now. i am of California and sun and In N' Out and cacti and mountains and linguistics papers and psych memes and long walks and Laemmle's and McConnell and dry air and sleeping late and ramen and boba and love and friendship now. i am forever changed. i am happy. to be young and free and growing up is the wilderness. we are the wilderness. "you don't have what it takes to survive the wilderness." i have explored the wilderness. today, the explorer and her wild heart are going home.
i have always had this worry that i could be missing the great things that i could be doing with my soulmate. how if i don't find this person, time will be taken away from us. but then i realise that once you find that person
only the two of you can glide through time or relax through time, enjoy through time because it doesn't matter how long you have been with that person. it's the quality of the moments that you will remember and cherish the most with one another.
Wondering and worrying when my soulmate will ever come.
The bitter drink is that of loneliness Its company, Pure desire. How it destroys a soul, Magnificent malnutrition; magnanimous toward Malignance. A yearn. Unanswered, festering wounds. Crashing thrashing, harassing, Then caressing. Loneliness still sings.
Eyes cast Beautiful mind Your energy and mine Hearts beating fast Lips locking Body on mine Your skin devouring Deep in your flesh Minds exploding Dissolving in pleasure An instrument to play Delicious noises Murmuring in my ear Words with moarning Art performing
whisk me away on a ship that's not there. To an island full of gators! that have been covered in hair. exploring misty mountains! and climbing epic trees! diving to the bottom, of the air in the breeze. imagine a life like that, think of life full of tales! fighting great monsters, that has a full nine tails! take me away to a life just with you, to a world of bickering, but never between two. now the Lord calls us in, to sleep in her kites. dreams of flying high, and falling in love with the night. as you dream away beneath me, I wonder sad and clear. what comes of tomorrow, if the air is mighty *****? do we stay inside our castle and find an evil spy? or go outside in the gales? and let our imagination, take flight.
taking flight is hard to do with out someone to fly the kite.
As the ivy meets the water on the ancient crumbled wall, So the water laps and kisses through the beauty of it all. On the Rhine by the bridges where the flags drape from the lips. And we float down the river with the water to our hips.
Couples watch as we pass, deep in awe and lost in love, As the ducks pass in the water and the swans fly above. Then the sun sets in Basel on a warming Swiss eve, And I weep for the morning, for tomorrow we must leave.
I wrote this tonight as my wife and I enjoyed our final. Evening in Switzerland. We leave for Germany tomorrow and are driving and exploring through the black forest and North. We decided to stay an extra day in Basel, Switzerland. It was worth it. A beautiful, relaxed, love-filled city. Bursting with an extreme complementary mix of medieval history and a hopefull, youthful and modern outlook.
This was written as I sat with my feel in the river with the sounds of water, laughter, clinking wineglass & world Cup football from every tiny bar along the waters edge.