I'm closing my eyes deep In thought drifting slowly remembering I can see snow on the ground I'm In a park all the trees bare of leaves they look almost like ghostly figures hiding In the shadows waiting to pounce I approach a Park bench I'm not afraid because there Is a hand In mine It's that of that wife to be Helen her name so sweet she Is so full life sitting down beside me I'm looking at her pretty face It's bitterly cold but neither of us feels It we have youth on our side Helen Is dressed In this lovely two-piece green suit white blouse white stockings and beautiful black shoes so petite almost like a china doll I'm sitting there can't take me off her but no way was I going to let this girl slip away I'd made up my there then she would become my wife Helen was so beautiful to me as I finally her walked home we stood at Helen garden gate I looked In those beautiful blue eyes I could hear my voice In my head It said you don't know It yet Helen but I'm going to marry you shortly after that I did so proud of her I was she gifted me a son even though my poor girl passed away our son stayed with me he's just like his Mother I love him so much I'm reluctantly opening my eyes now my short time away from reality was so good while It lasted so beautiful Helen was to me
Helen In her beautiful green two piece suit white blouse and white stockings black shoes she look like a China Doll so petite Helen was so beautiful to me
You are so small, so petite I could almost pluck you from this field of flowers and place you in my shirt pocket, just to see if you could possibly get any closer to my heart I already feel you crawling from chamber to chamber But ****, if I could feel your physical touch inside my chest, would it really feel so different ? You are so warm, so gentle, so sweet Always fresh as a daisy And your hands, Always busy as bees And your lips, As if carved from rose petals, Remain forever on mine Because I cannot stay away Opiates are nothing compared to you But, alas, I am addicted
the salesperson pointed me towards the petite section told me 'oh the women's section isn't for you'
made me realize how much i've shrunk
don't get me wrong i'm still 5'2 (& a half) still weigh somewhere near 120 but i have bent and burnt into the corners
i have shrunk
it's a slow process you don't even realize that it is happening until you find yourself smaller than ever and you wonder how could a personality as big as mine become as small as this
perhaps it first began when i learnt to stay quiet when i really wanted to say no or yes or maybe or i believe or i don't think so
i looked down kept my lips sealed and my eyes closed blinking only to feel my eyelashes against my cheeks
i once had a boy tell me he fell in love first with my voice then with me
he tried to solve me like a puzzle putting back the bits and pieces to create something whole but in the process the pieces got jumbled up into something new and the voice i had that captured his soul slipped away
i started shrinking when i lost my voice and now i think i've lost my heart too my passion doesn't flow so loudly in my veins and every now and then it does scream but i silence it be good, little girl, be silent
and to the girls who are walking on glass made of unwanted opinions and voices which are far louder than theirs, i say, remember.
remember who you are remember what you are worth. and remember that not the father nor the son can take from you the fire that burns brighter than the sun above. my daughter, i say, let your voice be heard and let your freedom burn and if there is a day when a man comes and tells you that he will replace the vocal chords into something softer you open your hands offer him peace and if he rejects use your freedom to send him far far away.
When the internal righteousness is a mixture of all outside realities You shift in many "devils" up to the point where "You" no longer exist Once in a while, Seeking becomes monotonously an exciting habit But the latest iPhone and Burberry collection definitely make everything better.
"I am what I am" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9q2h6oGD6UA
The wind slowly, but swiftly swaying Against the petals of the pale lilac flower, Beautiful yet fragile, only praying For the storm to pass over the tall towers Of the frightening city. Its stem crawling closer and closer to its breaking point As the water flows towards the river's edge; pity On the sun's glory and shine. Disjointing The flower's yellow belly from its furrowing leaves As its life withers away, taken from the nature of thieves.