Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
Arden 1h
my body is a house
but
someone else lives there

my body is a house
but it's not mine
i'm just visiting
<3
My skin doesn't feel right
it doesn't feel right to breathe.
It doesn't feel right to wear a dress.
It doesn't feel right what in the mirror, I see.
This body doesn't belong to me.
These lips are not mine.
The luscious hair I cut off, still not mine.
My grandmother calls me two-spirit.
I call myself an error.
Because you see,
I am a boy.
Stuck in a girl's body.
dysphoooooooooooooorIIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Lucas Ennis Feb 13
Me: Opens mouth Hey e-
Dysphoria: Sup *****
****: Hey there
******: I'm here too! :)
Lucas Ennis Feb 13
My breath shortens
it gets harder to breathe
I feel like cutting
I wish I was at ease.
My dad says he understands, but I think not.
Because if you did, he wouldn't be calling me a girl.
Why hasn't he, I thought.
My mind is screaming at me
WHY WAS I A GIRL
WHY CAN'T I BE A GUY
WHY CAN'T I USE THE BATHROOM WITHOUT BEING SPAT ON
WHY CAN'T I HAVE SOMETHING IN BETWEEN MY LEGS
WHY CAN'T I HAVE NO *******
WHY CAN'T I HAVE FLAT HIPS
Dysphoria. Wooooooooooooooooooooo.
Arden Feb 11
to be trans is to have you live expectancy slipt into half
to be trans is being homesick in your body
to be trans is like when your car thinks you are
crashing to the seatbelt gets stuck
to be trans is being hated by people ** claim to preach love

to be trans is beautiful
to be trans is beautiful
to be trans is beautiful
I repeat myself because I am trying to convince myself
to be trans is beautiful
Arden Feb 11
mom i am trying to tell you something
i didn't **** your daughter
i cant **** a person who never existed

if only you knew how hard it is to know
that i will never be free
if only you knew how it feels to need to
claw my skin off

i am tired of waking up
knowing who i am
while everyone uses the wrong name
the wrong pronouns
because no, it is not just a pronoun
it is validation and i know I shouldn't
need that **** but
i do
Arden Feb 1
i feel broken in my
own bones
i want to get out of my skin
i want to change the unchangeable

my chest
my voice
my face
my everything feels wrong

I feel like crawling out
of my skin
ripping my chest off
and running away from my body

i just want it gone
just let this pain end
Arden Feb 1
Dysphoria isn't hating your body

Sometimes it is sadness
It's crying for the child who you never got to be
It's lying in bed, wondering who you would've been,
If only you were cis

Sometimes it's anger
It's screaming at the sky,
For the unfairness of it all
It's wondering why me
It's lashing out and resenting your family and friends
Because even if they try they will never understand
Never understand what using your correct name and pronouns
Means to you

Sometimes it is numbness
It's looking in the mirror and just feeling empty
It's taking a shower and staring at the ceiling
Hands going through the motions
Forcing yourself not to look down as you draw
With silver and it turns red

Sometimes it is fear
Fear of doctors appointments
It's the knot in your throat when you
Hear someone call you the wrong name and
Not being brave enough to correct them
It’s the fear that you will never
Be yourself

Sometimes it is confusion
It’s being young and wondering
Why their pronouns feel so wrong
Why your name doesn't fit
Wondering why you feel so wrong
But not having the words to explain yourself
It's walking past a store window and
Expecting to see one thing and seeing
Something else entirely

dysphoria
is sitting in front of the mirror
for 30 minutes picking out the parts of you
that do not fit
dysphoria is the mirror is not just the mirror
it is where my demons live

Sometimes it is exhaustion
Sometimes it's just hard
The weight of the world rests
Upon your shoulders
It’s the feeling that no matter
How much you sleep
You will never wake up to a
World where you get to be who you are
Without going through all this pain
And effort
And money
It's wishing that someone would just hold
You and tell you that they'll love you
No matter what, no matter what
They'll support you and fight
For you and call you the right things

Dysphoria isn't hating your body
i wish i could take it's power
make it mean nothing to me
have it mean someone else
but it was me
its a reminder i am not
who i want to be
Next page