I saw you in a hotel room
on vacation with your family.
You saw me with painful eyes
and walked away angry.

My heart sagged like a bag of flour
as you desperately flew by.
I guess you didn't have the audacity
to come and at least say hi.

Later on, you run into me again
in your blue striped polo.
Your hazel eyes breezed into mine
and they did not let go.

His eyes scarred with hurt as he said
"I have really missed you."
We embraced firmly as I inhaled
the soft smells of his polo so blue.

I woke up to my empty and purple room
knowing you are gone from me.
Having to remember every day
that was just a dream, not reality.

All she has is the hollow shadow of an ex-lover
And all that bring her joy are cigarettes and retro city pop records

Why am I so in love with you
Still
in love with you
Or
Am I just in love with the idea of you?

I think of you
and imagine golden light stemming from cracks within your body
I imagine
green, earthy rays radiating from your head
Wreathing and
Curling in a disarray that mirrors a jungle,
Just like your old hair that I like to remember you with.

It’s growing back now, isn’t it?
Don’t ask me how I knew.
It looks good;
To me you always do.

Every thought is entwined with contrails of
You.

I imagine
Warmth and honey, circulating, embedded in your stomach
Which then snakes and coils throughout every limb of your body.
It makes me feel warm too.

In my thoughts you are golden.

But is that really you?
Or to my heart, are you poison?

Am I foolish to be in love with you?

Call me obsessive,
I’m just a passionate lover.

I lay awake at night,
I look at the ceiling thinking of you.
Sometimes I never sleep.

I’m not obsessive,
Just in passionate love.

I stay in bed all day,
I close my eyes dreaming of you.
Sometimes I never wanna wake up.

I still have your clothes,
Some never washed.
I put them on and pretend I’m you.

I sit in front of the mirror,
I touch myself as you.

Call me obsessive,
I’m just your passionate lover.

I take hot showers.
I let the water cascade over me with eyes open
So I see the shape of you.

You stand in the shower with me,
Hair wet, and bright blue eyes that come alive.

I let the air cloud,
I let the windows fog.
I suffocate myself to hallucinate you.

Not obsessive,
Just passion filled.

I just want to love you,
I just want to hold you.
I want to wear your skin,
Feel you hot and fleshy around me.

I lay on the ground where you’ve walked,
I touch the areas you used to inhabit.
I still feel you here, I still feel you there.

I want to be hurt by you again,
I want to be bawling and weeping in love with you.

You’re obsessed,
I’m simply passion based.

You can’t hate me for that.

I want to be you,
I want to have you,
I want to be loved by you.

I’m obsessed,
Borderline obsessed.

And completely passionate.
About you.

I could really use one of the many conversations we used to have right now

But you aren't here
And you don't want to be around

You were an angel
turned to demon
and then to stranger.
You have blessed me
and cursed me ever since
you walked away.