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What do I think we are
Did I expect to see stars
Spining around both our heads
Forgetting the path that I fled
It all sounds so silly to me
Going back to such lived misery
How can I entertain my delight
At the thought of being under your spotlight
It all felt so decided, quite final
Like our last song on a vinyl
An album played ad nauseam
Swimming circles in stagnum
But a tale as old as time
The whimsy to rewind
In my attempt to create closure
I found the itch to flip our record over.
Today was supposed to be our anniversary
The day i met the "love of my life"
Coincidentally, it's also the day i let go
The end of an era
Or the beginning of a new chapter?
To finally embrace just to let go.
A reset, not of choice but of circumstance.
I want to say goodbye
But I'm too tired
I found that I am good at new beginnings
Ricki Apr 25
I still miss you.
I miss the kisses, the cuddles, the ***.
I miss your cheeky little grin and your wispy beard against my skin.
I miss how your eyes would glisten and your voice went higher,
As I listened to you tell me about dragon ball, or how work had been prior.
Without you, there are highs and lows, and
Every day is too fast, yet too slow.
If you had asked me early March why I’m here,
There would be nothing else to hear, except gushing over your curly hair
Or, how you walked me home from school every day when I was 15.
Why did you have to be so mean?
It went and ****** up everything.
Why’d you do that **** to me?
I couldn’t even just be and exist as me,
And everything is just the worst
Because I had to put me first.
I still miss you.
And, honestly I don’t know what to do
Or even who the **** I am.
I’m a phantom of myself.
I’m a ******* basketcase,
I’m a useless waste of space.
I can’t stop messing up everything.
And ever since we broke up,
I’ve worn your jacket to work.
And, I’m the **** that dumped you, but
My heart ******* hurts.
I still miss you.
I see you in every spring flower rising from the dirt.
And, I think they wrote every song about you, too.
Why does every beautiful piece of art look a lot like you?
I hate that I love rom coms.
I hate that you wouldn’t dance with me at prom.
I hate that I’m not Sally, and you’ll never be my Harry.
I hate that I wanted to marry you.
I’d rather die than be your spouse.
You’re still trying to say who I should talk to and what I should do.
I hate that I’m stuck 2 minutes from you and your stupid ******* house.
Because of you I can’t breathe and I shake.
Every time someone yells at me, I ******* break.
I hate that you’re so ******* bad to the core
I hate that you called me slurs and said I looked like a *****
I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.
I still miss you.
Remember when you smacked my face?
That’s something you can undo or erase.
Remember when I tried to exit a moving vehicle because you were keeping me against my will?
Rather you like it or not, that was meaningful.
Remember when you took my keys so that I couldn’t leave?
I genuinely can’t believe I let someone do those things to me.
Remember when you didn’t get me anything for graduating, turning 18, Valentine’s Day, anything.
You owe me so many ******* dates that you cancelled because it was getting late.
Remember when you berated me in front of all of my friends over and over again?
You called all my interests stupid and you never gave a **** about my art.
You wrote your name across my heart, but you never would dance with me
Because you thought I was cringey.
I still miss you.
And boy, you haven’t a single clue how to treat a woman, or even any person.
I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I hate that I still love you.
I hate that my identity is so entangled in you.
I don’t know what the **** to do.
Why am I here?
Why am I stuck in this perpetual state of fear that I can’t live without you?
You should get out of my head.
****, these intrusive thoughts want me dead.
I hate my stupid ******* brain for filling myself with disdain towards who I am alone.
I want to text you, but I’ll refrain.
Now, you’re nothing more than a name in my phone.
You’re not the boy that makes me swoon, giggle and moan anymore.
You’re not my baby, my qt, mi amor; you aren’t someone I want to adore.
I still miss you.
Why am I here?
What am I doing?
Deep inside me something’s brewing.
Every day I’ve sat here stewing.
I need to be someone new,
I need to figure out what to do.
Why can’t I ******* stop thinking about you?
But I’m still breathing; I’m not dead.
I keep forcing myself out of bed.
And I even dyed my hair red.
I’m here.
I’m where I’m supposed to be
And until my heart mends
I’m surrounded by lovely friends.
I’ll run away to be an artist.
Even though I’m not the smartest, I’ll figure this **** out.
I’ll learn to live without you.
I quit that job I hated.
My heart throbs for something different.
And **** love; it’s overated.
I still miss you.
My whole life was infiltrated by cupid’s stupid arrow.
My trust in life is so near narrow, and
I’ll never let a boy treat me like a barbie doll.
I am my own;  I won't be toyed with and I won’t fall
for some self obsessed, egotistical, adorable, little *******.
I wake up in my own bed and I own my own legs.
You can cry and you can beg, but I will never be your girl again.
And ****.
I’m here now, and I’ll allow what I’ll allow.
I’m going to just live for me
I’m here to just simply be.
I’m lost and I’m unknowing,
But ****** ****** boy, I’m ******* growing.
AND I’m here now.
I’m figuring out how to say no,
And I’m trying to go when and where I want to go.
I’m going to run away from you,
And you can stay in this **** town.
I know I won't let me down.
Why am I here?
One day I woke up on this blue-green sphere, and it didn’t mean a single thing.
I was a lump of flesh and blood; my mind was fresh and not corrupt.
I learned pain and I learned love. They both came and went abrupt.
I’m here now scorned and torn, and my heart and mind are worn.
I’ll live without you.
I’ll do what I have to.
What does it even matter why or how?
I’m here now because I’m here now.
I still miss you.
But, one day I won’t.
I’m here to see that day I don’t.
I’m here to hold my own heart.
I’m here now to make my art.
I still miss you.
This is so long, but This is my magnum opus of poetry. I dated this guy for 4 years and he meant the world to me. I love him a lot, and I only want good things to go his way. I was in a toxic relationship, but he has a good heart. This poem is me pouring my soul out, and I wrote it for a school project.
Sarah Delaney Apr 12
I want to take a moment to apologize
For trying to make you bear the weight of my personal trauma.
At the time,
It seemed easier to blame you than to admit the cold hard truth of the situation.
This was something that would forever change me,
Yet I tried to change you as well
And that was not fair to you.
The weight was mine to bear alone.
I forgive you for not knowing how to deal with the situation or how to comfort me.
Only time could do that.
I apologize for demonizing you for not being able to handle it,
The trauma was too great for anyone to ever comprehend.
I apologize for saying awful, demeaning words because I was hurting emotionally,
What I said I can never take back.
But most of all,
I forgive you for leaving
I wish you nothing but the best this world has to offer.
I am no longer your light,
the solace to your empty cosmic prison.
I refuse to accept the pain you weigh on my chest.
I am a formidable fortress, welcoming none
of your darkness.

I am a universe, expanding

with each breath I take.
soon, I will be too far from you to see
the dark matter plaguing your infinite cavity.

your pain can no longer affect
my growth into the unknown,
for I am no longer afraid of the dark.
about a toxic ex plaguing your growth!!
Too little too late
There was a time
that I wanted to open up to you
But you weren’t sure
If you wanted
what you said you wanted

You came for me
With all of your ideas
And plans to love me

knowing that you weren’t it for me
Why not give it a try
And Agreed
to get to know you
And follow your lead

You dropped me
But I can’t blame you
Because I knew better
So now when you call
“Just To say I love you”
I don’t answer
And when you txt
How “you miss me,
And still love me”
I say thank you

Because your love
Taught me
to always be true to me
So I don’t end up landing
*** first
Onto the cold hard concrete
Bruised ego
From not landing on my feet

Thank you
For teaching me
How important it is
for me to love me
Enough to say “no”
You’re not the one for me
But he is coming
And I love myself enough
To wait
This weekend was full of “circle back” txts. Reminders and professions of love. I haven’t forgotten how you made me feel. I haven’t forgotten how it felt to peel myself off the ground. This is the last poem that I will write to you, men from the past. I am all out of words for you. May God bless your future endeavors. *peace. Goodbye and goodbye.
laying your head in my lap
the way you always wanted to
looking up at me

as our eyes meet
for a few moments
dark oak swirling
with words we're
too nervous to
say out loud

seconds pass and
we can't take it

you roll-over
onto the bed
and i hunch
into myself

we can't stop laughing
making spiderman jokes
sneaking glances through
the night til our hands
intertwine without
meaning to
both wishing
we would
have kissed

i'm living all the way up here now
the mountains trail down to your
old suburban home

you're not here
not in my lap
staring up at me

and blue
against one

her eyes
and twisting
until they've
faded away

i miss you
but the phone
won't even
writing this made me cry lololol. why did she have to die? why her? i wish i could go back in time and kiss her. i'm not in love with her anymore after all these years but i never stopped loving her?? i don't know if that makes sense. i need to edit this and probably scrap it all together idk. i just. i'm laying in bed alone with my cat and i'm wishing we did all the things we said we were going to do. i just want to hold her hand and tell her that i wish she was here
Jeanmarie Mar 4
It took me 4 full years to realize I can’t have you back
Even if I could one day

I don’t want the life you’ll have me living
And I think you knew that and that’s why you ran away
It took me a long time to see that I would never be truly happy
In a life that was so vain
But you knew and you saved me
Even though I kicked and screamed and begged

You’re not in a place to compromise and I would’ve sacrificed my life
For a love that would’ve kept me trapped in my toxic days
You viewed me in ways that I didn’t see myself
And were right every time,
Only when it came to the good things
And even if it wasn’t handled the right way
You ultimately saved me from a life
That I thought I could one day embrace

I don’t want the life you’ll have me living
And I think you knew that and that’s why you ran away
It took me a long time to see that I would never be truly happy
In a life that was so vain
But you knew and you saved me
Even though I kicked and screamed and begged

Putting yourself first ain’t all that easy
When feelings were as deep as mine
The guilt, shame, and being hungry
Doesn’t help when it comes to saying goodbye
So don’t judge me

Man, 4 years was a long time
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