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6.3k · Dec 2014
Brain surgery sucks.
Makenzie Marie Dec 2014
They shaved my head
and cut me open
took my skull
and my way of coping
My life had changed
in just a moment
I can't decide
but I might wish I hadn't done it.
I can't play
or practice
I have to be careful.
If I'm not cautious
with my head
I could instantly wind up dead.
My headaches aren't gone
and I'm still dizzy
all you really took
was half my aspirations.
I hadn't much warning
just a surprise.
And when I could easily die
every day is a compromise.
More just had to be taken away
because the last 13 surgeries
hadn't changed my day to day.
It's a brand new world I'm living in
where all my dreams are limited
and they're starting to run thin.
so here you have me
and I'm crying mercy.
six months ago I had a Chiari decompression on my skull. I finally have finished recovery. technically. But sill, my life is limited, and it always will be now. I can't get past that I'm 19 and I feel like I can't do anything. I know it will pass and I will get used to this and accept this with gratitude, but that day hasn't come yet /:
Makenzie Marie Jul 2018
You’ve hardened me
And every silver bullet
you’ve lodged into my heart,
I’ve plucked out,
Enduring the pain
And built myself an armor
Out of your betrayal.

And You are not a Phoenix.
Your tears
Will not heal
the open wounds
you have caused
With your trifling talons.
You cannot fix this.
Makenzie Marie Jan 2015
My body betrays me
Every day
But can I complain?
What can I say?
If I'm honest,
I've betrayed it myself.
4.0k · Oct 2014
Scars
Makenzie Marie Oct 2014
The scars I've given myself
are mistakes.
The scars
life has given me
are great.
But the scars
from others
etched deep into my soul
are impossible.
They never fade.
Too deep to erase.
I hate it.
3.8k · Dec 2014
With Gratitude and Love
Makenzie Marie Dec 2014
I know
that whatever I do
I can do it with you.
Thankfully,
you'e by my side
day and night.
In the dark
and through the storms
You'll be might light
and You'll be my warmth.
You give me strength
and reason to breathe.
You are everything that I need.
You have saved me from my sin
You bring hope to me again.
        This month we celebrate your birth
the most joyous day on all the earth.
The world fills with your love
and gratitude for Thee above.
        We thank Thee, Lord
for the sacrifice
of your precious earthly life,
that you may feel
our joy and pain
that we can be with you again.
        Because I know I'm never alone
and that you're with me through the storm
I can endure through the darkest night
because I know that you're by my side.

With Gratiude
and Love for thee,
your humble servant,
        Makenzie.
In the season of Christmas. Keep Him in it. #sharethegift
Makenzie Marie Jan 2015
I picked up a blade again today
Needless to say I am not okay.
I'll be better "some day"

But I guess
I can decide to say
I will be better today.

Just because I ***** up
doesn't make me a ***** up.
You are defined by your actions.
But I can decide:
to be defined
by what's left in my stride
before I trip and stumble and fall,
or by what's ahead,
despite it all.

I'll choose the latter
and I'll move on...
I will be strong.

Because I am not as weak
as I seem to think
I am strong
and my God
will hold me in his mighty arm.

I picked up a blade again today.
But I can honestly say
**I am going to be okay.
3.4k · Jul 2018
You trust; He Lusts
Makenzie Marie Jul 2018
Trust
And tryst
Don’t slit your wrist
As he lies
While you cry
Increase your meds and you’ll be fine
But trust
Whilst he lusts
After other *****.
And he lies
While you cry
And give your heart and soul
Simply trying
To make him smile.
But he’ll destroy you
All the while.
Makenzie Marie Dec 2014
The snow
makes my body ache
but it makes my heart soar

and good gosh,
I don't want to leave here anymore.
2.3k · Apr 2015
I Have Trust Issues.
Makenzie Marie Apr 2015
Honestly,
all I want
lately,
is to trust you,
completely.
I just need
to know
if I am safe
to let go...

If I release
and expect peace
only to have my heart
ripped apart
piece by piece...
How will anything be left
for me to give away
to someone
who I hope will stay?
2.2k · Jan 2015
PSA
Makenzie Marie Jan 2015
PSA
I said no.
I know I said stop.
But I haven’t met a guy yet who understood that.

Yes
and No
are not interchangeable
And stop
never means go.

And it’s not her fault
for looking like that
And it’s not her fault
that all he wants is some ***.

But he won’t stop,
and his weight is crushing her
He won’t stop
and he’s forcing her.

The feeling of a man pulling at the back of your hair
isn't a great feeling ever
after you've been there
in her position
unable to control any of it
Unable to push him off
or away
because he’s holding your hands with a wild grip
and with a force that overpowers every ounce of your strength.
After that, the touch of a man will rarely make you swoon or sway.

And you won’t understand
the feeling of guilt that never quite goes away
That feeling that you are weak
and worthless
because all you could do was pray and take it.

Because society has taught her she did something wrong:
That she asked for it
that she invited it.
And maybe she was asking for something,
but that sure as hell wasn't it.
She didn't ask to be treated like she was worthless.

And PSA:
no woman is.
PSA: no woman or girl deserves to be taught by an experience that she is worth nothing. No woman or girl deserves to be taught that she never will be worth anything than what you did to her. No person deserves to be ignored. No person deserves blame for situations out of their control. No human being deserves to be treated or handled like dirt.
We are all human together, so for the love of God can we please stop pushing each other to the ground
Makenzie Marie Feb 2015
I'm curious
if there will be an us.
If I'll have a plus
one
to all these weddings coming up.
I wonder
what you're thinking...
If you'll ever know that I've been dreaming
of you
of all the things we used to do
And all that I hope to do.
I wonder what you think of me,
how you view what we used to be
If you hope to find a different side of me
Because I want you to see
all of me.
I'd open up to you
If I knew for sure that we'd make it through.
And I don't doubt that I will anyway
Because I have some things I want to say
to you.
Some things I want to finish, too.
I want to pick up on that last conversation
that we had
where I ended up so dang sad
Because I never considered the idea
But I think I knew somewhere inside
And still, all I wanted to do was hide.
But I've conquered the fear, I think,
of knowing what's inside of me.
And you know my demons
and you were there through the fight
You're the only one who held me while I cried.
Thank you for always being there by my side.
I just cant help but wonder
after all this rain and thunder
(as if it will ever end)
You'll ever be more than my friend.
But you know what they say about curiosity.
It kills.
So does that apply to dreams?
Makenzie Marie Jul 2015
Last night was a perfect night,
watching shooting stars across the sky
the crackling firewood
and the glimmer in our eyes;
smores, and stories
of troubled times
and how we're grateful we made it out alive.
Scripture study fireside,
testimonies, and lots of tears cried,
lead to long group hugs to dry our eyes.

This is what real Friendship feels like:
this is remembering why I needed to stay alive,
this is why I'm grateful for God's presence in my life.

And I think I'm learning,
"borrowed time"
means staying up until the sunrise
and still calling it Saturday night.

Why else would He have created Summertime?
Grateful to He who planned out my life for giving me such amazing friends and influences in my life to remind me why I fight
2.0k · Apr 2019
Amygdala
Makenzie Marie Apr 2019
Your cologne is on my shelf
So at least I don’t have to miss your smell
Makenzie Marie Mar 2015
He* loves me
but she loves him...
and I think i love someone else.
So how the heck am I supposed to know what's meant to be?
Makenzie Marie Nov 2014
I will not jump
Straight off a cliff
Where I've already broken myself to bits.
1.8k · Nov 2018
Resurrection
Makenzie Marie Nov 2018
You whisper to me
Your breath on my lips
“I love you”
Followed by a tender kiss.

My heart stops, and revives,  
With the butterflies
That rise
From their graves

Please stay.
You might think it was too early but now I know that’s on your mind and you van halfway take it back but it’ll still make me smile. I hope you’re around when I am able and ready to reciprocate.
Makenzie Marie Jul 2018
You call yourself fire but you are the water that quenches my flames
You are the dirt that snuffs out the coals
And Buries me.
And the dust that coats my throat
Until I’m choking
And coughing up the coals
I swallowed
Trying to keep the flames alive

But it worked
And they are still flickering inside me.
Keeping me alive

Because I am fire.
But only for myself.
Though I’m sure I have left a few flames in my wake.
I wonder if they’re licking at you
Threatening to swallow you?
I hope instead
you take them as a lend
Bottle them up
In your darkest hour
And until my light, I’ve left in you,
Flickers out,
I hope you let those flames
Left in my wake
light your way.
Makenzie Marie Jul 2015
Don't date a girl like her.
Because she giggles too much and trusts too fast and it's all because she's been brokenhearted too many times for things that never shoulda or coulda lasted and learned that life is so much better when you laugh things off and have faith in your surroundings-- including the people.
You'll find that she's rainbows, sunshine, and cotton candy. And much like a day at the carnival you might turn some corners to find all sorts of surprises. And some of them will be dark and scary and some will be taste tries of churros and your favorite sweets that you can't find anywhere else in the world.
She's like a carnival because you'll never find her staying in one place too long, but the things you love most about her-- the thrill rides and the people watching and the sponteneity-- it'll always stay the same.
She'll "borrow" your hoodies and your sweats and you'll probably let her keep them because she looks so cute in them while she's all cuddled up next to you. She'll give you massages after a long hard day as long as she can trust that you'll give them back.
She'll sing along to all the songs she doesn't know but be patient and love her shy confidence because she can only sort of carry a tune and she belts it out anyway. If you compliment her laugh and call it cute she'll smile about it for days because she knows it's obnoxious and she's insecure.
And she's insecure about a lot. She's learning. She's learning to love herself and she's trying. But when you compliment her, and when you remind her that she is good enough, it helps her see that she is worthy of trying to fall in love with.
She's trying to fall in love with herself. She's trying to be the kind of person that she even wants to love. And she's not there yet. But maybe you can help her.
Maybe your fearless singing and your confidence and your faith can help her to become herself. Maybe you can bring her our of her shell. Maybe if you let her steal your hoodies and let her tuck her feet under your thighs because she's cold and let her be open about her life..... maybe then, by those small and simple things, you'll become yourselves together.
And on second thought...Maybe... just probably... you should date her.
@ the boy who will never see this.
1.6k · Dec 2014
I want to go out of control
Makenzie Marie Dec 2014
I know
I have control
but I don't want to anymore.

I was out of control
in the worst of ways
and somehow
I miss those days.
I can't figure out if I'm okay with winning this battle.
I'd much rather forfeit today.
Makenzie Marie Mar 2015
Shallow breaths,
tight chest,
blurry vision,
No rest.
*******
by my thoughts:
make it stop...
‘give it all you’ve got.’
Head spinning,
hope dwindling.
Skin burning,
bones chilling.
Drowning in air
a sinking ship;
dying of thirst,
and I don’t get a drip.
Surrounded by an ocean
and I can’t see
anything.
I can’t hear
for the life of me.
This feeling
I swear
is killing 
me.

Whispering:
“give in
don’t get up
stay home
you’re not enough.
Even if there’s nothing wrong:
walk out the door
and harm
will come”
This ubiquitous feeling
draping
over me,
enveloping
everything,
wet,
and weighted...
bet you’ve never hated
someone so much
you’d stab them in the chest
and without a moments rest
grab them at the throat
so tight they can’t whisper a note
and leave them wondering
if they’ve even given their best
after their whole self feels negated.

**This hate,  
this punishment 
or something,
draped
over me
so viciously
is known as:
Anxiety.
1.5k · Mar 2015
Depression frigging sucks.
Makenzie Marie Mar 2015
I don't know.
I'm sad
and I'm mad
about being so sad.
Because I know life isn't so bad,
and I'm trying to add
more of the happiness I've previously had
and I'm so dang glad
I mean, I can see the blessings I have.
But no matter how bad
I want to not be sad
or how hard I try...
I still sit here with tears in my eyes
and I'll tell you "I'm fine."
And you know it's a lie;
I'm holding on for dear life.
I am tired
and the fire
in my eyes?
Along with my cloudy heart,
and the cloudy skies;
those flames
are dimming
going out with the city lights
in the middle of the night
Like if I just hide
and take some time
to get things right
The despair will somehow
dissapear from my mind.
Maybe if I try
being kind
to myself
...and my heart and my mind
I will be fine
sometime.
1.5k · Jan 2019
Forever, I believe.
Makenzie Marie Jan 2019
Sometimes I think
This must be too good to be
True, but I hope that’s just anxiety speaking

Because you’re someone I want to keep
Makenzie Marie Apr 2015
There are entire worlds
behind your eyes.
Stories hiding deep inside.
Places where hopes and dreams thrive.
Places where
...maybe...
my heart can reside.
Worlds where the irational things
exist rationally.

I swear,
Behind your eyes
there are worlds
that I
could travel far and wide,
Where I
could see the beginning
and the end of time.


And I know
Your eyes hold secrets.
But so do mine.
Makenzie Marie Sep 2015
I'm sorry that I can't keep my hands off of you
But it's like you have your own gravitational field that only affects me and even when I'm right next to you I want to be holding your hand or playing with your hair or rubbing your back. And maybe it's me. Maybe I'm afraid that if I don't hold on to you with all I have that you'll fall out of my bubble and my gravitational field won't affect you anymore and maybe our paths will never cross so closely again and maybe what could have been something absolutely amazing, like the fact that God placed the earth the perfect distance from the sun, will end up as insignificant as the distance between pluto and an asteroid out in the abyss
1.3k · Mar 2019
I like this timeline.
Makenzie Marie Mar 2019
Last night
Holding me tight
He whispered
“You want to keep me?”
Yes, always.
“I guess I’d better get you a ring.”
I smile
Trying to hide what I’m thinking.
That this is terrifyingly exciting.
1.3k · Jan 2016
Time is a funny thing
Makenzie Marie Jan 2016
I was:
a little broken,
a little lost on time,
too much,
and not enough
(But I'd swear "I'm doing fine").

And on every cold night
You held me so tight
my pieces fit together
and you filled the holes
left by storms and bad weather.

Too much is nonexistant
and you love that I'm persistant.
not enough is impossible.
And that's what it means
when you tell me you love me
I'm on top of the world.

I want to say time changes things,
because it's the truth about reality.
But honestly, you're the thing
and you've changed me.
but in a better way than time herself could ever dream.
And now, I'll get to watch change with you for eternity.

Today we're together,
and I'm a little lost on time.
'Cuz I'm in love,
and that's enough.
(I'm doing so much more than fine.)
Makenzie Marie Mar 2015
One minute
my body is sreaming,
shreiking;
It's deafening,
the roaring inside me.
Excruciating.
It's
tearing
at the seams
it seems.
In that minute
the pain is searing,
scortching,
It's blinding fire raging
and burning
up every bit of me.
It's debilitating.
An angry
sharp,
sore,
stiff,
stabbing,
torturously
unending
pain.

And suddenly
with the magic
of medication
it's becoming
fuzzy.
I'd like to thank modern medicine.
1.2k · Nov 2014
I miss the Summer Heat.
Makenzie Marie Nov 2014
I crave your touch
your eyes
your lips
everything about you
I miss
You've got me hypnotized.
I long for you
for my hands in your hair
our fingers intertwined..
I wish I were there
or you were here,
or we were anywhere,
together.
you and I.
I miss you.
I feel the fire of you
everywhere
from my lips
to my fingertips
you will not leave me
the summer heat
you kissed me with
has seared my memory
Makenzie Marie Nov 2018
Just leave behind any words you heard that weren’t kind. Learn to greet your enemy with a smile, It will only hurt for just a while.
1.1k · Oct 2014
Where Am I
Makenzie Marie Oct 2014
The truth about my recovery?
I lied
I told the truth
I was better.
So much better
a different person
truly, really,
not the me that was dying to die a year previous.
for six years the monsters consumed me
It starts so subtle.
She’s skinnier.
‘No I’m on a diet’
‘I’m a size 0’
your best friend skips lunches.
slowly, surely, the monster slips into your head.
your nightmares are living
compulsions start.
too young.
don’t eat in front of people.
one granola bar will get you through practice until home.
and all the comments egging you on.
‘you aren’t skinny enough for that..’
‘but if you eat salad all summer’
Soon you can’t look at yourself.
Soon the Monster of self hatred turns you to more
because the diets aren’t enough
so spring break after a bowl of corn chips
you close the bathroom door
and the porcelain becomes your ally.
friends may know.
but you can be sneaky.
after all, how else would you manage your size?
Eventually it isn’t enough, you want quicker results.
And the monsters of self hatred are eating you up.
you’ve grown now of course.
pushed away friends who knew who wanted you to get help.
Because this Monster, This darkness in your mind,
your only friend.
No more food.
leave crumbs and a buttered kife.
anything eaten, behind the bathroom door.
And very soon
The blades come out to play.
So intriguing how easy it is.
and how simple to hide.
What an easy release.
17 and 110 lbs, covered in scars on her hips.
I did get help.
I went to therapy.
I loved it.
I didn’t just change these acts
I changed myself.
But I wasn’t better, I was anxious
to be done with it
to be set free.
So I stopped going.
when I wasn't totally ready.
I thought I was happy..
But is that why I relapsed?
It was only once.
But is that why I still find myself depressed?
Sometimes suicidal?
Is it my fault?
It’s usually my fault so I can see how it would be.
I lied.
That’s the truth.
And
I
Don’t
Know.

But I do know
this recovery is a continuous fight.
And I just wonder
Where am I now?
1.1k · Jan 2015
You're a day at the beach.
Makenzie Marie Jan 2015
Your broke your way into my heart
Like the ocean waves
Breaking along the shoreline
Quietly,
And loudly...
All at the same time.
Gradually,
But in one fell swoop...
And it went on and on.
Like the ocean,
I don't think it has ever stopped.
You worked your way into my heart
Like the tide
Ever increasing
     in intensity
     and in power
     and in volume.
But when high tide came
You gave your last wave
And it crashed into me
And washed over me
   And sent me falling
      and sent me tumbling
         And left me reeling to catch my breath.
But it's exhilarating
The not knowing
     Which way is up
     Or down
     Or left
     ...Or which way is right....
It's liberating
the warmth on my skin.
And even with the crash of the tide
I love even the thought
of you being at my side.
And I dream of diving in
to your deep blue peace
     and chaos
     and beauty
Into the deep blue unknown.
That's the beauty of it...
I don't know.
1.1k · Oct 2014
Downfall
Makenzie Marie Oct 2014
Every day a facade,
a fake.
What is it
that you’re trying not to break?
Pieces of you
and pieces of me
are already broken,
not ever neatly.
Everyone trying
to live in their lies.
Everyone struggling
to simply get by.
Who would ever,
when there was a crack,
take a blow at it all
and never look back?
Who left me,
bleeding on the floor,
crying behind locked doors?
Did I do this?
Did I ruin my own blissfullness?


....Are we to blame
for
our
own

d
    o
        w
            n
                f
                   a
                       l
                          l
                            s
                              ????
Makenzie Marie Oct 2014
I want you here
Your hand in mine
To feel you close
Oblivious to time

I want you here
My lips on yours
In your arms
I'd feel secure

I want you here
want to feel
Your breath on my neck
Tangible and real

I can't say how much
I want you here
For you to Pull me in
Laugh in my ear

My dear
I want you here
I love you
No matter where
Makenzie Marie Feb 2015
"Just Don't worry"
They say.
They tell me it's okay.

But tell me,
Is anxiety
something I can wish away?
Is depression simply a nightmare
A dream that Im drowning
From which I can suddenly wake up happy?
Is my anorexic mentality,
My bulimic brain
Nothing but a bad dream?
Is it even possible for me
To just not worry?
Because if there is a way
To escape my brain
To run away from my pain,
I haven't found it.

But you're right,
**It's "okay"
Makenzie Marie Dec 2014
It's one of those days
I can't make sense of my thoughts
and quite frankly
it's ******* me off.
I don't even know
what I want anymore.
I say one thing
and do another
And I know
it makes no sense
but I can't help
my senselessness.
I'm drowning in my indecision
and my desire for difference.
And really
I feel defeated.

But I swear will not be.
1.0k · Nov 2014
Untitled
Makenzie Marie Nov 2014
I wait
Every endless day
for the time to come
In which I can take
A lovely handful
To take the pain away
To a dull nagging
Instead of
That searing scream
I know so well.
1.0k · Oct 2014
Count Down
Makenzie Marie Oct 2014
It’s been so long
and distance
does it change things?
And
have things changed?
Time
seems to me
the epitome of change
and I let it pass
so freely
so selfishly
not really so willingly..
But explanations are
weak
pitiful
and mirror how I feel
about it all.
Because oh dear
I miss you
and I love you!
And though I wish
I could take myself back
to when so much time
had not passed,
I wish, now,
it would pass
a bit more freely.
I wish the clock
would tick a little quicker.
Because I want you home
and I want the familiarity
of your hand in mine
and your arms around me
playfully.
You mean so much to me
I’m waiting
Makenzie Marie Jun 2015
half of me
honestly
Just wants to fly
until my fingertips can touch the sky...
until I can taste the sunrise.
I want to know the flavor of the cotton candy sky
at five.
(Does it taste the same in the morning and at night?)
I want to breathe in the stardust that I've been wishing on all my life.
I want to fly.
I want to be where you cant tell earth from ocean or sky.
I want to find
that magic that's invisible to the naked eye.
I want to light a fire
In my heart and sould and mind....
I want to fly.
Makenzie Marie Oct 2014
I am a garden
oh, I feel sunlight
warmth in your smile
flowers are blooming.
what I cannot quite figure out,
sometimes,
am I the gardener
do I tend to myself?
or do I allow others
to plant seeds in me,
nourish me,
help me grow?
am I a community garden
to share with this world?
to trust my rosebushes
my sunflowers
and daffodils
to a world of genocide?
how can I?
I guess I’ll just choose
A white picket fence
open to only those
whose eyes crinkle
when they smile
sunshine
slipping through the cracks
open to those
whose words
so delicately plant
seeds of hope.
I’ll nourish them,
and tend to
this community garden.
981 · Dec 2014
A war worth waging
Makenzie Marie Dec 2014
There's a war on
inside me
Raging on
And I'm fighting.

But I'm not free.
And never will be.
I battle my body...
So everyone can see
(Especially me)
that this war will not end in defeat
971 · Oct 2014
Pity
Makenzie Marie Oct 2014
And so I watch
And I listen
as faithful friend after friend excuses themselves
with their funny excuses
and I laugh
at the joke that the fates have whispered to me
No one else seems to hear it
It’s not quite so funny, you see.
The pitter patter of the pity
You can hear it, you see
You can see it, actually.
“It’s a small thing among friends”
And a small thing to see in a stranger’s face
The twinge of sadness and confusion and relief for themselves
They look at me and they see what they will never be
They see, though, what could happen, horribly.
One in 100
maybe.
1,000
10,100?
less likely
(for you).
And so I watch
And I listen
And they whisper
and they wonder
and they worry
And I laugh
at the joke that life telling me,
mocking at me.
But it’s not quite so funny, you see.
The whispering of the Wonderers
Asking over politely
Never listening intently
And I’ll tell them all about it
And I will listen
to the pitter patter of the pity.
Pitter pattering;
tip toeing around me,
so constantly
and away, usually.
tip toeing of tongues in whispers so willingly disregarding me,
or cautiously eluding everything.
Or even tip toeing of tongues trying to calm me.
The pitter patter of pitty.
You can hear it, you see.
You can see it, actually.
It may be a small thing.
Truthfully, it’s bigger than you might see.
I see.
And I laugh.
at the joke that the the fates whispered.
No one else quite seems to understand it.
But It’s become quite funny, to me.
What a pity.
939 · May 2015
Release
Makenzie Marie May 2015
I love it when it rains.
I love the thought that even the sky
has to cry itself dry.
I love the notion
that our roof
of clouds and sunshine
has to let go of all of the commotion
of being bulletproof
sometimes, too.

I love that after this release,
everything feels and loooks and smells brand new.

Sometimes we've all gotta do that too.
938 · Dec 2014
I miss you already.
Makenzie Marie Dec 2014
I wonder if
you see
that I write about you
endlessly.
I wonder if you see
the attempt at hiding my smile
when I hear you sing
those songs that you wrote about me.
I wonder if you remember
everything we used to be.
and I mean everything.
If you could go back
rewind the year
would you do anything differently here?
I wonder.
But you cant change a thing.
So I'll just listen to you sing
and reminisce
in imaginary bliss.
Makenzie Marie Nov 2014
All I want
today
is to give up.

I want to stop eating.
I want to stop thinking.
I want to stand in the snow
and let my body freeze
until I've burned off every last calorie
I want to run until I puke.
Then run more.
Until the moment comes that I black out
Until that empty moment
of empty relief
comes to me
even if it's only a moment.
I just want to be free.

Because I'm living in a personal hell
most days lately I don't even know myself
I can't look in the mirror without disgust
I freaking hate my stinking guts.

I've never hated it so much
that I'd rather stay inside.
I've never been so ashamed
that all I wanted to do is hide.

But today that's where I am.
Makenzie Marie Oct 2019
You’re so afraid of your security
That you accidentally take mine from me.

I felt secure in you until you changed your mind, repeatedly.

If you aren’t ready, please tell me.

Because I’m afraid to wait forever for you only to find that I’ll never be enough for you.
9/17/19
You’re worth the wait and everyone gets cold feet sometimes. I understand your mind a little better now.
894 · Aug 2019
650 miles..
Makenzie Marie Aug 2019
It’s far too far
And the months are much too long
So the moment I can, I close the gap between us and snuggle in so close to you and remind myself that one day I won’t have to leave your arms.
886 · Aug 2019
Untitled
Makenzie Marie Aug 2019
If I haven’t told you enough times today,  
I love you. And I am infinitely proud of you. Even on your hard days, you handle it with grace.
876 · Oct 2018
Untitled
Makenzie Marie Oct 2018
I wonder if my screams
Induced by your abuse
Haunt your dreams.
Makenzie Marie Dec 2018
You love me
In my natural state
Undone
A mess
And in that you see beauty.
It’s such a dream,
To me at least.
Makenzie Marie Oct 2015
Falling in love with you was the best choice I ever made.
Not giving up on you was the best thing I ever could've done.
And handing over my heart to you, though I was hesitant at the start, was the start of the most exhilerating free fall of my life, and I know that it's the safest one I ever could have chosen as well, because I know that with you, falling is more like flying.
And I am confident with you as my wings, because you are the biggest blessing God ever could've granted me.
You are the most beautiful soul that I have ever been blessed to know.
I swear the moon ought to get it's light from you,
and the birds could learn a thing or two from you, because I've never heard a sweeter sound than you singing, but even that comes second to you whispering into my neck, "I Love you."
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