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He was like alcohol and all he did was numb me
You are caffeine and leave my heart beats skipping—

So I‘d actually thank him for leaving.
floW 7d
19: I’m picking up the pieces of glass trying to put the mirror back together so I can see myself again.
18: my dad, perfectly healthy says goodnight to me on February 28th. And on March 1st, I watch him die in front of my own two eyes wishing I could be the one on the hospital bed.
17: I don’t tell my mom, but I stay at my dad’s house most of the time on purpose, her house is just too toxic for me.
16: my mom gets remarried. I watch as my mother and sisters are emotionally abused.
15: my moms been dating this guy for about a year, he’s not a good guy and everyone knows it. she wont listen to anything anyone says, she thinks he’ll change, people don’t change.
14: freshman year ******. maybe my parents got divorced cause of me.
13: switching between two houses isn’t too bad, plus double the presents on Christmas.
12: I found out my parents are getting divorced, we TOTALLY saw this coming.
11: we start hearing arguments roaring through the night like a lion. my dad starts sleeping in my room.
9: I’ve started to remember what my oldest sister was like. I can see as each year goes by, like a page flipping, her death is tearing my parents apart.
8: life in this new town is pretty great, my family has a big house and we eat dinner on the couch together and watch tv:)
6: life’s pretty cool, I’ve got a couple friends and I play sports with my parents. my sisters take care of me.
3: March 2003, my oldest sister, my second mom drops dead right in front of my eyes. I can’t comprehend it, but I see everyone else crying so I do too. Where’s my sister? I can’t find her.
if only I could hit restart.
LaFayette Oct 6
It’s really strange to pay you
To find out who I am in this head
Maybe I should just talk to a mirror
It would at least be cheaper

I came in to talk about suicide
And now we are all over the place
Now I have PTSD and a divorce
But at least I know why I’m crazy

What do you mean I’m not ready
To run out and find another wife?
I don’t see how too few months
Means I’m too messed up to love

Actually, you are probably right
I probably just need to find a lay
Be honest and forthright about me
But get the hell out of there after

Thanks for the session
It was certainly enlightening
I’m no less crazy then before
But now at least I know it
LaFayette Aug 15
She left me for dead
In the house that we built, loved
But I am not dead
Haiku (at least I hope, I'm bad at counting syllables)
Jeff Lewis Oct 4
Kneeling form
Prayers uttered
Eyes look up to heaven

Slender match
Waiting wick
Paid by proffered coin

Tiny fire burns
Wax of holy hope
Melted prayers glisten

Moist eyes reflect
Tears slowly dry
Tracks on sorrowed checks

Another coin
Another flame
Who would be to blame

The burning candle
Flickering tells
It’s time for letting go

Burning low
Hope gutters
Golden rings forgotten
ancient history, but memory is persistent.
Brad post Sep 26
I remember the way you looked,
the night we first met.
It seems like ages ago,
when your last name was Arivett.

Blonde hair and that sweater,
the one I loved so much.
It was light grey,
and so soft to the touch.

I brought you carnations,
that were white as pearl,
but I saved back three,
for your little girl.

You both met me at the door,
and she was super shy.
She giggled an squealed,
holding her flowers tight.

I was never dating you,
it was all of us.
Three against the world,
that’s how it always was.

Then we moved away,
and you got pregnant.
I was so **** thrilled,
but you didn’t want to keep it.

I was hurt and confused,
but I blamed the hormones.
I guess I should have seen,
when I saw that message on your phone.

I didn’t even know the dude,
because you never told me,
but the pic that he sent you,
should have made me see.

But I forgave that,
and I moved on,
till I found out you ****** him,
and then the trust was gone.

Still I forgave you,
and put it out my head.
I ignored all the warnings,
because of things you said.

Now you are gone,
and took our little girl.
And Bub is a hostage,
and ****’s starting to swirl.

Everything that I have,
is a memory of you.
Memories that grow darker,
cause they’re only half truths.

The cards and the notes,
that I store away.
I want them to be real,
but if they were you’d have stayed.

Your love was a lie,
that you built so well,
that you couldn’t imagine the damage,
when it finally fell.

Now I’m the one that’s digging through,
trying to make the pieces fit.
I can’t move on until it’s done,
but you simply don’t give a ****.

I just wish you’d tell me,
if it was real or if it was fake.
Tell me it was just a nightmare,
for my sanity’s sake.

I’m not gonna lie
and tell you I’m ok.
Just please tell me,
how much longer do I have to pay?

I know the pain will never end,
I just want some ******* relief.
Cause I cannot keep doing this,
and the memories are growing teeth.
Relationship collapse
Lyda M Sourne Sep 25
That’s the thing

I can’t love anymore

Because I was led to believe that I was loved

Only to discover that it was all an act

He was only lonely

And I was led to believe that I had found someone who would treat me better than my parents treated each other

I can’t have you

Because I’ll go in the relationship

Just waiting for the inevitable to happen

The moment you look me in the eye and say you never loved me
and now I can't believe..not in you and definitely not in me
Mary Velarde Sep 22
The boogeyman wears the same ring as mummy
And sleeps in her bed every night
Yesterday he hit my mummy
and told me she was alright.
Aseh Sep 20
I want to play house with you but you never let me I’m not even allowed inside your house even though I’m allowed inside your mouth.
My feelings for you are not simple if I stare at them too long my eyes start burning
my warmth for you always so flammable and quick to spread and trickle down.
But your faceprint floats around my mind it feels like a breath of autumn air to revisit
fresh and crisp
I want to inhale you.

Will you leave me stale and dull and achy
Will my whole body recoil unto itself like a tender spot that never toughens up
Are you so unlike that recurring drunk bruise on my upper right thigh
fat and bold, navy-yellow (I always wonder where you came from)
I hoped you might be fleeting otherwise I never would have let you kiss me like that
but here I am standing still while you weave through me stuck or afraid to unstitch myself.

I know
by the way our voices go
sickly sweet and weak and warm
how we drop low into a de minimis code we know too well for having never been taught
an uncontrolled hum the world cannot hear
I know
a tiny sliver of you
wants to play house too.
a thousand i miss yous linger
in the sky, stubborn clouds that they
are. but i am not tall enough,
nor can i reach high enough to
bring them down and spill them upon
the floor for you. so they remain
there, unspoken, unrained, unloved.
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