Just straight repeats are playing
In the darkness.
"Beat me" proceeds burnt out,
bullshit wisdom.

Broken, beat-up, second hand,
Used emotions,
Carve grooves and ruts so deep
On fractured psyches.

"Don't you want to turn it off now,
Take their hands and give them cleaning?"

"Don't you want to burn the house down,
Gather ashes and give life meaning?"
You left years ago,
                                the bed still unmade
You left years ago,
                                the bills still unpaid
You left years ago,
                                the message I still play
You left years ago,
                                the beauty I still gaze
You left years ago,
                                the child I still raise
The scars
Outlive the memories.
Hatred
is relinquished,
But I can't say
That I don't understand It
Any more.
Under the bitter sunshine,
You had to beg me to be still.
Still I could not contain my thoughts
Of how all these things had come and gone.

So, people the boards with those who play their parts,
Those who no longer want to feel strong.
We wither under your watchful gaze,
We crumble under your wrath and scorn.

We didn’t choose to have our hearts
So empty, yet so full of dirt.
I didn’t want to drink my weight
In this poison of my father’s choice.

Now as we lay in broken beds,
Not alone, but still apart,
I will dream upon that summer’s day
And lament the loss of your civility.
For anyone who's ever had to live with mental illness.
Faa Jun 15
Suffocating between houses so distant
Where oceans tempest in between
An opaque clutch on her throat consistent  
Tears wetting her façade, blatantly unseen  
The further the households grew apart
A greater despair pierced at her heart

Realisation non-emergent in her psyche
Convincing herself that just maybe
She can squeeze in amongst the houses
Within the distance vast yet she browses
To experience being cherished
On what it feels like to belong
Alas, that cannot be accomplished
Bonds hath severed for far long
I signed my name...

Your name
Attached to mine
I took your name in mine
Took your hand in mine
That was a different time

But back to today...
I took a pen to a page
And said goodbye
To that time
And the lying
And crying.

And now I’m not yours
And you’re not mine.

You’re free to be
And Choose how you’ll be
And you can no longer hurt me
I can be free.

I hope one day, you’ll see
All the harm you did to me
No bruises, no bleeding
But you’ll remember the anxiety, the screaming.
and now here’s me
With a little bit of PTSD.

But baby,
I won’t be there to agree.

Im taking care of me.
And taking back my name.
Broken-down systems
Broken-down values
Broken governments
Broken  families
Broken relationships
Broken faith
What will be left
After almost everything
Breaks down?
I see you
I feel -
Your wide dull eyes
I see through a mirror of pain
I sympathise
I know your loneliness
No-one else feels it .
You carry it well into the night

The ⛅ sun rises early morning
The birds fill the air with their melodies
You wake with a Spring in your step
You struggle
But fight
You plod on

The ⛅ sun-set goes down
Gives rise to a empty chair.
It reminds me of that song that's me in the corner. Losing my religion.
She Writes Jun 7
You didn’t know how to love me
The way I needed to be loved
You didn’t know how to hold me
And show me I was enough
Have you seen my ring?
Its old now, and worn out
Its seen fights, and tears
Through the years, through every outcome
It sat right between my pinky and my thumb
Not the finger I used to point out what was going wrong
Or the one I used to say "I never loved you either"
It was on the next one, over.
I wore it proudly, it brought me a sense of worth
Now that its missing i'll move heaven and earth to find it
My hand is confused
That finger forever internally bruised
From the force of losing it so quickly
It thickly layered scarring on my heart
It is tarring me apart
I would give anything to find my missing ring
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