I've watched the movies of my ages,
Even those that were before,
I've read books of teenage feelings,
I've read about leprechauns.

The world has become an endless series,
The scenes repeat in every lore,
There's no book that could surprise me,
The same stories in every store.

My eyes are saying they are full of seeing,
They are replete of colours,
Even my mouth is fed of disagreeing,
They both wish to remain closed.

While my eyelids are feignedly sleeping,
While my lips are firmly closed,
The darkness is calling and appealing,
But the movie colours shout.

The films keep shooting everywhere,
Like an ever writing Molière,
But do the plays interest me more,
Or not seeing them anymore?

what if?
two words. two syllables.
so small, yet so heavy.
a weight that sits on my shoulders.
a heartbreaking echo in the back of my mind.
a thought that keeps me awake at night.
a perspective that jeopardizes my relationships.
a parasite that lives in my head.
a virus that threatens my existence.
so toxic, yet so common.
two words. two syllables.
what if?

my thoughts
have invaded
continents
before
descending on
this mind
of mine

My head's so heavy,
                                    it would tremble the ground
after a gracious swish
                                         of a guillotine.


Not a grass stills steady,
                                            not an ear stays uncovered
from the epidemic noise
                                             leaving my head.


Only god knows the loss,
                                             the caused damage
by my freeing thoughts
                                          escaping the unworldly world.


No one could count
                                    all that good I could bring
all that bad I absorbed
                                         while living.


Now, with my head low,
                                           my thoughts may find peace
on glorious gadgets
                                     far from my macabre mind.

A door will always obstruct my path.
I'll never know what lies beyond it.
The breeze of golden opportunities,
Or the storm of continuing humdrum.
I'll never know.
The sugary luxuries,
Or the sour hardships.
I'll never know.
Might be divine,
Or disastrous.
I'll never know.
Unless.....
I open the unreliable door.

there are nights
like this
when i kept on
staring the cracks
at the ceiling
and wonder how
on earth
we keep
justifying
all the bullets
fired at us
just because
we love the
one
pulling
the trigger

I have food in my belly
A roof over my head
And thoughts that keep me spinning

I have a grandma who loves me
A cousin who looks up to me
A cat and a dog
That have so much warmth to give.

But All I can think
Is how there's a chance
That you don't love me

Every 7am
I check my phone
Hoping there's a message from you

How far down the line does this go
Is it mutual
Even a bit
Even at all?

But my hope is too strong
My faith isn't giving up
On the possibility of meeting your core.

I'm hard headed
Stubborn
And passionate to the bone.

I'm silly
And I'm serious

I'm goofy
Clumsy
And ****

I'm a paradox
Wrapped in skin.

You haven't figured me out
As I'm unraveling more so
Each and every breathe I take.

Discovering the magic in my fingertips
The power of my voice
And the strength in my dance.

I'm a warrior woman
A goddess who will always strive
Even when it's hard to get up
When I'm weak and shaky
When I've been knocked down
To the gravel

A goddess will always strive
Even with warm tears
In her eyes.

If the girl over there has you distracted
With her big eyelashes and flirtatious flare

I hope it's worth it,
Cause it cuts my wounded heart.
To know you didn't even try to understand

My eyes.
My tries.

Take a look deeper,
Take a look inside..

I may be fallen now.
But I will rise.

-k.c